DEFUSE ANYBODY. ANY TIME.
THIS will work for teachers but will likely be even more effective for school resource officers and workplace security officers. The Five Step Hard Style is central to the impressive Verbal Judo subject-control curriculum and is ingeniously engineered to influence 99% of Difficult People to do what you want him or her to do in such a way and in such a manner that the disturbed Person/Student believes that it is his or her idea in the first place.
The Five Step is designed to generate voluntary compliance – as opposed to expecting compliance from workers, students and others based simply upon one’s position of authority. It is custom made to work positively against the negative center of a disruptive or difficult person/student.
THE FIVE STEP
STEP 1. ASK INSTEAD OF COMMAND. I believe it is axiomatic that difficult students/people are psychologically, physically, and philosophically incapable of doing what they are told to do. Period. End of equation. However, research shows that 96% of difficult people will do what they are asked the first time they are asked. Think of how you feel and how you often react when you are told tersely to do something and do it now.
STEP 2. SET CONTEXT. EXPLAIN. Often, you and other authority figures probably don’t feel it necessary to explain to a (subordinate) subject why you are commanding him or her to do something. Think of this for a second. Why? Is the central question in a democracy, and democracy was won the hard way a couple centuries ago by Difficult People who refused to do what they were told. Studies and empirical evidence proves that when asked to do something, and when asking fails, explains why, Difficult People will voluntarily comply 97% of the time.
STEP 3. GIVE THE DIFFICULT PERSON OPTIONS. Every Difficult Person needs to perceive he or she has a say, one way or the other, in what happens to him/her. 98-99% of Difficult People will comply when asked to do something, when the reason for the “request” is explained, and, finally, when the authority figure (teacher, parent, security) allows the perception that he or she has a choice. I always try to say something like, “Sir, you have some good options here. You can (one or two good options), or you can continue to rant and rave and you will give us no choice but to restrain you and escort you to lock-up. Dude, think about it. Do you really need that kind of problems today? It’s up to you—“ In the end, it’s always up to the disruptive person, or, at leasxt that’s the perception I wish to generate.
STEP 4. CONFIRM. The objective of Step 4 is to confirm for the record that the person/student does not intend to comply. When you confirm for the record you are laying the foundation for any physical action you might be forced to use to attain control over the disruptive student/person.
“Jon, is there anything I can do or say to get you to go along with the program today? I sure hope so.”
You got to admit, the Confirmation Statement is both convincing and compelling. I have seen hardened gang- bangers drop their Tough Guy Act and actually comply, so stunned were they at an officer’s cool Confirmation.
But, in the case of the remaining 1%, there is always Step 5.
STEP 5. TAKE ACTION. One of the primary reason the 5-Step Hard Style works so well, if you ask me, is that each independent and linear step is increasingly mind-numbing to the Difficult Person. Why? Most disruptive people/students – when they are in the midst of perpetrating mischief and mayhem, never, or maybe rarely expect the authority figure (teacher or officer)to be reasonable, respectful and/or nice! And make no mistake about it, defusing a disruptive student is all about Being Nice!
But another reason the 5-Step works is the relentless truth that, at the end of the day, limits that have been set, options that have been given, and consequences that have been alluded to, must be enforced. So, after you ask the Confirmation Question and the doofus refuses to comply, you must take whatever action protocol or common sense calls for.
And, if you are cringing because you detest using force, or, more likely, are concerned that the school district or work place will question your use of force and/or why you felt compelled to use it, let me do my best to put those worries to rest. The Five Step will give any teacher or security officer the most crucial element of any legal defense or questioning regarding his or her use of force.
PRECLUSION. Which, simply put, means you can show, beyond a reasonable doubt, or at the very least, by a preponderance of the evidence that you did everything within your ability and power to preclude the use of force. You asked him/her nicely; you explained to the student why; you explained to the student what options he/she had (and the consequences for not choosing the compliant alternatives); and you confirmed nicely that he did not intend to comply.
Until Next Time, Stay Safe.
Hammer