Action Against Violence

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE
November 25, 2009

HAUNTED BY YOSEMITE – A SURVIVAL LESSON FOR GIRLS AND WOMEN!

Woke up around Oh-Dark Hundred – Hammer for the middle of the night – and, like many, many nights preceding, couldn’t make myself fall back asleep. My brain, I have long suspected, works fine during the day, but, left on its own while I sleep, is a lonely and restless wolf that shambles through every dark recess, kicking over random dendrites, atoms and neurons until all Hell is unleashed and my mind is lit up by some eternal goddammed torch-fire. A Torch-fire that I can not even hope to extinguish until I get myself out of bed and reduce the flotsam my wolf-brain has kicked over to an issue, or a problem, and then solve the bastard. Then and only then can I fall back to sleep.

The issue today – and why I am writing this – has much to do with Survival Skills for Girls and Women. I awoke haunted by a 20/20 story about 4 women who had come to Yosemite National Park soak in the eternal beauty and serenity of the park, all of whom were murdered in the most grisly way by Kerry Stayner (sp?), a handyman employed at the park.

As you may already know, I teach several self defense and survival courses for girls and women, among other courses, throughout the year. Not too long ago I took a temporary leave from teaching these courses because I believed I was failing at getting my messages of survival through to my students.

In short, I am haunted a lot by knowing too much. Knowing that so many of my students, if ever confronted with a man like Kevin Stayner in the same situation, would open their door at 10:30 at night and once confronted with a weapon and the promise that, if you cooperate and do what I say, you will not be hurt, would cooperate, believe the unbelievable, and, of course, die in the most horrible way imaginable.

You see, Stayner looked the part of an All American woodsman. Handsome, articulate. Stayner had watched the women, marked them like a hunter would, and, as he told an interviewer months later, assessed them as “ideal victims – compliant.” At 10:30 P.M., Stayner knocked on the Sang’s (victims’ last names) cabin door and asked to enter in order to “fix something in the bathroom.” At first the women would not open the door, most likely because of common sense. There was no problem in the bathroom, first of all, and, secondly, more likely than not, their gut instincts were screaming out, warning them that the handyman was a stranger, basically, besides, gut instincts are hardly ever wrong!

But, here’s the thing. Nice women will all too often let their upbringing and their socialization override their Gut Instincts (read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker). So, now, The Handyman was inside the cabin and he pulled out a gun and told the women that they would not be hurt if they did what he said and went along with the program. And, despite the fact that the gun was not loaded and there were three of them in different parts of the room, all three allowed themselves to be duct-taped, and all three watched as the oldest of the three was strangled to death and dragged into the trunk of a car; and then The Handyman returned and forced the next oldest to have sex with him before cutting her throat and tossing her body into the same trunk.
Strayner forced the 14-year old to have sex before gagging her and driving her a couple hours north before torturing the girl, then cutting her throat, too. The gagged girl had pointed at Strayner’s handgun, according to the Handyman, indicating that she wanted him to shoot her instead of using the knife. That’s when her killer informed her that the gun was not even loaded.

THERE ARE VALUABLE LIFE PRESERVING LESSONS HERE. Lessons I hope every reader takes to heart. They are basic and fundamental lessons, too. If any one of them would have been learned and acted upon, I wouldn’t be writing this post.

I ask you to re-read this post up to this point. Use your neo cortex – your Intelligent Brain – and I am sure you will know the lessons before I write them here:

• When traveling and staying at a hotel or lodge, always stay as close to population.
• Never open the door for anyone who is not in your staying party, unless in an emergency situation.
• Use Common Sense. If the person at your door identifies himself as anv employee, always get him to identify himself and verify the worker and the emergency by calling the main office. Takes less than a minute. And, think of this: If one of the victims would have simply said, “Sorry, Kevin, but just to be safe, I am going to call the office to verify you should be here at this hour—“ How long do you think Strayer would have stayed at the door, knowing the office would know he was stalking patrons of the lodge?
  If confronted by a Bad Guy who promises that you will not be harmed if you cooperate, always know that he is lying!v
  In the case of multiple “victims,” always understand that the Bad Guyv is outnumbered and cannot control two or more women by himself. An attack from different directions will most likely confuse him.
• A deadly weapon is reason for concern, but often a gun or knife is used to gain compliance and to instill fear. There is a chance that instant action on your part will be less dangerous than that weapon being used against you when you are stationery (like being tied up and choked or stabbed)

HERE IS A GREAT, LIFE PRESERVING SURVIVAL TIP. THE LASTv THING THE BAD GUY WANTS IS TO BE DELAYED AT THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE. HE WANTS YOU TO BE QUIET, COMPLIANT, AND EASY TO MOVE TO AN ISOLATED, SECONDARY CRIME SCENE (where, by the way, all 3 were found, over a month later). SO, MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS POSSIBLE, SCREAM, YELL, DESTROY THE ENVIRONMENT!! THROW FURNITURE THROUGH THE WINDOWS, RUSH HIM, HIDE FROM HIM, WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!

Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

October 17, 2009

ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME. PART III

If you are a parent committed to protecting your child against the evil Chicken Hawk (child molester/abductor) and you’ve been reading along with me, you know that in Parts I and II we talked about the importance of teaching your child the importance of doing everything she or he can do to always stay in the Initial Crime Scene (the medium-to-high-witness environment where your child was approached and attacked by the pervert), and, perhaps even more importantly, employing cool delaying techniques to expand the amount of time the predator is required to spend in the ICS in order to trap and abduct his prey.

Research shows that about 95 to 97% of the predators will break off their intended abduction attempt when they are faced with any determined resistance, included direct, challenging eye contact, verbal challenge, or even the appearance of readiness on the part of the child. As a matter of fact, most sexual predators won’t even seriously pursue a child who even looks like she or he is alert, aware and prepared to resist (The Tough Target Personality, of which I spoke in Part I).

But, hold the phone, Safety Coaches (you parents who are valiantly and tirelessly committed to coaching your children on these survival skills). What about the rare predator who may still attack your child despite his or her best delaying tactics? These are desperate and violent criminals who are determined to capture a victim for whatever reason that is driving them.

KID ESCAPE TECHNIQUES WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS.

1. THE FIGHTING ARTS AND TARGET FOCUSED TECHNIQUES. Let’s face it: Sending your kids to a martial arts class is a great idea, but no 8 or 10 year-old is going to whip a large, desperate, adult violent sex offender with fancy spin-kicks and the sort. I teach children, when they are grabbed by the adult, to look for open and vulnerable Primary Targets (targets that can stop the adult from breathing, seeing, moving after them). The adult’s hands will be occupied pulling the child in, so gouge the eyes with the fingers and thumb; strike the throat with a Beak Strike or the ridge of the hand; drive his or her forehead hard into the Bad Guy’s nose; kick or knee the groin and be ready for follow-up strikes. I have addressed how to perform each of the above-referenced strikes in previous posts, and, upon request I will go into them in more detail. The key is to strike or gouge a vital target and keep hitting, squirming, kicking and screaming until you are released. Safety Coaches can use props like the cardboard cylinder from a roll of toilet paper to replicate the delicate tissue of the throat, a soft pillow to gouge instead of the eyes.
2. IMPROVISED WEAPONS. Safety Coaches can teach their children how to use items that they normally would be carrying. A loud whistle can scare off a predator. A bright intensive light from a small flashlight in his eyes. Punching in 9-1-1 on a cell phone and saying “;Police—“ will also influence an attacker to back off. However, don’t forget the pure surprise impact of striking with that improvised weapon. Teach your child how to hold the cell phone low, as if it weren’t a weapon, and, then, as the predator closes in, drive the hard edge of the cell hard into his throat. Other improvised weapons can be a set of keys; a wallet; a purse or handbag; a rolled up newspaper; a book, you name it. Once again, Improvised Weapons and how to use them have been addressed in previous posts.
3. DROP LOCK AND ROLL. If and when the predator grabs your child and actually carries him or her to a car, an alley (Secondary Crime Scene), wherever, the Drop-Lock-and Roll is a great technique to teach your child. I have several DVD’s from my Kid Escape Program teaching each component of the escape move, and I will send one to you upon request (at cost) In short, I advocate one of two moves:

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER ONE. You know how hard it is trying to hold on to a puppy or kitten that doesn’t want to be held. Think of it. Ever try to scoop up your kid in a store when he or she really did not want to go? I simply add a surprise move to the formula. Secret Move A: For the initial 10 to 20 seconds the child acts as if he is paralyzed with fear, which by the way, is just what the abductor expects and wants. Invoke a false sense of security. As soon as the abductor loosens his grip – which he will when he pauses to open the door on his van, etc., teach your child to suddenly begin to kick and squirm and head butt and bite and claw until he becomes impossible to hold. This will result in the child slipping in the Bad Guy’s grip. Teach your child to deliver whatever strikes or moves that will enable him or her to escape, but, more likely thank not, she or he will have to resort to Escape Move Number Two.

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER TWO. This is what I call “Drop-Lock and Roll.” John Hall, the founder of Kid Escape, invented this and calls it by a different name. Like I said, I have the DVD. E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com and I will mail it to you at cost.

1. Delaying and Evasive Tactic Number One is the child will make it difficult to impossible for the adult to carry him or her into a vehicle. Squirm and turn toward the adult and when the grip is loosened teach the child to dive head first toward the abductors legs and latch on with both hands. If the Bad Guy has the child high, we advocate the child diving head first over the Bad Guy’s head and dive toward his buttocks, grabbing on to the Bad Guy’s waist first and squirming and working his or her way down to the subject’s legs.

2. DELAYING AND EVASIVE TACTIC NUMBER TWO has the child making him or herself impossible to hold by shimmying down the legs all the way to the feet. Latch on to one foot with both hands and now spin around and latch on to the other ankle by crossing both feet.

v ESCAPING FROM THE PREDATOR’S VEHICLE. Two key tactics. If, for whatever reason, the child IS abducted from the Initial Crime Scene and is about to be thrown into the vehicle:

1. THIS IS WHERE THE BAD GUY WILL LOOSEN HIS GRIP. Choose this exact moment to Drop/Lock/Roll. Enhance this move by kicking both feet against the front seat as the Bad Guy is trying to toss the child into the seat.

2. DO NOT LET THIS MISCREANT DRIVE YOUR CHILD AWAY! In my CAT or Kid Escape class I teach kids and parents not to ever give up. It is life or death important that the Bad Guy not be allowed to drive off with your child! I advocate several strategies, including:

1) Delay the inevitable by tossing the “male” seat belt buckle in the doorway to jam the door from closing.

2) Use The Element Of Surprise:

Ø Teach your child how to quickly unlock the passenger side door. Repeat the drill 50 times.

Ø Teach your child to act scared – which will not be an act, at all – and reach for the abductor.

Ø The abductor most likely will respond positively to the child wanting to hug him.

Ø Once in this position (face to face on the abductor’s lap/I know what you’re thinking: Scary), Latch on tight to the predator/Bite/gouge his eyes/grab the keys from the ignition and toss them out the window, and, if possible, scramble to the passenger door, open it and escape.

Ø Worse comes to worse, if your child n the Face-To-Face Position, how comfortable do you think an abductor would be driving on the streets or highway with a child who is not his on his lap, face-to-face, screaming?

Until Next Time. Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

October 16, 2009

ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD-ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME, PART II

In the last post we talked about the importance of teaching your child how to trust his or her gut feelings (“The Creeps”) so he/she can mark the potential adult predator before he invades your child’s PSZ (Personal Safety Zone, or, Hula Hoop Space). We also talked about what to do when your kid is confronted with the adult predator and running away might not be your child’s best option.

The tactical core of Counter Abduction Tactics (CAT), or Kid Escape (founded ny John Hall) is to force the abductor to spend more time at the Initial Crime Scene (ICS) than he wants to. A simple plan, this, but an effective one. Every minute, no, every second, the predator must spend in the ICS beyond what he had originally planned on is agonizing to the molester. Think of it: this adult miscreant knows who he is and what he is. He knows he is a pariah who cannot afford to get caught doing the unthinkable act he needs to do. There is this immutable clock in his head that is ticking louder and louder each second more he is delayed. The louder we can make that clock tick, the more confused and distracted and desperate he becomes. This is also why I urge my students to do whatever he or she can to stay in the Initial Crime Scene!

Even if it means getting injured, even severely, stay in the Initial Crime Scene. At least the child knows that an ambulance will be able to locate him or her there, whereas he or she will never be found in the isolated Secondary Crime Scene.

KID ESCAPE DELAYING TACTICS

1. Run while looking at the Predator.
2. Use Barricades in the Environment to Delay the Attacker.
3. Destroy the Environment (See the post from 10/15/09).
4. “Your Shirt Is On Fire.” One of the games we play in CAT and one of the games Safety Coaches (parents) can play. Quickly drop to the ground as if your shirt is on fire and roll as if you are trying to put the fire out. Adults have a tough time catching a kid who does this.
5. “Pole Dance For Your Life.” Kid Escape was designed as a survival technique when a woman who was being abducted reached out and grabbed a telephone pole and latched on with both legs, feet, arms and hands. The men who were trying to throw her into a van were unable to unlatch her and drove off out of fear they would be caught. Teach your child, as I do, to grab hold of whatever is around them and hold on for dear life. Yes, the Bad Guy might try to beat the child and may even hurt the child, but as John Hall says, “Self Defense is not an injury free endeavor.” Kids have been able to save themselves from being abducted by latching on to their bikes with hands, feet, arms and legs, putting their heads down and forcing the Bad Guy to try to lift them and the bike. Hard to do. Thousands of children have been abducted from their own beds with their parents only a few yards away. Teach them to save themselves by latching on to a bed post, a chair, anything and curling up in a ball and screaming as loud as they can! Play the “Pole Dance Game” with them. It’s fun, too. You’ll be surprised how imaginative your kids can be.
6. THE CRAB WALK. After playing “Shirt on Fire,” have your child face the Bad Guy (Role Play) place the palms of both hands on the floor, raise his or her butt and quickly crab walk backwards away from the Bad Guy. Scramble away as quickly as possible. It is possible, by doing this, the child can cause the Bad Guy even more of a delay at the ICS and possibly make that Internal Clock tick even louder. He might break off the attack. As with all evasive tactics, teach your child to make as much noise as possible.
7. ACT INSANE. Sexual Predator/Abductors target normal kids. You know, quiet, nice, courteous, considerate. Normal. So, screw it; teach your child (give him or her permission under special circumstances) to act crazy. You know: Loud, profane, nasty, moving around non-stop, hands and fists pumping, staring at the Bad Guy. Crazy!

NEXT POST: WHAT YOUR CHILD CAN DO IF AND WHEN THE PREDATOR GRABS HIM/HER AND TRIES TO CARRY HIM/HER OFF.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

October 15, 2009

Escape and Evade the Child Predator Damn Near Every Time. PART I.

It’s what I do. Study depressing statistics and the tactical trends of violence and I design trainings to somehow neutralize the threat. One person at a time. Or, if I’m lucky, one small class of people at a time. Suffice it to say that the statistics – and trends – behind child abductions in the United States is staggering. Something like 400,000 children a year. 1000 kids a day. Gone.

The National Center for Missing Children suggests that once a child is abducted by a predator (as opposed to a family member in a custody battle), we have a very short window to save the abducted child. It also suggests that a plan of action and good information are a family’s best defense against losing a child to an abductor. Moreover, the National Center for Missing and Abducted Children studied 403 attempted kidnappings from February, 2005 to July, 2006 and discovered a ray of hope for concerned parents. Children who fought their attacker had a 60% chance of escaping their abductor and about 10% of the children who were attacked were able to escape their abductor “when an adult or another child just happened by—“

The implications for a practical Escape and Evasion Survival System – at least to me – are undeniable. What children really need is a self defense training system that:

v Can be learned quickly.

v Is retainable.

v Is easy to perform under high survival stress situations.

v Can be taught at home or in school by a parent, guardian and/or teacher.

Hello. How about my CAT (Counter Abduction Technique) training program?

CAT Design. Simply and briefly put, CAT is designed around the Tactical Trends or scheme of the sexual predator. Through ardent research and personal experience (as a Pa. State Parole Officer), I know that the predator depends on several factors to allow him to abduct his prey:

v The universal sweetness of children, who are socialized to trust and believe all adults.

v The timidity of his prey.

v Silence or a lack of disturbance of the environment by the victim/child, thereby lacking any ability to alert witnesses.

v The readiness of nearby adults to believe an adult over a child.

v The removal of the victim/child from the Initial Crime Scene, which is usually a high-witness area, to a pre-planned isolated Secondary Crime Scene where the predator will be able to do whatever he wishes to do to the child for as long as he wishes without any possible interference.

v And, above all else, the predator depends upon and relies upon the element of speed. It is crucial to the abductor that he is able to take the child with the least amount of notice as quickly as possible before another child, adult, or the police can intervene.

CAT TECHNIQUES & TACTICS , therefore, teaches and promotes strategies that will transform an ideal victim/child into a Tough Target Child. Simply put, the TTC will be taught by his/her instructor or parents (Safety Coaches) to always do the following, which, by the way, is easy to teach and easy to do:

v BREATHE, TALK AND MOVE. The predator almost always chooses victims who are quiet, timid and still. Nine out of 10 victims, whether they be children or adults, FREEZE AT FIRST TOUCH. Teach your child to be a Tough Target who uses First Touch as a trigger to explode into action. I teach children to quickly swing their arms and hands toward their head – as if they were Elvis combing his hair – to escape the inevitable arm grab and then step and move away and shout at the abductor. If there are others in the area, shout “Hey, this guy is not my father!” Children should also make direct eye contact with the predator so he knows the child knows what he is up to. Many will break off the attack and move on at this point.  As for breathing, 9 out of 10 who freeze when first attacked will ALSO HOLD THEIR BREATH!  Doing that assures that no oxygenated blood will reach the brain or the Central Nervous System.  Result:  A child who resembles a frozen rabbit.  In other words, an ideal victim!

v ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR SPACE. I use a Hula Hoop during the early phase of my CAT or Kid Escape classes. Kids love hula hoops, and, of course, asking them to hold a hula hoop around their waist is a non-threatening way to define the radius of their Personal Safety Zone (have your child hold the hoop tight against their back side and study the space created by the hula hoop in front of them). I tell them that they should allow no adult, save for those on their Gold List inside that PSZ. Safety Coaches can run role play scenarios with the child and teach them what to do if and when a non-Gold Lister attempts to enter their space without his or her permission.

Ø J-Step Away.

Ø Ste-Slide Away, recreating their space.

Ø Place an environmental barricade between him/her (the child) and the adult.

· DISENGAGE, IF POSSIBLE. Safety Coaches must teach their children to be observant, To notice adult/strangers who do not seem to belong on the scene, who appear to be paying too much attention to the child. Being observant will also trigger the child’s Gut Instincts, better known to children as “The Creeps.” Advise your child to always trust those feelings. At your child’s

· earliest opportunity he/she should put as much distance between himself and the adult as possible. How, you might ask?

Ø Always try to remain in the company of at least one other child. Two children have an 80% less of a chance of being abducted.

Ø Run in a zig zag, or serpentine fashion.

Ø Destroy the Environment. Throw object at the Bad Guy’s feet, knock objects over. Try to draw attention to yourself. Make a scene.

Ø Try not to turn your back on the adult. Turning your back triggers the Predator instinct in the abductor and he will catch you. Keep your eye on him and run sideways.

BY ALL MEANS, THE KEY TO INFLUENCING THE MOLESTOR TO BREAK OFF HIS ATTACK IS TO REFUSE TO LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH HIM AND TO MAKE HIM SPEND MORE TIME THAN HE WOULD LIKE IN THAT INITIAL CRIME SCENE!

More on delaying the Bad Guy at the Scene in the next post.

Stay safe until then.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 28, 2009

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE(WPV) – WHAT TO DO?

A couple posts back I promised to talk about what to do if ever you are caught in a volatile workplace scenario where it is apparent either a patient, resident, client, or co-worker is about to perpetrate some serious hurt on you or another worker.

First of all, there are basically four types of WPV:

1) Violence at the hands of patients/clients.

2) Violence Associated with robbery and other crimes.

3) Domestic Violence that spills over into the workplace.

4) Violence among co-workers and managers.

In any of these cases, when you feel there is a threat of violence – and here I am mostly talking Domestic Violence Spillover; Violence at the hands of clients and Violence among workers – do your best to report your feelings and observations to superiors at the site. My research shows that over 85% of WPV could have been prevented if reported. Of course, often events and observations go unreported because the workplace has either a poor reputation for investigating complaints fairly (and for keeping whistle-blowers anonymous), or no capability.

COUNTER-WPV STRATEGIES

There are 4 stages of WPV, each ascending stage more dangerous than the preceding stage. WPV ranges from shouting obscenities to mass murder. Therefore, when I allude to Counter WPV Strategies, I am referring to strategies against Stage 4 Type WPV (Simple Assault; Aggravated Assault; Sexual Assault; Rape; Active Shooter in the Workplace; etc.).

v TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You wouldn’t ignore a Smoke Detector or a Fire Alarm, would you? When you get that feeling that something is wrong, there is.

v HAVE A WPV PLAN. If you are lucky, you have a forward-thinking employer, who not only has a (Natural) Disaster Plan, a Fire-Escape Plan, but has a plan for Violence in the WP, too, including:

Ø A WPV Chain Of Command.

Ø An Assigned Laison with police.

Ø All employees must know how and when to contact Security and/or the Pre-Assigned Chain Of Command in an emergency.

Ø A Communication System to alert workers.

Ø A Lockdown and/or Evacuation Plan.

· HAVE YOUR OWN WPV PLAN. Seriously, with violence in the WP growing at exponential rates, you should have a Personal Safety Strategy, including, but not limited to answers to the following crucial questions:

Ø What can I use as an improvised weapon to protect me at my job site?

Ø Do I know where the alarms are? Do I know the Chain of Command and how to contact Security?

Ø What items at my site could a perpetrator use as a weapon against me?

Ø Is my work site (desk, etc.) situated so that I can escape, or am I trapped here?

O CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Use your environment to control your space. Prevent the Bad Guy from entering your PSZ (Personal safety Zone).  Use barricades, such as desks, chairs, AV equipment, waste cans, et al, to gain distance from the perpetrator, or to throw at him to delay his or her approach.

v STRENGTH IN NUMBERS. If possible, call on others whom you trust to gather with you against the perpetrator.

AND, IF YOU ARE THINKING, WELL, GOSH, THESE SUGGESTIONS ARE COMMON SENSE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS, JUST ALLOW ME TO SAY THAT, IN A CRISIS THE RAREST COMMODITY IS COMMON SENSE! IT IS BEST TO THINK AHEAD. ALWAYS!

STAY SAFE.

HAMMER

The theme here is that – as bad as things may look – it aint over ‘til it’s over. The bedroom attacker may make a mistake – many of them do – caused by overconfidence, or you might – if you keep your mind clear (not an easy thing to do) – find an opening that can set you free.

BEDROOM SURPRISE, PART II

September 27, 2009

In my last post I talked of a situation where the Bad Guy is sitting atop his victim’s chest, his knees painfully pinning her arms, then, apparently seizing the moment when she stops struggling, he pauses to unzip his trousers anticipating oral sex. When the attacker does this – and this is something I hope you remember – he is compromising his balance and is most vulnerable to any kind of rapid balance displacement move on your part.

Roll the Bad Guy off using the following steps:

1) TRAP the foot on the side you intend to throw the attacker by placing your weakside foot on the outside of his foot (Posting or Trapping).

2) Slide your opposite foot inward until it is just below the attacker’s buttocks, Your thigh should be touching his rear end and the sole of that foot should be flat on the deck.

3) Reach up with the hand on the opposite side as the Bad Guy’s trapped foot and grab him by the shirt.

4) Simultaneously and powerfully as you can, drive your butt in the air (bridge) and push hard with the leg and foot that you had slid close to his buttocks (heel flat on the ground) in order to propel the Bad Guy off of you. At the same time, pull the hand that has hold of his shirt in the direction you wish him to roll.

5) Imagine that your butt is lifting up and driving your navel or belt buckle directly into the mattress.

6) Never give up. Use all your power. You can do it.

7) Once the attacker is off of you, strike him with whatever personal weapon (bite, gouge, knee him, kick him, drive the heel of your foot into his face) you have and get out of Dodge.

One note: As always, it is up to you if and how you do this. You can wait until he is distracted by un-zippering, or you can play into his plans by acting like you are giving up and will do what he wants. Women /girls have waited until the attacker actually had his member out and was starting to move it toward the victim’s mouth when they made their move. It was the last thing the Bad Guy expected!

Another escape I often teach features the attacker crawling up and attempting to get inside the woman’s legs. I actually advocate the woman spreading her legs – which is what the Bad Guy wants. Once he is inside and puts her in a choke hold, I teach women to latch onto both hands and not let go, while, simultaneously kicking the attacker in the ribs and back of the head with her legs and feet. I then teach the intended victim to “shrimp up” to gain distance from the attacker so she can drive both of her heels into his hips. Now, simultaneously hold onto the hands and drive the feet into the subject, and, then, while still holding onto his hands drive both feet hard into his face. Escape.

Stay safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 26, 2009

BEDROOM SURPRISE

Ever ask yourself what would I do if ever I was attacked while I was asleep? I get the question a lot at my Survival Skills for Women classes. I get a lot of questions about darn near every conceivable type of attack under every situation possible, and some that are not possible. I’ll get to some of those other questions in future posts, but, for now, I thought I’d wax on about what you might if ever you were attacked in bed.

Once again, I’m going to ask you to rely on a cluster of dependable and effective principles rather than specific techniques that you would have to dredge up from your subconscious while some creep is pinning you down and your heart rate is spiking through the roof as the result of survival stress.

These Principles are simple and there aren’t too many of them. They are the same for just about any type of attack, including the bedroom assault.

v Breathe Tactically. Most victims in this situation hold their breath and say nothing, which to the attacker is like an engraved invitation to have fun, do whatever you wish to me.

v Do Something. Never Freeze.

v Say Something. Freezing and staying mute in the face of a life and death attack empowers the villain and disempowers you! “Get back!”

v Hit An Open Target. It’s damned near Natural Law. At least one of the 3 or 4 vital targets will be open. Hit it hard and others will pop open.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. TURN HIS EXPECTATION AGAINST HIM!

Hold the phone. You say, “well, that’s all fine and dandy, but, you see, I will almost always be under my sheet and blanket. It is likely that I will not be able to use my hands.

Good point. Here’s another point: If you are unable to use your personal weapons now, understand that at some point in this ordeal, the Bad Guy must let down his defenses, which is exactly when you can and must strike!

If the attacker is there simply to pound you and nothing else, you are in serious doo-doo, if your arms are pinned (domestic violence), I admit that. But, in the scenario of a rapist who is attacking you in your bed, more likely than not, he will eventually pull down the covers in order to do what it is he came to do. When he pulls the sheets away, it is your time to deliver the Bedroom Surprise.

Ok, lets assume now the covers are off and your hands and feet are free.

ASSAULTS AND ESCAPES

v Bad Guy is standing at the side of your bed. You awake. Raise the leg on the side where the assailant is standing. This will prevent him – believe it or not – from climbing on top of you. Two things to consider here:

(1) None of his targets are available to you. They may be open, but there is no way you can hit them.

(2) However, in order to harm you, he must get closer to you. If and when he bends to choke you, his eyes are now within your reach. Quickly drive the closest hand into his eyes. If you hit them, he will recoil, I guarantee it. When he does that, either dive off the bed in the other direction, or, better yet, roll off toward him and knee him in the groin and keep hitting him until you can escape safely.

v Bad Guy is sitting on your chest and he has both your hands pinned above your head. You might say to yourself, I am truly screwed here. Cannot blame you one iota because this is a very hard attack to escape, especially when you lack upper body strength. A good thing to remember is the Bad Guy expects you to try to escape by pushing him off of you. It is important that you use the element of surprise here, though.

(1) Bend both your legs bringing them right up close so that your thighs are against his buttocks, making sure to keep both heels flat on the deck. The crucial move is to distract the attacker by biting him or kicking him and then jerking your hands quickly so that both hands are now even with your shoulders.

(2) Either Pretend to give up, or throw him off.

NOTE: Think about this. Both of the Bad Guy’s hands are tied up, as are yours. This is a stand-off. Women have escaped this situation by crying and saying “I give up,” at which time the attacker loosened his grip and reached to unzip his fly. It is at that very second that he is most off-balance and thrusting him off of you is most easily accomplished).

(3) To throw him off, simultaneously power both arms down toward your sides and thrust your hips/buttocks straight up and then roll so that your navel or belt buckle is driven directly into the ground.

v BAD GUY SITS ON YOUR CHEST, PINNING BOTH ARMS WITH INSIDE OF KNEES. The Bad Guy may try to force you into performing oral sex. This is actually a vulnerable situation the Bad Guy has placed himself in. Instantaneously raise your buttocks off the bed and anchor both heels to the inside of his shoulders. Now pull him backwards by driving your legs back.

Next: More Bedroom Escapes.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 25, 2009

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE: SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

The question my last post left you with was: “So, despite your efforts to prevent being victimized, your co-worker or client is striding toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your Personal Safety Zone (PSZ). What do you do?

At the risk of oversimplifying the situation, there are a few things I would do as quickly as possible. And, if I may add, I would do them decisively and, importantly without hesitation caused by thoughts and/or concerns regarding my company’s Zero Tolerance of Violence Protocol.

See, the thing is, the key difference between you and the person about to main or kill you (and I am still thinking of Ms. Lee, the Yale graduate student who was choked and beaten to death and stuffed inside a wall on her wedding day) is intent. The perpetrator’s sole thought and focus is on you. You are the target and nothing else on Earth exists. If your mind and focus shifts to anything but your attacker – even for a millisecond – you are toast.

Anywho, there are a few things I would do and do quickly:

v STUN THE HYPER-FOCUSED IDIOT. A great tactic is to take the attacker’s strengths and mindset and turn them against him/her. We know he is focused only on you, so break his focus. Think of it as Changing His/Her Channels. Any move that changes his focus from Channel 6, which he wants to be on, to another channel will slow him down, fragment his strategy, and split the crucial connection between his/her mind and body.

Ø Scream or Yell “Stop!” Sounds stupid, but this will work. It will only work one time, but it will startle him, maybe give you time to escape.

Ø Physically Distract Him/Her. This, too, will work. Has worked for me on several occasions. Throw an object toward him, toward his face – something like a hat, a pen, something.

Ø Verbally Distract Him or Her. “Holy crap, Andy, what the hell is that on your shirt?” said while backing up and pointing at his chest. Once again, it has the effect of changing his or her channel.

v CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Without crossing your feet (and tripping) J-Step or move diagonally or laterally away, denying the subject the ability to invade your safety zone. Let him know what you want him to do. Say something, and when you say it, mean business. “Stay Back!” The longer you can delay the attack the better your chances for survival.

v USE BARRICADES IN THE ENVIRONMENT. Hopefully, your mind will have the ability to think clearly. There should be furniture in your environment that you can use to separate you from the attacker. Increase your distance from the perpetrator. Maybe throw a chair or something else at his feet. Always keep moving.

v BREATHE DON’T FREEZE. We all need oxygenated blood flowing freely so our brains can analyze, evaluate. And formulate a survival strategy. Always breathe consciously to kick you into gear.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE AND DEFEND YOURSELF. I have discussed surprise strategies in so many past posts that I don’t think I will go into them here and now. Not only that, Tactics of Surprise cannot be taught in a blog. They must come from you depending on what you perceive the attacker least expects.

v EXECUTE THE PLAN YOU HAD DEVELOPED. The reason I say I know what I would do in this or that case is I know I would always have a Plan A and even a Plan B (failure plan)  in mind before any attack began, especially if I found myself in a situation where I felt an attack was a possibility.

Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 23, 2009

MANAGING WORKPLACE VIOLENCE

My last post – let’s face it – was basically me venting after the senseless murder of a Yale graduate student – a woman – in the supposedly high security lab environment of that esteemed university. The police have dubbed the murder as workplace violence, and, although I don’t completely agree, I posted a monograph on Woman and Workplace Violence (WPV). As I promised at the end of that post, let’s talk a bit about how to effectively deal – on a personal level – with people and events that seem to be cascading toward all –out violence on the job site.

FACTORS THAT PLACE WORKERS AT RISK FOR WPV.

v Contact with the public.

v Responsibilities include the exchange of money.

v The delivery of passengers, goods and/or service.

v Working alone or in small numbers.

v Working with volatile, unstable person(s), et al.

v Working late at night or in the early morning hours.

v Working in a high crime area.

v Guarding valuable properties, including drugs, etc.

v Delivery of home care services.

As you may have noticed, only two of those factors existed relative to the murder of Ms. Lee. She was working alone and she was working in the same location as what turned out to be a volatile, unstable person.

RECOGNIZING THOSE RED, RED FLAGS.

If at all possible, of course, work in the company of people whom you trust. More likely than not, if Ms. Lee had, the angry, emotionally disturbed and volatile person would have stewed in his own rage for a while and gone on his way, leaving Ms. Lee unharmed.

However, if you read my last post (Lust Or WPV?), you might be aware that homicide is the number one cause of death for women (in the workplace). You would also know that incidents of stalking, rape, sexual assault, and other types of violence are visited on women in alarmingly increasing numbers.

My point: Even if she would have gone to the Yale lab with one or two friends, the perpetrator likely would have attempted to stalk, trap and attack Ms. Lee when she was alone and vulnerable.

What then are some of the Red Flags, or Signatures of Danger, you can use to help you profile someone you want to either stay clear of, or, more likely, prepare a self defense plan against?

v A history of violence, stalking, etc. (The Perp in this case had this history).

v He/She has stalked or harassed another worker in the past.

v Some or Many of your co-workers communicate that they also feel uncomfortable around this person.

v The worker is almost always rigid, inflexible, intransigent in how he/she handles work and social-related issues.

v Displays signs of chronic sadness, hopelessness, depression.

v The worker often states his or her hopelessness.

v The worker identifies with past perpetrators of spectacular WPV.

v A Fascination with guns and other weapons.

v Reacts poorly to criticism.

v Projects blame onto others.

v Sees himself as being on a One-Man Crusade.

Ok, so you recognize several of these factors, plus, importantly, you and others feel terribly uncomfortable around the worker, plus, and now I refer to the Yale Incident, he strides toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your PSZ (Personal Safety Zone).

What do you do?

Stay Tuned For the Next Post. Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 22, 2009

LUST OR WORKPLACE VIOLENCE? PART I.

Been away again. Training and a nice vacation. As pleasurable as was my vacation, I sit here roiled to the max. While I was gone a sweet, loving and beautiful young Yale grad student was strangled to death inside a supposedly well-secured building (lab) by a lab technician employed by the highly-reputed university.

Lest I forget, there were several abductions/murders of children in the three weeks I was gone. I will address child safety strategies in future posts (as I have numerous times in the past), but I feel I need to run on a bit about the murder of Ms. Lee at Yale.

The authorities suggest that the death was entirely the result of Workplace Violence, is an isolated event, and there is no evidence that Lee’s murder had anything to do with lust, stalking, unrequited love, etc. My opinion differs with the authorities, but I will withhold expounding on this further until more facts are known.

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE AND WOMEN

Fact is, Lee was a young woman, one day removed from her wedding date, and she was alone in what I’m sure she thought was a safe environment. However, if you understand the dynamics underpinning WPV (Workplace Violence), you know that no one – especially a woman – is (totally) safe when they are in an isolated environment with a worker who matches the Profile of a WPV Perpetrator as the alleged killer did.

Here are some cogent facts about WPV, Women and the Profile of a WPV Perpetrator:

v Homicide is the leading cause of death for women in the workplace.

v In 1990 to 1992 there were over 13,000 victims of rape in our workplaces. Sounds like a lot of sexual violence in the WP, but the figure becomes even more alarming when you consider that well over 56% of WPV goes unreported!

v Between 1990 and 1999, over 1.7 million workers were victims of crimes of violence, and, I repeat, well over 56% of WPV goes unreported!

v Each year workers report over two million assaults @ year!

v 51,000 rapes and/or sexual assaults are reported @year.

v And over 10,000 are murdered! Homicide is easily the predominant cause of death in the workplace.

v One of the factors in Why Workers Become Victims (my research) reveals that a predominant reason behind becoming a victim is a

Failure to Recognize Danger Signs, and/or a lack of understanding of what to do if and when one does (recognize the signs).

CHARACTERISTICS OF WPV PERPETRATORS

v Perp has a history of violence, stalking, harassment (the alleged killer had many issues involving all three).

v Personal characteristics and psychological patterns of rigidity, inflexibility, sadness, chronic anger, depression. (Alleged killer possessed, I submit, almost all of these characteristics as suggested by the belief that he went ballistic because he perceived that Ms. Lee was mistreating her lab mice. Yeah, that’s normal).

v Identification with other/former perpetrators of WPV.

v Perpetrator sees self as a Crusader For Justice! Once again, the alleged killer iced Ms. Lee because he perceived she was doing wrong to the mice. Indeed, the killer saw himself as a Protector! Saw himself as fighting a one-man war against in justice!

v The Perpetrator is Hyper-Focused. Monitors the comings and goings, the behavior of others, though it is not his job. He maintains a dossier on co-workers and has stalked one or more co-workers in the past (the killer had a history of this, I believe).

v The Perpetrator has a Stalker’s Personality. He will never let go of a person or issue until workplace superiors absolutely force him or her to (Hyper-Focused).

v HYPER-CONTACT: Even when fired, the perpetrator will still not let go. He will spend more time contacting and focusing on that worksite than on obtaining employment.

Part II. Threat Managing Techniques in the Workplace.

Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer