WAY TOO MANY children go through Hell at school almost every day.  It affects almost everything they do or don’t do.  Like eating, sleeping, studying.  It retards their relationships with others, and, in some cases, affects their self image all the way through adulthood.  Maybe all the way to the grave.

MY STUDIES show that over 3.2 million children and teens are victimized each year.  Making it more pernicious is the humiliation factor resulting in only 33% of kids eventually telling their sad stories to a teacher, much less than that to a parent.  It is a painful secret that too many carry with them in desperate silence, making them a victim over again and again in their nightmares and almost every waking thought.

BULLYING is timeless, relentless and ubiquitous in our schools and playgrounds.  Hell, it is an integral part of our society.  This is why I have poured myself into training children and parents on how to end bullying, at least in their individual worlds.  I admit, there is no counter-bullying blueprint, but there are easy-to-teach (and learn) techniques that really, really work.

TEACHERS, PARENTS – BECOME SAFETY COACHES

1. Concerned parents and teachers can start a Bully-Be-Gone Program simply by talking with kids.  Show interest in their school life.  There are specific questions you can ask, not only to show interest, but to find out if bullying is happening , and, if so, to what degree.
2. Never tell a child to ignore the bully and never blame the child.  Instead listen, actively listen to the child without criticizing.  Empathize, please.
3. Keep emotions in check.  Advise school authorities of the facts as you (think you) know them.  Let the authorities know you are looking for a resolution.
4. TEACH THE CHILD COUNTER-BULLYING TECHNIQUES AND SKILLS:  These can be taught in a non-threatening, fun and safe way to your child.  In a subsequent post I will go into some fun and interactive ways parents and/or teachers (Safety Coaches) can teach these skills – much like I do – in a way that does not frighten the child while concomitantly motivating him or her to practice these skills at least once a week.
   • BREATHE DON’T FREEZE.  Start off with this one because 9 out of 10 victims, when confronted by a bully or adult predator, for that matter, hold their breath and freeze in place like a deer frozen in the lights of an oncoming car.  Whenever you role play a scenario, make sure that the first thing the child does is breathe tactically.  Does two great things:  One, it pumps oxygenated blood into the kid’s system that empowers him ort her to think and act.  Two, if done right, it can scare the bejezus out of the bully.  In my classes the scenario plays out with the bully confronting the intended victim and the boy or girl makes tight fists (the act of tightening the fist triggers the predator instinct within the child and sends a message to the Central Nervous System that impels blood to flow freely) and then he or she begins to expel air through his/her mouth and making exaggerated “blowing” sounds.
   • Felony Face.  Fear is more contagious than courage, but never forget anger, determination and courage can be communicated non-verbally!  Teach the child to be a good actor/actress.  Make a face that communicates to the bully that he or she is no Free Lunch, no easy victim.
   • Interview Stance.  Teach the child an “interview stance” that communicates readiness.
   • Verbalize.  In this limited post I can’t go into too many specifics, but suffice to say that almost all easy victims say nothing when confronted.  Almost every bullying attack is preceded by an “interview” where the bully sizes up his or her victim and paralyzes him or her in fear.  It makes sense, then, to develop a simple but assertive verbal script. 
   • Happy Feet.  Teach the child not to plant his or her feet “in cement.”  Keep moving.  This allows the child to maintain a Personal Safe Zone and to control his or her space. 

More likely than not, if the child/teenager breathes; looks like he/she is willing to fight, if necessary; maintains a good “Interview Stance” that communicates not only readiness, but is balanced and in a constant state of motion (power stems from a sort of “wave” that flows through the body, enhanced by motion) and is combined with assertive language (“C’mon, Butch, we really don’t have to do this, man.”), it is axiomatic that 9 out of 10 bullies will back off in a hurry.  But, Hammer Fans, as sweet as that sounds, the fact is, despite your child or teen’s best efforts, some bullies will still attack, probably because a crowd has gathered and now they have to act tough for the crowd.  So, what now Safety Coaches?

In the next post I will go into the physical tactics that will send that pesky bully running fast in the other direction.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

SSPEED -A Dynamic Self Defense Equation Against Bullies and Other Predators.

IF YOU have been following my posts, you are familiar with my Tough Target Techniques for avoiding (evading) an attack by a bully, or, in the case of women, a stalker/ predator.  The important thing is, if possible, to evade the attacker without having to fight.  Preparation, Planning, Practice and Prevention - The 4 P’s of the Fighting Arts - comprise about 95 to 98% of successful self defense. 

OF COURSE, we all know that is not always possible.  Predators (for the sake of this post, I will restrict “predators” to bullies and male attackers of girls and women) almost always “tune up” for attacks through Verbal Testing.  Michael Pace, a highly respected self defense expert, agrees, noting that “the preliminary for an attack is The Interview - the threats, questions, insults and/or the ‘woofing—”  Most attacks start off with a “verbal assault because the predator wants to find out what he or she is up against - an easy target or someone who will give him or her a real fight.  A Target Person (TP) who ignores these threats, insults, or questions”will open the door for an immediate physical attack.”

S.S.P.E.E.D TO THE

RESCUE:

MICHAEL PACE calls it “Faked Compliance,” and I call it Feeding the Beast.  Call it what you like, but by faking compliance we are feeding the beast’s expectations.  He is verbally accosting the victim and his/her Tough Target words and body language have not deterred him, so when he grabs the TP (Target Person), he is relaxed, overconfident and certain that the TP is a “free lunch,” or an easy target. 

WHAT FOLLOWS is the SSPEED Counterattack Plan:

1. The Predator grabs the TP by the collar & shakes the “victim.”
2. Upon First Touch (by the Bad Guy) the TP raises both hands higher than the attacker’s, palms out, shaking them side to side in a “please don’t hurt me,” gesture and even says “please don’t hurt me!”  This is Faked Compliance or Feeding The Beast’s Expectation at its best.
3. The Bad Guy - expectations fulfilled - gains confidence in his assault’s inevitable success -moves closer, determined to throttle the victim.
4. At this point - which is First Touch by the attacker- the Target Person (TP) should Explode forward, driving both hands from their “Compliant Position” into the Bully/Predator’s face, striking hard and often quickly (Speed), connecting unexpectedly (Surprise) using quick Palm Heel Strikes to the most painful, vulnerable targets - the nose, eyes, mouth - and/or, combining the very hard heel of each hand with slashing fingertips and nails (to be used for Deadly Attacks only/attacks by bullies are not usually lethal in nature) strikes to the chin and/or nose followed up with eye strikes and gouges.
5. Palm Heel Strikes are ideal for quick (speed) surprise strikes to the face because one can hit from wherever the hands are without changing one’s hand position, plus, the heel of the palm provides a hard and powerful striking area which is both easy with which to strike and a injury-friendly area, even for a novice fighter.
6. If the attacker has grabbed the TP with both hands, there is no earthly way he or she can block these strikes.  Even if  there is one hand free to block, though,  I say go ahead and rain the bully with a storm of strikes - one strike will never ever do the job - until the threat is over.  And, as the bully lets go to protect his vital targets, I guarantee other targets will open.  I say, do it.  Hit them and hit them hard.

S.S.P.E.E.D:  Breaking It Down:

Speed:     Although Power is important in knocking out an attacker, getting to a target first is essential to winning.  There are aspects to speed that I will address is another posting, in this scenario, speed is manifested by striking with the hands exactly where the Bully sees them in the Compliant/Begging For Mercy Position.  In other words, strike from that position without telegraphing the punch by drawing back either hand, which would effectivelt destroy the element of surprise.   

Surprise: The element of surprise is the key to a successful counterattack.  The TP has set up the bully by using the “Compliant Position” and the predator has “taken the bait.”  In my Self Defense classes, the Palm Heel Strikes are Stunning Techniques, and Stuns are described as the “stimulation of overwhelming sensory input that is sudden, intense and unexpected–”  Simply put, this means that the delivering a cluster of speedy strikes to open, vulnerable targets will weaken a bully/predator through a devastating series of Mental Stuns that effectively weakens the attacker, destroys his or her (false) confidence and opens up vulnerable targets.                 

Power:  More on how to create and sustain pure Power in one’s techniques in the next posting.

Explode:  Explosiveness differs from Power in many important ways.  Look for another posting

Escape :  I will address crucial E & E strategies in another posting, also.

Dynamic:  I had to come up with a concept to complete my catchy “SSPEED” acronym.  Being Dynamic, though, means, once a TP is approached, accosted verbally, and set up for an attack, he or she must be Willing (being willing is as imporatnt as, maybe more important than, being able) to carry out the SSPEED Plan of Action with 110% commitment.

HARRY HAMMER

HOPEFULLY,  a bully’s intended victim (Target Child) can avoid fighting through the strategies I advocated in my last posting.  In the great majority of instances, projecting self confidence, being assertive and vocal, breathing tactically, appropriate body language (especially the hands) and some old fashioned confident eye contact can and will discourage approximately 95% of these would-be thugs.  However, there are those bullies who are so determined to attack that the target-child is going to get grabbed, grappled with or even punched no matter what he or she does.  For instance, even though a thug might catch the vibes that the kid he thought was a sissy is not intimidated in the least, and, as a matter of fact, is quite willing to fight back, he may still attack because of an “audience” and/or the fact that he has bragged that he is going to beat the target-child up and simply cannot back down.

THREAT RECOGNITION

Step 1 is recognizing an imminent attack.  There exist what I call Signatures of Danger that occur just before any attack.  A few of them could be:

·         Gut Feelings:  Invariably the target-child (TC) will sense a punch coming.  Always obey your instincts.

·         Boxer Stance:  Strong leg drops back, strong hand becomes a fist, usually poised behind rear leg, strong shoulder drops.

·         Sprinter Stance: Bully will lean and move forward, will dip his head just before he charges.

·         Increased Body Tension:

                                                  S.P.E.E.D.

STEP 2 is to use SPEED to avoid a serious fight at the least and to temporarily disable the bully (never permanently injure) the bully.

·         Speed.  Your first move should be fast.  Very fast.  Speed is borne out of preparation (have a plan before the bully even approaches/more likely you have been approached by this or another bully before), confidence and determination. 

·         Power.  Whatever your move, speed must be backed up by power.  I will give an example or two later in this post and the next.

·         Escape.  Depending on the setting, your goal should be to escape the bully.  Especially in school where there may be a zero-tolerance policy regarding violence.

·         Evasion.  You may not be able to escape, but evading a major fight through tactics involving distraction, misdirection and balance displacement will allow the TC to deflect the attack long enough to tire out the bully and/or allow help to arrive.  I will discuss this more in my next posting.  In many instances, I advocate tactical movement, quickly grappling the bully, and then footsweeping him to the ground in order to escape.

·         (Go) Dynamic:  My SPEED System has escape and evasion as its main objective, however, when all else fails, we are going Dynamic on the bully.  In short, Dynamic strategies include the use of personal weapons, such as the head (butt), Palm Heels, elbows, hammer fists, knees and feet versus the bully’s vulnerable targets (nose, chin, torso, inner and outer thighs and lower shin areas).  In the next and future postings I will show how to Go Dynamic in serious fighting scenarios, not only for children, but for teenagers, adults, women and seniors.

 SPEED IN  ACTION

THE FIGHTING ARTS are tough to describe in a post.  Self defense after all is dynamic and is impossible to script.  However, S.P.E.E.D as a bully countermeasure will sketch out different than in a Self Defense For Women scenario, which, by the way, might have life or death implications.  One common bully-scenario looks like the following (this is realistic & repetitive, believe me):

The bully has a child, much smaller than he, up against a wall in the Boy’s Room.  He is poking a finger into the kid’s chest - hard - and belittling the boy.  Words have had little effect and the Target-Child (TC) cannot move.  Suddenly, unexpectedly, the TC moves his right hand to a spot just above the larger boy’s left elbow and powerfully pulls that arm toward his center and then past, as if he is opening a door.  The bully is thrown off balance and the TC quickly steps “through the door,” says “I’m late for class.  See you later.” And is out the door.

If the bully is somehow prepared for the maneuver, or is too strong to be swung off balance, the TC uses the bully’s size and strength against him, “rotating around the pole,” as I call it.  The intended-victim grabs the arm above the elbow and uses the strong arm to allow him (the TC) to rotate to a position behind the bully.  My SPEED program teaches the TC to quickly “get out of Dodge,” if he can, but, if he cannot escape or evade further entanglement, I advocate “going Dynamic” by driving a foot downward into the bully’s tibial (at the top of the calf), which should cause the bully’s legs to collapse.  The TC can enhance either or both of the above SPEED moves with a quick, powerful Front Kick to the bully’s lower shin, a dynamic distraction technique that almost always drop the thug.

More SPEED Bully Countermeasures in the next posting by Harry Hammer, plus some Dysamic Fighting Arts, all part of the SPEED System.

I rarely get an argument from anybody, not even so-called self defense for children experts, that bullying is one of the most common yet pernicious threats our children face, whether it be in the school environment or in their neighborhoods. Victims of consistent bullying suffer, in many cases, everlasting and relentless psychological damage. Ironically, bullies become victims of their own diseased world view. Over 43% of bullies are arrested for an assault-related crime by their 22^nd birthday and nearly 30% are busted for four or more crimes by their 30^th. Their victims are my only concern here, though, for the damage done to them runs deep and inexorable, and I believe that most catastrophic terrorism in our high schools, colleges and even workplaces in the last decade have been perpetrated by former and current victims of bully-violence (more in a future blog).

I BELIEVE parents (Safety Coaches) can teach their children the fundamental skills and strategies to escape and evade almost any threat offered by most (96 to 98%) of bullies. In this posting I will address skills a parent can inculcate in his or her children that will give the youngster the willingness and courage to destroy a bullies confidence and motivation for continuing the attack. In the next posting I will talk about the last resort fighting techniques I teach in my COMET-Kids (Combat Escape and Evasion Techniques for Kids/Parents) classes.

PART I: BULLY COUNTERMEASURES AND AVOIDANCE STRATEGIES.

1. Teach Your Child Self Confidence. Support and laud all behaviors your child displays that reinforce self- confidence. Self Confidence is your child’s First Line of Defense against bullies and other types of attacks, even from adult sexual predators and abductors. Encourage your child to fend for him or herself and/or act on his own in public (non-threatening) situations, so he or she can begin Acts Of Approximation of self-confidence. Remember: Neither bullies nor abductors want any part of a self-confident and vocal child. I have dealt with and interviewed thousands of strong-arm robbers, gang members, rapists and predators and invariably they are looking for a specific Victim Profile where the target:

Ø Looks Down or Averts his/her eyes.

Ø Is mild mannered, meek, and non-combative, revealed by “weak” body language.

Ø Is mostly silent or exhibits vocal dysfunctions, such as stammering, stuttering or a voice that is unclear and/or hardly audible.

Ø Exhibits “cowardly” hand gestures/easy to hit.

2. Teach Your Child To Breathe To Overcome the Devastating Affects Of Fear. Nine out of 10 victims of intimidation or assaults, Freeze immediately, and exacerbate that by holding their breath. This combination destroys both a young person’s ability and willingness to verbalize and/or escape and evade the threat. During Attack Scenarios at Home, execute various degrees of bullying, including the continuum that goes from disrespect to teasing, to testing, to threats and intimidation all the way to criminal assault. Teach your child to audibly expel breath and breathe rhythmically during the scenario.

3. Teach Your Child How To Mimic Courage. No joke. By breathing tactically and Positive Self Talks (a later posting), your youngster can begin the positive adrenal process that can actually make him stronger by 2 ½ Times.

4. Teach Your Child Positive Eye Contact: Stun the bully early in his approach by looking him either directly in the eyes or indirectly. Good eye contact can breach the confidence of a potential attacker. It also helps in mimicking courage.

5. Teach Your Child Strong Verbal Skills: Eighty percent of assaults are preceded by verbal threats and/or intimidation. It is part of the “toying and testing” strategies of a miscreant seeking the thrill and power of seeing (abject) fear in his victim. Ironically, most verbal (bully) strategies can be stopped dead in their tracks by your child’s verbal countermeasures.

Ø “John, I’m going to ask you to stop harassing me (combined with hands raised chest-high, palms down in a non-threatening posture).”

Ø “John, I’m telling you to stop pushing me, man.” (Hands up, palms turning toward the bully. Self Protective and prepared).

Ø “Step back, John. Do it now!” The intended-target senses that verbal strategies are not working. The bully is giving off body language that indicates an attack. The target’s instincts are also sending “Fight Senses.”

Ø The Target Child can adopt good de-escalation skills to defuse and discourage the bully. Self-deprecating phrases (Peace Phrases) can strip the bully’s words of any impact. Without Impact and Fear on the Target-Child, the Bully is stripped of his motivation for an attack (fear and power) and concomitantly, his words, the goal of which is intimidation and fear, are stripped of all power and impact:

· “I guess you are right, John. I am a dork. You gotta admit, though, man. I’m pretty good at it, huh?”

· (Distraction) “Man, where you get those kicks? They are pretty cool (when he looks down, you “Open The Door” with a quick balance displacement technique (See the next Blog) and escape and evade the threat.

· Humor.

Ø Target should take a quick step back and adopt a High Guard Fighting Stance when an attack is imminent. Footwork is crucial, so, if possible, the target should keep distance and keep moving diagonally (Do not, I repeat, Do Not, move straight back in a direct line! It is easy to trip over one’s own feet, plus, the child (Target) is much slower moving that way and he or she is easily overtaken by the attacker, and, more likely than not, the kid trying to move straight back will easily be knocked to the ground because he or she will be off-balance.

__________________________________________ _______________________

In the next posting: COMET-Kids Counter-Bully Self Defense Strategies.

Harry Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

The School Of Winology Blog Site

“‘Cause it’s a crazy, messed-up world out there-”

HELP YOUR CHILD BECOME A TOUGH-TARGET KID

By Harry The Hammer

I teach a couple novel and innovative Escape and Evasion courses for children.  Beyond the few dollars I pick up, I am very serious and motivated to help our youngsters develop awareness concerning sexual predators, abductors and others who would do them harm, if given the chance.  In my last blog I urged parents to become Courage Coaches, noting that any successful self defense for children program will fail without their active involvement (by the way, I do not consider my courses self defense courses.  They are much more).  I write this blog, then, with two premises in mind:

1.      If you are a parent and you are reading this, you are committed to protecting your child(ren) against dangerous people (including sexual predators, child abductors, kidnappers, bullies, et. Al.).

2.      You realize that no matter how well you coach your child(ren), you cannot be with them to and from school, in school, on the playground, and you know that even when they are “home,” there are those unguarded moments when they are playing outside wherethey are vulnerable, even with you mere feet away (as unbelievable as it seems, over 8 % of abducted children are snatched from inside the home, or from a front or back yard).

IT is with the latter premise in mind I suggest that parents (Courage Coaches) work with me to begin developing characteristics that will help make their precious children Tough Targets.  All children have what it takes to redefine themselves from easy victims to a child sex offenders and other miscreants tell me and other researchers that they would rather pass up for an easier target.

TOUGH TARGET KID (TTK) PROFILE

·         The TTK shows that he or she is aware and observant by keeping his/her head up and looking around.  The Easy Target Kid (ETK) is often selected because his or her head and eyes are down and the ETK is seen as meek and timid.  This can be taught through role plays and repetition.  In a kind and supportive way, remind your child when you catch him or her looking down.

·         The TTK has a confident walk, arms swinging easily, head up, eyes scanning.  The ETK has a restricted gait, eyes cast down.

·         The TTK looks confident and unintimidated, even when he or she feels intimidated.  This is a skill that can be taught.

·         The TTK Denies the Bad Guy Proximity.  Verbally and physically controls his/her space!  The ETK allows an adult to get inside his PSZ (Personal safe Zone) without protest.  TTK knows that distance is his allie.

·         The TTK actively watches adult who is watching him/her.  Watches cars “sharking” (driving back and forth constantly) where he/she is. 

·         The TTK has been coached and given drills (by a Courage Coach or an instructor) on Tactical Breathing.  The TTK always breathes to alleviate the

 inevitable fear that can debilitate and freeze a child.  Breathing promotes the flow of oxygenated blood to the neo-cortex, the “Thinking Brain,” which allows the TTK to activate his or her Action Plan.

Ø     Runs to a pre-designated “safe spot (which he/she will know because the TTK was aware enough to plan ahead).”  The ETK has no plan, and, therefore, no “Safe Spot” to run to.  The ETK almost always freezes.

Ø     If that is not a good option, the TTK makes a lot of noise, acts “crazy,” runs away in a zig zag fashion, throwing objects at the Bad Guy’s feet (”Destroying the Environment”).  Almost all would-be child abductors tell us the “last thing we are looking for is a noisy, crazy kid—”

_____________________ ________________________________________ ________________________

In the next Winology Blog:  Survival Games To Play With Your Child.

Small Children Need Parents To Be “Courage Coaches” More Now Than Ever Before

The 5th in a 6 Part Back To School

Special Survival Skills Series.

IN THIS, the 5th article in a 6-part Back To School Special, we will talk a bit about parents and guardians taking the role of Courage Coaches and inculcating fundamental and life-preserving Escape and Evasion skills and strategies against potential and real sex predators and child abductors. In the next (8th) posting we will address parents imbedding crucial Counter-Bullying Strategies for their children, be they small or teenager.

PARENTS WHO EMBRACE this crucial role will most likely be teaching the same skills and strategies I teach in my S.T.I.C.K. (Survival Techniques and Intervention Concepts for Kids/Parents) Programs, but because they are loving parents and with the children during almost every aspect of their young lives, the impact of the lessons will be that much greater (than what I can teach in a couple 2-hour classes). Also - and this is so important - for children these lessons, techniques and role plays I advocate will be frightening and scary for most children. But with good, concerned and committed parents literally at their sides, it will be only a matter of gentle persistence by their Courage Coach until the child(ren) begin to learn and actually have fun with the drills and exercises I advocate.

HOW CAN I BECOME A COURAGE COACH FOR MY KIDS?

1. Work closely with your child(ren).
2. Be Open and Accepting of All Input (Not Judgmental).
3. Encourage child(ren) to discuss all relevant events, feelings, fears, etc.

4. Maintain and support a Family Defense Plan (FDP).
5. Be Very Supportive of Child(ren) when he or she reports an experience with stranger or bully. Praise is crucial.
6. Play the “What if? Game.” Discuss different scenarios with child(ren), suggest possible troublesome scenarios and ask “What would you do, if—?” Be supportive of all answers. Give suggestions to possible resolutions.
7. Role Play Games. Courage Coaches should do their level best to make whatever games you play to make these games as much fun as possible, but also to make them crucial learning experiences.
8. Fighting Arts Games: A friend of mine, who is also a Mixed Martial Arts Fighter, teaches his children through Fun Fighting Games. In one game he uses a blue training mat on a red rug and the blue mat is the “Monster Mat.” The key is the monster mat is where the child knows he has to fight, etc.
9. Encourage Child(ren) to Trust Gut Instincts. Fact is, at an early age your child’s instincts have already developed. Matter of fact, children have not yet learned to distrust their feelings, like many adults. Encourage, then, your child(ren) that, when he or she gets The Creeps around an adult or another child, even if that adult or child is a family member, that he or she should (be given permission to) either move away/run from that person(s), or, at the very least should not be made to hug or kiss that person (”Jonny, what’s wrong with you? C’mon now, give Uncle Tom a big hug and kiss before he leaves.”)
10. DISCUSS WITH CHILD(REN) “YES, MAYBE AND NO PEOPLE.” Parents need to have this conversation with their children: Who exactly are “Yes People:” those people who are absolutely safe for the child to allow into their PSZ (Personal Safe Zone- inside of 2 feet). “Maybe People” are those who may be trusted, but, if the child “gets the creeps,” or the child observes behavior that concerns him or her (unwanted touching, etc.), the child has permission to scream “No!” and run. If the “Maybe Person” is safe, he or she will understand when the parent later explains his or her child’s behavior. If the “Maybe Person” is dangerous, the child is till alive and at home to talk about it at your next session. “No People” are anyone the child does not know. The Golden Rule: Under no circumstances will you allow a Stranger to move inside your PSZ (”Protect Your Space”).
11. TEACH AND ROLE PLAY THE FIGHTING ARTS (WINOLOGY): Work with your child a couple times a week on the basic fighting skills. Included in this panoply of skills are: Run without turning your back on the attacker/Run in a Zig Zag Pattern, using Barriers in the environment/Throw things at the Bad Guy’s feet/if grabbed, scream “Help, he is not my daddy!” and twist, turn, drop and grab at the attacker so he is delayed in the initial crime scene (an abductor’s greatest friend is speed. He needs to get in and get out before he is caught). Grab an object (your bike, your bed, a post, his legs and/or ankles), curl up and keep your head tucked in.

12. SORRY. THERE IS SOOOO MUCH MORE, BUT WE ARE OUT OF SPACE: In a future blog posting I will discuss actual fighting skills and strategies. There, unfortunately is no more space here.

The 4^th In a Series of 6 “Back To School” Survival
Strategies Postings

By Harry The Hammer

In the 3^rd Survival Skills article in this Back To School Special
Series, I noted that many sexual assaults against women students are prceded
by and/or accompanied by unrelenting stalking. Although, of course, there are
cases where stalking does not end in sexual assault, too many do for The School
Of Winology not to issue its Survival Strategies Designed
To Stop the Predatory Stalker Dead In His Tracks:

1. SAY “NO!” AND REALLY MEAN IT WHEN “STALKER” CALLS/APPROACHED
   YOU.
2. MAKE REJECTION FINAL AND QUICK. MAKE IT CLEAR YOU
   DO NOT WANT TO SEE HIM, BECAUSE OF HIS ACTIONS, NOT BECAUSE
   OF ANOTHER MAN (Any stalker worth his psychosis will think “Gee,
   all I gotta do is get him out of the picture and she’ll see me.”).
3. REPORT ANY SUBSEQUENT HARASSMENT, STALKING, ETC. TO CAMPUS SECURITY AND/OR
   POLICE.
4. IF CLEAR REJECTION AND REPORTING HIM FAILS, MAKE IT HARDER FOR HIM TO CONTACT
   YOU (change phone number; change routes to and from class and try to be
   accompanied by friends when waling the campus, etc.).
5. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.
6. NEVER NEGOTIATE. IT’S OVER. SAY “NO. IT’S OVER.” ONCE.
   EXPLICITLY! (Every time a woman gives in, even if she doesn’t respond to 40
   phone messages and hundreds of e-mails, but finally picks up the phone to
   talk, even though she still says, “Like I said before, John, it’s over and
   I mean it,” the only thing predatory stalker learns is the lesson that it
   requires 40 phone messages and 100 e-mails to get you to respond to him.
7. ADOPT A HARD TARGET ATTITUDE. A nice woman wants to let
   the stalker down easy. A Stalker Cannot Be Dealt With Nicely! Break
   Up the Hard Target Way: “John, I do not want to be in a relationship
   with you.”
8. HARD TARGET AXIOM: THE BEST WAY TO STOP CONTACT IS TO STOP CONTACT.
9. IF AND WHEN TRACKED BY THE STALKER, DECIDE RIGHT THEN AND THERE
   WHAT TO DO IF STALKER DOES NOT RESPECT YOUR WISHES TO BE LEFT ALONE.
10. IF STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF IS YOUR CHOICE:
    • HAVE APLAN A AND PLAN B (FAILURE PLAN).
    • BE OBSERVANT. KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES: ESCAPE ROUTES;
      BARRICADES IN THE ENVIRONMENT YOU CAN USE TO KEEP DISTANCE/ESCAPE.
    • ASSUME A FIGHTING STANCE.
    • USE THE ELEMENTS OF SURPRISE.
    • USE THE STALKER’S FIRST TOUCH AS A TRIGGER TO “EXPLODE” INTO HIS
      CENTER-LINE TARGETS. BREATHE FOR POWER AND CONTROL.
    • IF BAD GUY GRABS YOU HIGH, MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT TO LURE HIM INTO
      “SINGULARITY OF FOCUS” AND SURPRISE HIM BY GOING LOW.
    • HIT SECONDARY TARGETS/OPEN UP PRIMARY TARGETS (GROIN, EYES, THROAT).
    • DENY THE STALKER PRIVACY. WHAT HE WANTS MOST
      IS TO MOVE YOU FROM THIS INITIAL LOCATION TO A SECONDARY OR PRIVATE
      (CRIME) SCENE WHERE HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS FOR HOWEVER LONG HE
      WANTS WITHOUT FEAR OF WITNESSES. OBEY THE GOLDEN RULE OF SURIVAL: DO
      NOT GO WITH HIM! DO NOT GET INTO HIS CAR! DO NOT TAKE HIM TO YOUR PRIVATE
      LOCALE, ETC. IF STALKER DOES FORCE YOU OR FOLLOW YOU TO
      A PRIVATE PLACE, DESTROY THAT ENVIROMENT SO
      THERE IS NO MISTAKE TO POLICE OR WITNESSES THAT YOU WERE COMPLIANT.
      THIS MAY CAUSE HIM TO WITHDRAW.
    • AND PLEASE, IF THE STALKER TRIES TO HURT YOU, LIGHT
      THE FUSE, AND HIT HIM IN AS MANY VULNERABLE TARGETS AS MANY TIMES AS
      IT TAKES TO WIN THE FIGHT. HIT HIM WITH—
      • Head Butts *front and back of temple).
      • Finger Gouges (Yep. Gouge his eyes).
      • Elbows, the hardest personal weapons you have.
      • Heels of your palms.
      • Knees.
      • Shins.
      • Feet.
      • Bite him. Tear him up.
      • Improvised Weapons (cell phone, remote control, spatula; travel
        mug, paperback/hardback books, snow scraper. Damned near anything
        can be a weapon.

Contact Harry The Hammer thru this site if you have any questions
regarding strategies, terminology, etc. The Hammer will be delighted to provide
you with amplification and tips regarding actual Fighting Arts techniques of
survival.
484-542-0040 Cell. 610-253-3666 (H/Office) harrywigder@rcn.com

Technorati Tags:violence against women, self defense for women, crime against women

THE 3^rd Of a Six-Part Back To SchoolSurvival Skills Winology Series

By Harry The Hammer

10 WINOLOGY SURVIVAL TIPS

1. MAKE YOURSELF INTO A HARD TARGET.
   • ADOPT AN ASSERTIVE PERSONALITY.
   • PROTEST INVASION OF SPACE, PRIVACY, AND YOUR SELF RESPECT IMMEDIATELY AND WITH VIGOR.
   • ADOPT A CONFIDENT, RELAXED AND VIGILANT STANCE AND WALKING STYLE.
   • EYEBALL SUSPICIOUS MALES AND LET THOSE WHOM YOU KNOW THAT YOU TAKE NO CRAP.
   • FORCE YOURSELF TO BE MORE AWARE WHEN GOING IN, COMING OUT OF ALL LOCALES.
2. ADOPT THE BUDDY SYSTEM.
   • REDUCES CHANCE OF ASSAULT BY OVER 75%.
   • INCREASE CONFIDENCE.

3. MAKE THE 4 A’S A PART OF YOUR LIFESTYLE (ASSESS/AWARE/ANTICIPATE/TAKE ACTION).
4. INCULCATE A “BAD ATTITUDE.”

(WE ARE ALL HIRED-WIRED FOR VIOLENCE. YOU NEED TO LIBERATE IT. LITE THE FUSE. THE ABILITY TO LITE THE FUSE IS PRICELESS WHEN YOUR LIFE, SEXUALITY, FREEDOM AND WELL-BEING IS ON THE LINE! WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR SAFETY AND SELF DEFENSE, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!

5. TRUST MINIMALLY. FORCE THOSE YOU KNOW TO EARN YOUR TRUST (SELF-RESPECT AND PART OF BEING A HARD TARGET).
6. BE AWARE OF TIMES OF VULNERABILITY AND DEVELOP AN ESCAPE AND EVASION STRATEGY.
   • When at parties where alcohol, drugs, etc. are available.
   • When on a date.
   • When invited to a man’s apartment, or when a date asks if he can go with you to yours.
   • When alone.
7. “DESTROY THE ENVIRONMENT” WHEN NECESSARY.
   • If attacked in an isolated room, apartment, car, et al., an attacker may tell you that no one will believe you because “you invited me here, Bitch.”
   • Ruin his Fantasy Script by throwing objects, screaming, breaking objects, making sure that he (the attacker) knows that there is no doubt (to police and/or passer-by’s) that this is a crime scene!
8. WHEN THE ATTACK COMES, THE CHOICE TO FIGHT OR GIVE IN IS ALWAYS YOURS, BUT KNOW THIS:
   • Over 92% of the women who survived an attack, sometimes without injury, had verbally and physically fought their attacker!
   • It is a rare male student or even non-student who really wants to fight you. They intend to win through intimidation. When he is challenged verbally, physically, even with simple challenging body language, more often than not, he will not attack, or, if the attack has started, will lose heart.
9. ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN. THOSE WITHOUT A PLAN WILL ALWAYS FREEZE AND PANIC.
   • Plan what to say when tested.
   • An Escape Route.
   • A “Fight Plan.” Spinal Tune your mind and body that, if necessary, you will use Surprise Moves, hit open targets, etc.
   • Remind Yourself to Breathe if grabbed.
   • Spinal Tune Yourself to Explode with strikes when First-Touched.
10. TAKE A SELF DEFENSE COURSE and/or PRACTICE SELF DEFENSE WITH A (STUDY) GROUP OF COEDS.

NOTE: There are an almost endless panoply of survival strategies and skills that I will discuss over the coming months, not to mention the scores of effective Fighting Arts I include in any one of my self defense programs. However, this is a finite venue, so I must cut this discussion off at this point. Any reader who wishes handouts, tips, etc. on this or other survival issues, please contact me at this site.

Technorati Tags:survival strategies for woman, crime against women, self defense, college crimes, college safety

The Second of a 6-Part Back To
School Survival Series.
By Harry “The Hammer” Wigder

TODAY’S COLLEGE CAMPUSES hold the largest concentration of young women who are at far greater risk for rape and other pernicious forms of sexual assault than women elsewhere. On campuses holding 10,000 women, there are an average of 350 rapes @ year. Many more rapes go unreported for various reasons, including the attitudes of the victims, which perpetrates the problem in the first place (embarrassment regarding how they became victims in the first place/drugs, alcohol, perhaps allowing an initial sexual advances, etc.). Many women come in contact with men in a variety of circumstances during the night and day. Add an endless amount of stimulants in what for many is their first time away from home and you have a volatile atmosphere where almost anything bad can happen.

This is a limited venue, so let’s explore a few of the dangers faced by young women on today’s campuses and follow that up with 10 Principles of Survival.

Signatures Of Danger On Today’s College Campus

1. Great Majority of Sexual Assaults in the evening – after midnight, most off-campus, 9 out of 10 instigated by men whom they know

2. Great majority of sexual assaults are accomplished through intimidation by the attacker and met with little or no physical or verbal resistance.
3. Consistently, from one study to the next, the Victims shared these Factors:

Ø Drinking and Drunkenness.

Ø Being single or alone at time of assault.

Ø Being a previous victim prior to school year.

Ø Living On Campus.

Ø Little or no Self Defense (For Women) Training or Education.

4. Stalking usually precedes or accompanies the sexual assault (165@1000 women students stalked in an average school year). There will be much more on Stalker Characteristics, Danger Signs, etc. in future postings.

First In-First Out: A consistent theme for attacks is that, when spontaneous assaults go down, the stalker chooses an instant when the coed in first going into a location or first coming out. These are moments when the victim is most distracted or least aware. The Stalker is a sly opportunist.

Technorati Tags:crimes against women, violence against women, violence prevention, campus violence, college violence, women

SURVIVAL SKILLS FOR WOMEN ON TODAY’S VIOLENT CAMPUS

IT is Labor Day and soon all elementary, high school and college campuses will be teeming with children, teens, and young adults. This, then, will be the first of 6 postings, each one of which will address one or more of the many crucial areas of survival and safety skills for students of all ages. This inaugural posting will deal with Fighting Arts (Winology) for Women on our modern college campuses.

STEP #1: BE A TOUGH TARGET AND GRADUATE THE SCHOOL OF WINOLOGY.

THERE is nothing hard about making yourself into a Tough Target. It is simple; it is doable, and yet it is probably the most crucial step you can take to defeat a potential attacker.

Ø What do I mean by a Hard (or Tough) Target? Simply and concisely put, a Tough Target is a person (a “TT” can be a male or female child, teen, adult or a senior citizen) who emits strong signals, either through body and/or verbal language, stance, the way he or she carries him or herself, that communicates to a predator that he or she will not be an easy mark, free lunch, or a path of least resistance. Since the great majority of attackers do not wish to fight and are looking for an easy mark, in 98% of cases, the Bad Guy will not even try to test the Tough Target.

How do I become a Hard or Tough) Target? You can check out most of my past and future blogs and learn about the 4 A’s (Awareness, Assessment, Anticipation and Action), body language, etc. I advocate cultivating an Assertive Personality and work, if you have to, at being determined to walk with confidence (even if you don’t feel confident), sweep your surroundings with your eyes, and to resist “testing (the predator may ask you a question, try to flick (imaginary) dandruff off your shoulder, will try to enter your Personal Safety Zone (within 2 to 3 feet) without invitation. The campus social or date rapist, or worse, the pure predator, is looking for a student with a Passive Personality who appears distracted, unobservant, her head down, eyes diverted, feet close together. When “Tested,” the Passive woman does not protest, may not verbalize at all. She is actually defeated before the attack even begins. Many potential rapist will avoid the Aggressive (Personality/AP), who strides with her head up, makes direct and challenging eye-to-eye contact and goes ballistic verbally, using vile and depreciated language at the potential attacker. Ironically, though, this (Aggressive Personality) woman will often humiliate and challenge the potential attacker to such a degree that some men/boys have attacked this type woman because she has escalated his emotions, “raised the stakes,” and compromised his manhood.

Ø Profile the Bad Guy: Check out past and future postings for more on how to profile a possible attacker.

Ø Trust Your Gut Feelings: Your instincts represent about 250 million years of evolution making the hair on the back of your neck stand up, an Inner Voice screaming out at you to “Quick, get the hell out of here!” Your instincts are hardly ever wrong. Trust them.

Ø First In/First out: Bad guys have an attack philosophy and First In/First Out is it. They will often attack when you are first going in to a place or when you are first coming out. That is when your guard is down.

Ø BREATHE DON’T SCREAM: Nine out of ten people freeze when first attacked. They do not breathe, and, therefore, there is no oxygenated blood flowing to their brains. Can’t think. Can’t talk. Can’t survive!

Ø Verbalize and Control Your Space: Tough Targets always have something to say, start to plan what to say and do when they first notice they are being watched. Nobody is allowed to enter their Personal safety Zone (PSZ) without a fight.

NEXT BLOG POSTING: Everything you need to know about campus dangers. Date Attacks, Alcohol related situations and excellent Escape and Evasion Techniques.

Technorati Tags:school violence, violence against women, survival skills, women safety