ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

October 15, 2009

Escape and Evade the Child Predator Damn Near Every Time. PART I.

It’s what I do. Study depressing statistics and the tactical trends of violence and I design trainings to somehow neutralize the threat. One person at a time. Or, if I’m lucky, one small class of people at a time. Suffice it to say that the statistics – and trends – behind child abductions in the United States is staggering. Something like 400,000 children a year. 1000 kids a day. Gone.

The National Center for Missing Children suggests that once a child is abducted by a predator (as opposed to a family member in a custody battle), we have a very short window to save the abducted child. It also suggests that a plan of action and good information are a family’s best defense against losing a child to an abductor. Moreover, the National Center for Missing and Abducted Children studied 403 attempted kidnappings from February, 2005 to July, 2006 and discovered a ray of hope for concerned parents. Children who fought their attacker had a 60% chance of escaping their abductor and about 10% of the children who were attacked were able to escape their abductor “when an adult or another child just happened by—“

The implications for a practical Escape and Evasion Survival System – at least to me – are undeniable. What children really need is a self defense training system that:

v Can be learned quickly.

v Is retainable.

v Is easy to perform under high survival stress situations.

v Can be taught at home or in school by a parent, guardian and/or teacher.

Hello. How about my CAT (Counter Abduction Technique) training program?

CAT Design. Simply and briefly put, CAT is designed around the Tactical Trends or scheme of the sexual predator. Through ardent research and personal experience (as a Pa. State Parole Officer), I know that the predator depends on several factors to allow him to abduct his prey:

v The universal sweetness of children, who are socialized to trust and believe all adults.

v The timidity of his prey.

v Silence or a lack of disturbance of the environment by the victim/child, thereby lacking any ability to alert witnesses.

v The readiness of nearby adults to believe an adult over a child.

v The removal of the victim/child from the Initial Crime Scene, which is usually a high-witness area, to a pre-planned isolated Secondary Crime Scene where the predator will be able to do whatever he wishes to do to the child for as long as he wishes without any possible interference.

v And, above all else, the predator depends upon and relies upon the element of speed. It is crucial to the abductor that he is able to take the child with the least amount of notice as quickly as possible before another child, adult, or the police can intervene.

CAT TECHNIQUES & TACTICS , therefore, teaches and promotes strategies that will transform an ideal victim/child into a Tough Target Child. Simply put, the TTC will be taught by his/her instructor or parents (Safety Coaches) to always do the following, which, by the way, is easy to teach and easy to do:

v BREATHE, TALK AND MOVE. The predator almost always chooses victims who are quiet, timid and still. Nine out of 10 victims, whether they be children or adults, FREEZE AT FIRST TOUCH. Teach your child to be a Tough Target who uses First Touch as a trigger to explode into action. I teach children to quickly swing their arms and hands toward their head – as if they were Elvis combing his hair – to escape the inevitable arm grab and then step and move away and shout at the abductor. If there are others in the area, shout “Hey, this guy is not my father!” Children should also make direct eye contact with the predator so he knows the child knows what he is up to. Many will break off the attack and move on at this point.  As for breathing, 9 out of 10 who freeze when first attacked will ALSO HOLD THEIR BREATH!  Doing that assures that no oxygenated blood will reach the brain or the Central Nervous System.  Result:  A child who resembles a frozen rabbit.  In other words, an ideal victim!

v ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR SPACE. I use a Hula Hoop during the early phase of my CAT or Kid Escape classes. Kids love hula hoops, and, of course, asking them to hold a hula hoop around their waist is a non-threatening way to define the radius of their Personal Safety Zone (have your child hold the hoop tight against their back side and study the space created by the hula hoop in front of them). I tell them that they should allow no adult, save for those on their Gold List inside that PSZ. Safety Coaches can run role play scenarios with the child and teach them what to do if and when a non-Gold Lister attempts to enter their space without his or her permission.

Ø J-Step Away.

Ø Ste-Slide Away, recreating their space.

Ø Place an environmental barricade between him/her (the child) and the adult.

· DISENGAGE, IF POSSIBLE. Safety Coaches must teach their children to be observant, To notice adult/strangers who do not seem to belong on the scene, who appear to be paying too much attention to the child. Being observant will also trigger the child’s Gut Instincts, better known to children as “The Creeps.” Advise your child to always trust those feelings. At your child’s

· earliest opportunity he/she should put as much distance between himself and the adult as possible. How, you might ask?

Ø Always try to remain in the company of at least one other child. Two children have an 80% less of a chance of being abducted.

Ø Run in a zig zag, or serpentine fashion.

Ø Destroy the Environment. Throw object at the Bad Guy’s feet, knock objects over. Try to draw attention to yourself. Make a scene.

Ø Try not to turn your back on the adult. Turning your back triggers the Predator instinct in the abductor and he will catch you. Keep your eye on him and run sideways.

BY ALL MEANS, THE KEY TO INFLUENCING THE MOLESTOR TO BREAK OFF HIS ATTACK IS TO REFUSE TO LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH HIM AND TO MAKE HIM SPEND MORE TIME THAN HE WOULD LIKE IN THAT INITIAL CRIME SCENE!

More on delaying the Bad Guy at the Scene in the next post.

Stay safe until then.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 28, 2009

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE(WPV) – WHAT TO DO?

A couple posts back I promised to talk about what to do if ever you are caught in a volatile workplace scenario where it is apparent either a patient, resident, client, or co-worker is about to perpetrate some serious hurt on you or another worker.

First of all, there are basically four types of WPV:

1) Violence at the hands of patients/clients.

2) Violence Associated with robbery and other crimes.

3) Domestic Violence that spills over into the workplace.

4) Violence among co-workers and managers.

In any of these cases, when you feel there is a threat of violence – and here I am mostly talking Domestic Violence Spillover; Violence at the hands of clients and Violence among workers – do your best to report your feelings and observations to superiors at the site. My research shows that over 85% of WPV could have been prevented if reported. Of course, often events and observations go unreported because the workplace has either a poor reputation for investigating complaints fairly (and for keeping whistle-blowers anonymous), or no capability.

COUNTER-WPV STRATEGIES

There are 4 stages of WPV, each ascending stage more dangerous than the preceding stage. WPV ranges from shouting obscenities to mass murder. Therefore, when I allude to Counter WPV Strategies, I am referring to strategies against Stage 4 Type WPV (Simple Assault; Aggravated Assault; Sexual Assault; Rape; Active Shooter in the Workplace; etc.).

v TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You wouldn’t ignore a Smoke Detector or a Fire Alarm, would you? When you get that feeling that something is wrong, there is.

v HAVE A WPV PLAN. If you are lucky, you have a forward-thinking employer, who not only has a (Natural) Disaster Plan, a Fire-Escape Plan, but has a plan for Violence in the WP, too, including:

Ø A WPV Chain Of Command.

Ø An Assigned Laison with police.

Ø All employees must know how and when to contact Security and/or the Pre-Assigned Chain Of Command in an emergency.

Ø A Communication System to alert workers.

Ø A Lockdown and/or Evacuation Plan.

· HAVE YOUR OWN WPV PLAN. Seriously, with violence in the WP growing at exponential rates, you should have a Personal Safety Strategy, including, but not limited to answers to the following crucial questions:

Ø What can I use as an improvised weapon to protect me at my job site?

Ø Do I know where the alarms are? Do I know the Chain of Command and how to contact Security?

Ø What items at my site could a perpetrator use as a weapon against me?

Ø Is my work site (desk, etc.) situated so that I can escape, or am I trapped here?

O CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Use your environment to control your space. Prevent the Bad Guy from entering your PSZ (Personal safety Zone).  Use barricades, such as desks, chairs, AV equipment, waste cans, et al, to gain distance from the perpetrator, or to throw at him to delay his or her approach.

v STRENGTH IN NUMBERS. If possible, call on others whom you trust to gather with you against the perpetrator.

AND, IF YOU ARE THINKING, WELL, GOSH, THESE SUGGESTIONS ARE COMMON SENSE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS, JUST ALLOW ME TO SAY THAT, IN A CRISIS THE RAREST COMMODITY IS COMMON SENSE! IT IS BEST TO THINK AHEAD. ALWAYS!

STAY SAFE.

HAMMER

The theme here is that – as bad as things may look – it aint over ‘til it’s over. The bedroom attacker may make a mistake – many of them do – caused by overconfidence, or you might – if you keep your mind clear (not an easy thing to do) – find an opening that can set you free.

BEDROOM SURPRISE, PART II

September 27, 2009

In my last post I talked of a situation where the Bad Guy is sitting atop his victim’s chest, his knees painfully pinning her arms, then, apparently seizing the moment when she stops struggling, he pauses to unzip his trousers anticipating oral sex. When the attacker does this – and this is something I hope you remember – he is compromising his balance and is most vulnerable to any kind of rapid balance displacement move on your part.

Roll the Bad Guy off using the following steps:

1) TRAP the foot on the side you intend to throw the attacker by placing your weakside foot on the outside of his foot (Posting or Trapping).

2) Slide your opposite foot inward until it is just below the attacker’s buttocks, Your thigh should be touching his rear end and the sole of that foot should be flat on the deck.

3) Reach up with the hand on the opposite side as the Bad Guy’s trapped foot and grab him by the shirt.

4) Simultaneously and powerfully as you can, drive your butt in the air (bridge) and push hard with the leg and foot that you had slid close to his buttocks (heel flat on the ground) in order to propel the Bad Guy off of you. At the same time, pull the hand that has hold of his shirt in the direction you wish him to roll.

5) Imagine that your butt is lifting up and driving your navel or belt buckle directly into the mattress.

6) Never give up. Use all your power. You can do it.

7) Once the attacker is off of you, strike him with whatever personal weapon (bite, gouge, knee him, kick him, drive the heel of your foot into his face) you have and get out of Dodge.

One note: As always, it is up to you if and how you do this. You can wait until he is distracted by un-zippering, or you can play into his plans by acting like you are giving up and will do what he wants. Women /girls have waited until the attacker actually had his member out and was starting to move it toward the victim’s mouth when they made their move. It was the last thing the Bad Guy expected!

Another escape I often teach features the attacker crawling up and attempting to get inside the woman’s legs. I actually advocate the woman spreading her legs – which is what the Bad Guy wants. Once he is inside and puts her in a choke hold, I teach women to latch onto both hands and not let go, while, simultaneously kicking the attacker in the ribs and back of the head with her legs and feet. I then teach the intended victim to “shrimp up” to gain distance from the attacker so she can drive both of her heels into his hips. Now, simultaneously hold onto the hands and drive the feet into the subject, and, then, while still holding onto his hands drive both feet hard into his face. Escape.

Stay safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 26, 2009

BEDROOM SURPRISE

Ever ask yourself what would I do if ever I was attacked while I was asleep? I get the question a lot at my Survival Skills for Women classes. I get a lot of questions about darn near every conceivable type of attack under every situation possible, and some that are not possible. I’ll get to some of those other questions in future posts, but, for now, I thought I’d wax on about what you might if ever you were attacked in bed.

Once again, I’m going to ask you to rely on a cluster of dependable and effective principles rather than specific techniques that you would have to dredge up from your subconscious while some creep is pinning you down and your heart rate is spiking through the roof as the result of survival stress.

These Principles are simple and there aren’t too many of them. They are the same for just about any type of attack, including the bedroom assault.

v Breathe Tactically. Most victims in this situation hold their breath and say nothing, which to the attacker is like an engraved invitation to have fun, do whatever you wish to me.

v Do Something. Never Freeze.

v Say Something. Freezing and staying mute in the face of a life and death attack empowers the villain and disempowers you! “Get back!”

v Hit An Open Target. It’s damned near Natural Law. At least one of the 3 or 4 vital targets will be open. Hit it hard and others will pop open.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. TURN HIS EXPECTATION AGAINST HIM!

Hold the phone. You say, “well, that’s all fine and dandy, but, you see, I will almost always be under my sheet and blanket. It is likely that I will not be able to use my hands.

Good point. Here’s another point: If you are unable to use your personal weapons now, understand that at some point in this ordeal, the Bad Guy must let down his defenses, which is exactly when you can and must strike!

If the attacker is there simply to pound you and nothing else, you are in serious doo-doo, if your arms are pinned (domestic violence), I admit that. But, in the scenario of a rapist who is attacking you in your bed, more likely than not, he will eventually pull down the covers in order to do what it is he came to do. When he pulls the sheets away, it is your time to deliver the Bedroom Surprise.

Ok, lets assume now the covers are off and your hands and feet are free.

ASSAULTS AND ESCAPES

v Bad Guy is standing at the side of your bed. You awake. Raise the leg on the side where the assailant is standing. This will prevent him – believe it or not – from climbing on top of you. Two things to consider here:

(1) None of his targets are available to you. They may be open, but there is no way you can hit them.

(2) However, in order to harm you, he must get closer to you. If and when he bends to choke you, his eyes are now within your reach. Quickly drive the closest hand into his eyes. If you hit them, he will recoil, I guarantee it. When he does that, either dive off the bed in the other direction, or, better yet, roll off toward him and knee him in the groin and keep hitting him until you can escape safely.

v Bad Guy is sitting on your chest and he has both your hands pinned above your head. You might say to yourself, I am truly screwed here. Cannot blame you one iota because this is a very hard attack to escape, especially when you lack upper body strength. A good thing to remember is the Bad Guy expects you to try to escape by pushing him off of you. It is important that you use the element of surprise here, though.

(1) Bend both your legs bringing them right up close so that your thighs are against his buttocks, making sure to keep both heels flat on the deck. The crucial move is to distract the attacker by biting him or kicking him and then jerking your hands quickly so that both hands are now even with your shoulders.

(2) Either Pretend to give up, or throw him off.

NOTE: Think about this. Both of the Bad Guy’s hands are tied up, as are yours. This is a stand-off. Women have escaped this situation by crying and saying “I give up,” at which time the attacker loosened his grip and reached to unzip his fly. It is at that very second that he is most off-balance and thrusting him off of you is most easily accomplished).

(3) To throw him off, simultaneously power both arms down toward your sides and thrust your hips/buttocks straight up and then roll so that your navel or belt buckle is driven directly into the ground.

v BAD GUY SITS ON YOUR CHEST, PINNING BOTH ARMS WITH INSIDE OF KNEES. The Bad Guy may try to force you into performing oral sex. This is actually a vulnerable situation the Bad Guy has placed himself in. Instantaneously raise your buttocks off the bed and anchor both heels to the inside of his shoulders. Now pull him backwards by driving your legs back.

Next: More Bedroom Escapes.

Hammer

FOILING THAT EVIL MOTHER FUGGER, PART II SPINAL TUNING.

Axiomatic it is that 95 to 98% of successful self defense for women is mental preparation. The key is, of course, not to find yourself in a situation where you must fight for your life (this goes for men and children, also). So, how can you go about preparing yourself mentally? And, if you are able to achieve the Psyche of Survival, or, as I like to call it – Mental Conditioning – how do you prepare yourself physically?

Allow me to answer my second question first. Once you achieve true Mental Conditioning, you concomitantly achieve Physical Readiness through a phenomenon experts call Spinal Tuning. Spinal Tuning is the result of the crucial nexus between the mind and the body. They are inseparable.

Preparing yourself mentally comes down to establishing the appropriate state of mind. I like using colors in my trainings to describe the potential victim’s states of mind in various situations. For instance:

• THE WHITE STATE OF MIND is a total tactically lack of awareness. This is the correct state of mind when one is in the safety of one’s home, perhaps playing with his or her children, watching television, etc.
• THE YELLOW STATE OF MIND is a state of 180 degree awareness. Simply put, in this state one is aware of who and what surrounds him or her. It is a relaxed state of awareness. In the case of a woman at home in a White State of Mind playing with her children, she must transition to the Yellow State when the doorbell rings, even though she may have ordered pizza to be delivered. A woman in Yellow is in a relaxed state of surveillance, so she peeks through the window before answering the door and verbally asks the deliveryman to identify himself. Concomitant with being mentally alert is the message sent by the Neo Cortex through the spine to the body’s motor functions.
• THE ORANGE STATE OF MIND is a state of specific alertness. In Yellow, a woman noticed something or someone that may threaten her safety. She now transitions to an Orange State of Mind where her Neo Cortex (Intelligent Brain) analyzes and evaluates the potential threat and then formulates a counter-strategy. Our potential victim now has a specific plan that, if required, can be downloaded to the body to carry out a physical action. I probably should note that the Evil Mother Fugger is always in an Orange State of Mind when he is on the stalk.
• THE RED STATE OF MIND is the required state of mind for action. Whatever the woman noted in Orange that could go wrong has gone down! The mind and body is pre-armed for action, even if it simply getting the hell out of there, and the woman is able to act.
• THE BLACK STATE OF MIND/THE CATASTROPHE THEORY! What has happened here is that the woman who answered her door in a White State of Mind never transitioned into Yellow. She has allowed herself to be the Perfect Victim that every sexual predator is searching for. In White, the victim assumes the visitor is exactly that – a friendly visitor. In the great majority of occurrences, she is right. Over 99% of the people who come to her door are friendly. So, over time, she has conditioned herself to expect passivity from those who approach her. When, however, a woman/person in White is surprised by a sudden, spontaneous and close quarter attack, the Neo Cortex shuts down and the Primitive Brain takes over. The mind desperately attempts to go to the Red State of Mind, but it cannot. It over shoots Yellow; it bypasses Orange and it fires right by Red and goes ricocheting through space until it vanishes inside a veritable Black Hole!
• THE CATASTROPHE. When your mind fails to hit Red, it goes figuratively to Black. What that means to a woman who has been grabbed by a stranger at her front door is that the mind and body shut down, or black out. Experts know this as the Catastrophe Theory, which translates in reality to the woman:

Ø Freezing In Place. Paralyzed.

Ø Unable To Speak (and warn her children who are in the house).

Ø Executing A Victim’s Physical Countermeasure. Freeze in place; begs for mercy; screams like a victim; runs aimlessly; unable to think of escape routes or a fighting strategy. When she does strike, she slaps without aim, intent, or power!  Worse, after a few seconds, she gives up and allows the evil mother fugger to do with her what he wishes.

Ø In other words, the Catastrophe Theory means the “bottom falls out!

So, stay in yellow when appropriate. Stay out of White.

Until next time, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

August 31, 2009

FOILING THE EVIL MOTHER FUGGER

It’s been a while since I last posted here, but I’ve been gone. Training out West. And, before I head off to Chicago, Cape May and Ocean City, Maryland, I thought I’d get me a couple posts in, if for no other reason than to keep myself in The Game.

I remember correctly, in my last post I went on a rant against Evil Mother Fuggers because I was in a rage over some Chicken Hawk marking, stalking, and putting an innocent young girl in the bottom of one of our lakes in the Poconos.

These miscreants dedicate and commit countless hours plotting ways to get these young boys and girls and women into their clutches. So, it makes almost too much sense for me to ask you to spend at least a few minutes a day charting out a safety plan for you and your children to help you make it to and from work and school each day. Make it back to your loving families.

If you are the parents of small children and teenagers, I ask, like I have so many times before, you to take the role of your child’s Safety Coach. Talk with him or her regularly and open up a precious dialog to give him/her an avenue to tell you of any situation where an adult has made inappropriate advances of inquiries. Also, give him/her some common sense rules of thumb about whom he/she should trust (only the rare Gold People, like his/her parents and closest, most trustworthy relatives) and some strategies to use to repel those who they shouldn’t trust.

If you are a woman, I ask that you begin thinking and planning ahead. Have a Plan A and a Failure Plan (Plan B) in your mind when you go out, or, for that matter, for when you are at home and someone comes to your door,

Of course, I Am talking in generalities in the limited time and space a blog allows me. If you E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com, I will send you my E Book on Survival Strategies for Women as well as my E Book CAT – Counter Abduction Strategies for Children.

But, in the meantime, here are a few Counter Abduction Techniques/Strategies For Children (in the next post, I will point out a few Counter-Abduction Strategies for Women) that you might consider adopting for your children:

• SUPERVISE YOUR PRECIOUS GIFTS (THE CHILDREN) WHENEVER PRACTICABLE. Countless children have been abducted from inside their homes with the parents in another room or from their front yards with their parents less than 10 yards away.
• SAFETY COACHES SHOULD TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO MAKE NOISE WHENEVER APPROACHED BY ANYONE NOT ON THEIR “GOLD (NOT TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY) LIST!” Predators purposely “mark”silent and “good” children as prey. They will almost always avoid noisy and “crazy” kids. Kids who scream out, move around point fingers at them, shout out “Help! This guy is not my daddy!” On the other hand, “good and polite” kids are ideal victims because they usually “freeze.” Stand in one place and say nothing defiant and let themselves be carried off!
• SAFETY COACHES CAN TEACH THEIR CHILD NOT TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE TOUCHED. Teach your child to be wary of anyone who touches them on any part of their person without their permission, even a relative, or a teacher, priest or rabbi. Teach the child that, if possible, get away from that person as quickly as possible, especially if that person touches them on any part of their body that would be normally covered by a bathing suit.
• SAFETY COACH CAN TEACH THEIR CHILD TO TRUST THEIR GUT FEELINGS! Ask any child who has been approached and/or grabbed by an adult and I bet that each and every one of them will tell you that they felt a weird sensation just before. Many of them don’t quite understand what is going on, but it usually means the adult is giving the kid The Creeps. Some Safety Coaches have used the kitchen smoke detector as a great teaching point, explaining that The Creeps is their Smoke Alarm and it is their gut instincts warning them that something is about to go terribly wrong unless they disengage from the area PDQ!
• NEVER, EVER LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH THE ADULT, TEENAGER OR OTHER CHILD! I AM NOT CONTRADICTING MYSELF. Once your child gets The Creeps about another person who might cause them harm, he or she should get out of Dodge quickly. In doing so, the child should obey some pretty simple rules:

1) If the adult is real close, walk quickly or run, but without turning your back on the adult (Predator Prey Principle).

2) If the adult is close by, move in a serpentine, or zig zag, pattern.

3) Use barricades in the environment to separate you from the adult.

4) Instead of hiding nearby where you can get captured, run toward any “safe” adult – preferably a woman with children.

5) Make plenty of noise.

6) BUT, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, SHOULD THE CHILD LEAVE THE ORIGINAL AREA WITH THE ADULT!

Ø As hard as it might be for the child to do so, teach him/her to stay in the initial crime scene. Injured or not, he will be found there,

Ø But without a doubt, if he or she leaves with the predator, he or she will not be found!

7) THE KEY TO ESCAPING IS TO DELAY THE AMOUNT OF TIME THE PREDATOR MUST SPEND AT THE ORIGINAL CRIME SCENE TO GET YOUR CHILD INTO HIS CAR.

Ø This is where the Drop/Lock and Roll Technique I teach is used by the child to extend the predator’s stay in the crime scene.

Ø The crucial strategy for the abductor is to get the child whisked away quickly!

Until the next post, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

August 15, 2009

DEADLY SERIOUS MOTHER FUGGERS

You might or might not know by now that I’ve dedicated my professional life to emulsifying all predators who prey on women and children. Mayhap emulsifying is too esoteric and dramatic a term, but it reads a lot better than ridding the world of or vexing. You be the judge,

Point is, there are those worthless miscreants out there, maybe .less than 1% of the population, who dedicate their existence to marking, stalking, attacking, raping, assaulting, and, if it pleases them, torturing and killing our most vulnerable, our most beautiful among us.

Let’s get together and emulsify these Deadly Serious Mother Fuggers . We can start by understanding that they spend hours a day, while you and I are working and figuring out how to make a safe and secure life for our families, planning and scheming how to distract and seduce their selected prey.  To get them under their control.

DEADLY SERIOUS PLOYS

• Taking advantage of personality characteristics. In way too many cases, predators have used the kindness of women against them. Without a doubt, if children and women offered a cold stare instead of a smile and an open heart, many predators would be out of luck.
• Getting Women out of their Home, Car, Wherever. Some of the ingenious ploys these evil miscreants use to influence women and children into their clutches include:

Ø “MY BABY IS TURNING BLUE!” Panic-stricken men have approached women and stammered that “my baby is in my car and he is dying, turning blue, please help oh my God, please help!” The victim doesn’t have to even approach the car, by the way, just begin to walk with the guy out of a high-witness area and be caught distracted, off-balance.

Ø “MAM, YOU DROPPED THIS.” A woman has entered her car after shopping and walking through a parking lot. Suddenly a “concerned-looking” man rushes over to her waving a $5 or $10 bill. He claims she dropped the bill. Many women will roll the window down at that point without even thinking, at which point the man forces his way into her car, or, in some cases, pulls her out of the car and into his. A key defense is to know your money is secure and be aware of what you have at all points, so you don’t fall for the ploy. Another thought is that your life is worth a lot more than $10. Once in your car, lock it up, seal the windows and go!

Ø CRYING BABY ON YOUR PORCH OR OUTSIDE YOUR DOOR. This heartless ploy plays heavily on a woman’s maternal instincts, just like the “Baby Turning Blue” ruse. This ruse involves a recording of a crying baby and a predator lying in wait for you to open the door. If you open the door, the Bad Guy will explode into your house or drag you out of it!

Ø POST-IT STICKUM NOTE ON YOUR BACK WINDOW. Plays on a woman’s curiosity and concern. When she begins to back out of her spot she will notice the note, and, more often than not, will get out of her car to read it. Bingo! Always remember to get in the car and just go! You can always read the note from a safe public spot.

Ø FIRST IN/FIRST OUT. I have posted about this many times before, but it is worth mentioning once more. Predators prefer to attack when their chosen victim is most distracted. And there are few instances when a child or woman is more distracted than when she or he is first going in or coming out of a house, automobile, or, for that matter, any kind of structure or edifice.

Next Post: Things you can do to foil the Deadly Serious Mother Fuggers of the world. Until then—

Stay Safe.

Hammer

THIS will work for teachers but will likely be even more effective for school resource officers and workplace security officers. The Five Step Hard Style is central to the impressive Verbal Judo subject-control curriculum and is ingeniously engineered to influence 99% of Difficult People to do what you want him or her to do in such a way and in such a manner that the disturbed Person/Student believes that it is his or her idea in the first place.

The Five Step is designed to generate voluntary compliance – as opposed to expecting compliance from workers, students and others based simply upon one’s position of authority. It is custom made to work positively against the negative center of a disruptive or difficult person/student.

THE FIVE STEP

STEP 1. ASK INSTEAD OF COMMAND. I believe it is axiomatic that difficult students/people are psychologically, physically, and philosophically incapable of doing what they are told to do. Period. End of equation. However, research shows that 96% of difficult people will do what they are asked the first time they are asked.  Think of how you feel and how you often react when you are told tersely to do something and do it now.

STEP 2. SET CONTEXT. EXPLAIN. Often, you and other authority figures probably don’t feel it necessary to explain to a (subordinate) subject why you are commanding him or her to do something. Think of this for a second. Why? Is the central question in a democracy, and democracy was won the hard way a couple centuries ago by Difficult People who refused to do what they were told. Studies and empirical evidence proves that when asked to do something, and when asking fails, explains why, Difficult People will voluntarily comply 97% of the time.

STEP 3. GIVE THE DIFFICULT PERSON OPTIONS. Every Difficult Person needs to perceive he or she has a say, one way or the other, in what happens to him/her. 98-99% of Difficult People will comply when asked to do something, when the reason for the “request” is explained, and, finally, when the authority figure (teacher, parent, security) allows the perception that he or she has a choice. I always try to say something like, “Sir, you have some good options here. You can (one or two good options), or you can continue to rant and rave and you will give us no choice but to restrain you and escort you to lock-up. Dude, think about it. Do you really need that kind of problems today? It’s up to you—“ In the end, it’s always up to the disruptive person, or, at leasxt that’s the perception I wish to generate.

STEP 4. CONFIRM. The objective of Step 4 is to confirm for the record that the person/student does not intend to comply. When you confirm for the record you are laying the foundation for any physical action you might be forced to use to attain control over the disruptive student/person.

“Jon, is there anything I can do or say to get you to go along with the program today? I sure hope so.”

You got to admit, the Confirmation Statement is both convincing and compelling. I have seen hardened gang- bangers drop their Tough Guy Act and actually comply, so stunned were they at an officer’s cool Confirmation.

But, in the case of the remaining 1%, there is always Step 5.

STEP 5. TAKE ACTION. One of the primary reason the 5-Step Hard Style works so well, if you ask me, is that each independent and linear step is increasingly mind-numbing to the Difficult Person. Why? Most disruptive people/students – when they are in the midst of perpetrating mischief and mayhem, never, or maybe rarely expect the authority figure (teacher or officer)to be reasonable, respectful and/or nice! And make no mistake about it, defusing a disruptive student is all about Being Nice!

But another reason the 5-Step works is the relentless truth that, at the end of the day, limits that have been set, options that have been given, and consequences that have been alluded to, must be enforced. So, after you ask the Confirmation Question and the doofus refuses to comply, you must take whatever action protocol or common sense calls for.

And, if you are cringing because you detest using force, or, more likely, are concerned that the school district or work place will question your use of force and/or why you felt compelled to use it, let me do my best to put those worries to rest. The Five Step will give any teacher or security officer the most crucial element of any legal defense or questioning regarding his or her use of force.

PRECLUSION. Which, simply put, means you can show, beyond a reasonable doubt, or at the very least, by a preponderance of the evidence that you did everything within your ability and power to preclude the use of force. You asked him/her nicely; you explained to the student why; you explained to the student what options he/she had (and the consequences for not choosing the compliant alternatives); and you confirmed nicely that he did not intend to comply.

Until Next Time, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

July 27, 2009

ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND STALKING

Don’t know if you’ve caught the myriad accounts – in the papers, on TV and radio –  but there’s been an alarming rise in police officers, women, men and even children  killed and maimed as a result of stalking and domestic violence.  I even get personal accounts from law enforcement officers and citizens whom I train in my instructor programs, Management of Workplace Violence courses and Self Defense for Women programs to the point where I am convinced that I need to focus this and the next few posts on  the issues surrounding Domestic Violence, Stalking, and Violence Against Women and Children.

ON STALKING

LEGAL DEFINITIONS vary widely from state to state.  Most states, however, define stalking as the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing of another person.  Stalking related activities include as lying in wait; surveillance; non-consensual communications; telephone harassment and vandalism.  Most states require at least two or more of acts of the above nature before the actions can be considered harassment.  The action(s) also need to constitute at least an implied/inferred threat. 

AS FAR AS I am concerned, the key is that the victim understands the danger of stalking if it is allowed to continue unchecked.  Domestic Violence is directly connected to stalking and both occur in a continuum that ranges from emotional abuse at one end to homicide on the other.   And the escalation of violence along this catastrophic continuum often follows a predictable pattern.  My goal here is to formulate responses and countermeasures to break what I see as a cycle of violence.

STALKING AND VIOLENCE BY AN INTIMATE

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, as you probably are aware, is all about control, power and domination.  For this reason, when a woman leaves her abuser, he often stalks her in an effort to regain control over her.  Sadly, this control is effected through increasing physical violence.  Thus, when a woman leaves her abusing husband/boyfriend, it is an extremely dangerous time for her (and her children and anyone else who happens to care for her, or attempt to protect her, establish a relationship with her).

STALKING – make no mistake – is an act that terrorizes its victims.  Stalking creates a psychological prison that deprives its victim(s) of basic liberty of movement and security in their homes.  Moreover, stalking is a crime that often occurs in a domestic violence context, and, unfortunately, follows a traceable pattern that, if left unreported and unchecked by the victim, will often (in my experience it will almost always increase in intensity and violence exponentially, but I am being conservative in this post) increase in intensity and violence and all too often end in the death of the woman, plus anyone unfortunate enough to be around her at the moment!

As a matter of fact, just in the past few weeks an emotionally distraught ex-husband stalked and killed his wife, his children, his wife’s boyfriend, and several of his wife’s friends and relatives across three states!

Next Post:  More on Stalking and Domestic Violence, including intervention programs, stalking countermeasures, and self defense suggestions.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

GAMES PREDATORS PLAY

I have been saying this for years, so why not one more time?  The best way to know what the beast is going to do today is to know what the beast did yesterday.  Ok, cool, you may be thinking, but what’s that mean to me?

Simple.  When we talk self defense, especially for women, about 97% of surviving and/or prevailing against a spontaneous, surprise, deadly, close quarters attack comes down to techniques of prevention and avoidance.  In other words, Dudes and Dudettes, avoiding any attack in the first place.

THE SIX LINEAR STAGES OF SELF DEFENSE

1. Techniques of Self Awareness.
2. Threat Recognition Techniques.
3. Preventive Techniques.
4. Techniques of Avoidance.
5. Escape and Evasion Strategies.
6. Close Quarter Fighting Arts, when everything else fails.

Recognizing that, to many predators, the Art of the Attack is a deadly game they love to play, is a big part of Techniques of Avoidance/Prevention goes a long way toward totally avoiding any meaningful contact with a predator.  So, for the purpose of this post, let’s look at some Games (Sexual and) Violent Predators Play:

HELP WANTED ADS.

Many predators are hip to the “Maternal- Help Instincts” of the potential victims whom they have sized up and maybe even stalked for some time.  Thousands of women and children have been sucked in by predators wearing casts and struggling with heavy objects.  The predator is a sly, wily animal who knows how to play the role perfectly until it is time to pounce.  Predators know also how to set their victim up in an ideal location so that when they pounce, their victim is isolated and at a distinct disadvantage.

REFUSAL TO ACCEPT “NO!”

Speaking of “Help Wanted Ads,” the opposite game is even more lethal.  The sexual predator might approach a woman or child who is carrying or maybe struggling with an object and will offer their assistance.  Perhaps the predator will even be dressed nicely and will act with kindness and consideration.  The number one fact that the potential victim must always remember is I don’t even know this guy, which should kick off the natural gut instinct that something is messed up here.  If you are wise, you will always nicely but firmly refuse this person’s offer of help.  The trick is for the “victim” to understand is a normal man/person will always back off and go on his way.  However, the predator will most likely refuse to honor your refusal.  He will insist on helping you and might even follow his target (the potential victim) toward his or her car, house or apartment and insist on helping you.  What he is hoping for is to break down the resistance well enough for her to allow him to help her.  In some actual cases, the woman dropped one of her bags or had trouble picking up one of the objects and the “beast” grabbed it and helped the woman up a flight of stairs, promising all the while to leave the bag outside her door and go on his way.  Turned out to be a fatal lie.

THE GRATITUDE AND GUILT GUN.

You may have already heard tell of this one.  A lone woman in a shopping mall parking lot found that one of her tires was flat.  Along came a man carrying an attaché case.  He was nice looking, articulate and kind, and he gently offered to fix her flat tire.  The woman, who considered herself unable to fix the flat, accepted the man’s offer, and, after laying his attaché on her car roof, removed his suit jacket and proceeded to fix the tire.  The woman thanked the man profusely and offered him money, which he declined.  “However,” he said, “my car is all the way on the other side of the mall and I really would appreciate it if you could drive me over there—“

This Game (I call The Gratitude and Guilt Gun Game) almost always works, based upon the age-old human instincts of gratitude for a service rendered, usually a service that is crucial to the victim, and the pangs of guilt that accompany the potential victim’s gut/survival instincts that raise the hair on the back of the victim’s neck and scream in his or her ears to “Get the Hell Out of Here Now!  In this case, however, the woman obeyed her Gut Instincts, which, by the way, are never wrong!  She apologized to the gentleman but stated that she never goes anywhere with a stranger, especially in a car.

Long story short, turns out that Mall Security drove by at that second and the man walked away leaving his case on her roof.  When security checked the case they found a knife, razors, duct tape, a blindfold and a rope. 

Trust your Gut Instincts and follow some of my Tough Target Rules to defeat these Deadly Predator Games.

Next Post.  More Games and Tough Target Strategies.

Until then.  Stay safe.

Hammer