Archive for the ‘Violence Against Women’ Category

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

January 31, 2010

WINOLOGY 101 – KICK THE PERVERT’S ASS USING IMPROVISED WEAPONS!

We talked about using the element of surprise is the last two posts.  Comes the time to talk about using whatever it is that you happen to have handy when the pervert jumps in your face and expects you to fold like a $2 pup tent in a hurricane.

Improvised Weapons are at times better than real weapons per se (guns, knives, impact weapons) simply because when you are the victim of a spontaneous, close quarter surprise attack, your “real” weapon is likely not available, even, at times, if you are a cop (in my Spontaneous Knife Defense classes we assume that an officer will NOT be able to draw his weapon when attacked by a Bad Guy with an edged weapon).

WHATEVER IS IN THY HANDS CEASES TO EXIST

Predators love to attack women and children who have both hands full of items and/or who are first going in or first coming out of a location (that is when they are most distracted).  It is essential that you stay as focused as possible at all times.  If you are ever attacked with articles in your hands, my philosophy is that you must release whatever it is, so your hands are free to defend yourself, to fight!  However, if you have any of the following items in your hand, you are in possession of a deadly Improvised Weapon (IW)!

  • Dog leash;
  • Camera;
  • Cell Phone;
  • Wallet;
  • Purse;
  • Hard Backed Book or Soft Backed Book;
  • Newspaper;
  • Travel Mug;
  • DVD Case;
  • I-Pod;
  • I-Phone;
  • Car Keys;
  • Spatula;
  • Umbrella;
  • Notebook;
  • Handful of Coins;
  • Pencil or Pen;
  • Hatpin;
  • Eyeglasses Case;
  • Makeup Compact;
  • Fix-A-Flat Spray Can (or, any kind of Hairspray Can).
  • Icescraper;
  • Magicmarker;
  • Kubaton, or Another type of wooden or plastic key-holder.

Believe it or not, there are many other types of ordinary, every-day things that can be used as weapons.  I just don’t have the time or space to go into all of them.  I’m sure your imagination will work for you now that you understand the principle.  Damned near anything hard or even soft can be used to hurt an attacker, or, at the very least, distract him so that you can escape.

For instance, you probably carry a cell phone at all times.  Great!  If you have one nearby, take hold of it. Don’t hold it like you would a weapon.  If you do that, the Bad Guy will know what is coming and he can easily block your strike, etc.  Hold it as you normally would , but allow it to slide into the heel of your hand for counterpressure.  It does no good for you to hit the bad guy with it if it is going to fly out of your hand.  Now strike with the hard edge of it against your other hand.  You can feel how powerful that would be as a weapon.  Now, all you have to do, if you are ever confronted is to hold it low and innocuously so he will not even focus on the phone as a weapon.  More likely than not, the Bad Guy will close the distance, and, at the right moment drive that cell phone up through his Blind Spot (the space between his chest and his throat) and drive it into his throat.  Try it on yourself – just a touch, a soft touch at that – and you’ll see it fits perfectly.  The throat is the best target possible because the Bad Guy will likely drop like Toyota stock, but there are other targets, once you gain the edge.

IDEAL CELL PHONE TARGETS

  • Jaw
  • Forearms
  • Hands
  • Ears
  • Eyes
  • Side of Neck (Brachial Plexus Nerve Motor Point)
  • Clavicles (Shoulder Blades)
  • Jaw Bone
  • Nose
  • Back Of Head
  • Groin.

One more thing.  Essential to converting an everyday item into an impact weapon is speed and explosiveness.  You have to explode into the attack with wicked suddenness and evil intentions!  You cannot be reluctant to use it.  Hit hard.  Remember S.N.E.A.K., the formula for success:

Surprise

Non-Violent (the key is to appear non-violent).

Explode (into the target)

Aggressive

Knock the Bad Guy out of the fight!

Stay Safe

Hammer

SURPRISE THE STUPID ASSHOLE!

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Sorry about the profanity.  Fact is, though, predators deserve a lot worse language. Matter of fact, in one way or another, directly and indirectly, I have waged a public and private war against these silly bastards.  So, rather than rail against them, rather than stringing together some inane profanity, mayhap you and I can talk about some unique tactics you can use if ever you come up against one or more of these sons of bitches (gees, I am nasty today) in a dark alley somewhere.

In case you did not read my post yesterday – “Load Surprise into your Self Defense Game Plan, Part I” – The Element of Surprise is a staple for any predator’s attack plan.  It may come in the form of a distraction, such as asking you a seemingly harmless question, or dressing like a lawyer or a businessman and/or acting like a child’s uncle or preacher, or teacher until the horrifying second where he turns from a benevolent spirit into an abject minster

Well, how about turning the tables on this jerk by using the same strategy against him?  How do we do this?  By reacting to him the way his – The Predator – psychology expects his victim to respond.  Simply put, the bad guy in many cases is confronting you because he – for whatever reason – sees an opportunity for an easy score.  Therefore, most likely, he has marked you as a victim, and, after testing you by trailing you or asking a few questions, he is now in your face because he expects you to cave.  The way I see it, you have two good options here. Actually, three (it is just that the third, giving up, saying nothing, and begging for your life, while still your choice to make, is unacceptable to this blog post.

  1. Immediately, upon recognizing that the Bad Guy is organizing an attack upon you, tell him to “Stay Back (or some other statement of outrage and verbal direction)!”; get into a fighting stance and prepare to defend yourself.
  2. Try to keep your distance so he can’t grab or assault you, tell him to lay off you, now! But prepare a survival strategy.  If he grabs you, use a Surprise Counterattack.

THE SURPRISE EQUATION, PART I. BUILD UP THE BAD GUY’S EXPECTATIONS. The best way to Reverse the Predator-Prey Syndrome (where you become the predator and he suddenly becomes the prey) is to build up his confidence that his plan will succeed and allow him to relax his guard (false sense of security).  So, what does the Bad Guy expect?  Simple.  He expects you to “fight like a girl, “ whch, when translated, means he expects you not to fight, or, if you do, to lash out aimlessly and powerlessly.  So, Part I of this “Surprise Equation” means you will initially act as if you are terrified and have no idea what to do after, and only after, he grabs you, strikes you, etc.

THE SURPRISE EQUATION, PART II. PHYSICAL ACTING JOB. This is a key to the whole strategy.  After he grabs you, pulls you closer, or grabs you and attempts tio pull you into an alley, car, or other secluded spot, your initial physical act is orchestrated to influence him to lower his guard and contribute to his own failure.  A few Examples of this:

  • The predator grabs you by the wrists or arms and starts dragging you toward an alley.  Your first action is to do what he expects, and that is to pull away and lean back as you do.  This ties in to his expectations and he will – believing that his arm strength is far superior to yours – try to break your foolish resistance by pulling you as hard as he can toward himself.
  • The predator grabs you by the throat and/or shirt or hair and pulls you in close to him.  He expects you to melt in fear.  Allow yourself to be pulled in close (as much as this will be frightening) and appear to go limp.  Feign crying and lay your head on his shoulder or neck, which is what he wants you to do.  Chances are this will influence him to relax his guard a bit because this is what his “fantasy scenario” had scripted you to do.
  • The predator grabs you by the shirt, neck or hair but does not pull you close.  Instead, he keep you at arm’s length and makes a fist as if about to punch you.  Appear to submit.  Raise both hands in a Beg-For-Mercy Stance, waving both hands, palms outward in front of your face.

THE SURPRISE EQUATION PART III.  THE S.N.E.A.K. ATTACK! The SNEAK Attack is where the surprise explodes in the Bad Guy’s Face.  For instance, in the first scenario above, you have pulled away, knowing that the Bad Guy is stronger.  When he uses his superior power to pull you toward him, use all his power to propel you into his Center-Line Targets (eyes, nose, throat, solar plexus, stomach, groin).  Chances are good that he will not be prepared to block as he will be taken by surprise and he will be set back on his heels.  Deliver as many strikes as fast as possible to open targets using your hands, head (butt), knees and feet.  In the second scenario, once the Bad Guy pulls you close, he has put you in position to be the predator, no longer the prey.  Go limp, maybe whimper, and, now, take the hand closest to his face and place it on his opposite shoulder.  Quickly, and without warning (duhhh), hook your fingers inside his jawbone and drive your thumb hard into his eyes.  If you succeed, he will undoubtably release his hold on you, at which time you need to nail him in the groin with a knee, and, after you gain some space, hit whatever Primary Targets (Groin, Eyes, Throat, Knees, Nose) as often as possible.

The third scenario is a dangerous one, but he has you in a perfect position for a choke or a punch to the face.  The Bad Guy expects you to submit and to beg you not to hit him.  This is why I have asked you to assume the “Compliance Stance (Please Don’t Hit Me).”  From the compliance stance, beg the Bad Guy not to hit you, while slowly taking your strong hand and place it over top of his hand – the one that is holding you.  Now, quickly, tighten your grip and secure his restraining hand to your body while simultaneously driving a Palm Heel Strike to the attacker’s face with the same side hand as the one that is restraining you.  This will work because there is no way that he can block the incoming strike because his blocking hand is tied up.  Keep hold of his hand and, now, drive your shin or knee into his groin or another target.

Part III< Improvised Weapon Surprise.  Until then, Stay Safe

Hammer

REVERSE THE PREDATOR-PREY PRINCIPLE WITH THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

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LOAD “SURPRISE” INTO YOUR SELF DEFENSE GAME PLAN, PART I.

This post was originally supposed to be for parents who wish to teach their children skills to stop the bully in his or her tracks. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the following self defense tactics and skills will work for anyone who might be required to defend her or himself against anyone who has arrogantly invaded his or her personal space and is posturing as if he or she is about to attack.

When we talk self defense, the element of surprise is essential. Remember, we are not talking about a competitive contest in a dojo or an arena overseen by a referee or a master instructor. What we are talking about is a spontaneous, close quarter life and death struggle in an environment usually selected by the attacker, who is a pernicious predator who has painstakingly planned out the assault. Likely, your attacker(s) has the following advantages:

v He/she is bigger and stronger.

v He/she has a distinct plan.

v He/she is armed with one or more (deadly) weapons.

v He/she has you *outnumbered (*when the attacker has a plan and the victim does not, the victim is already outnumbered).

v The attacker will choose the time and space of his/her attack so that the lighting is subdued, there are no witnesses, and the victim has little or no ability to move (tactically).

v The predator will almost always(98%)precede his/her attack with a slick distraction designed to get the victim looking in another direction (than at him or her) so that his or her (the prospective victim’s) focus is fractured and his/her ability to defend him or herself (against the predator) is radically weakened.

v In other words, despite all the other advantages he/she already has, the bully, sexual predator, abductor, or violent criminal, still relies mostly on The Element of Surprise to overcome his or her victim!

My point, exactly. I have no reluctance and zero hesitation to say that Surprise (ALONG WITH SPEED) is going to be your key, irrespective of your age, size, or gender to successfully defending yourself against anybody who threatens your safety, maybe even your life. Ergo in two subsequent posts, we’re going to discuss how to manifest this great element in your self defense arsenal. Used properly and with great commitment, surprise will reverse the predator-prey principle and set the bad guy back on his (or, her) heels!

SURPRISE AND SPEED KILLS!

So, what do I mean by surprise? Maybe an example will help. Have you ever been walking in the woods, perhaps your mind is lost in thought about something or someone you care about, are troubled about, and, bam, with a rush of wings flapping and bushes bursting, a covey of pheasants, or a turkey, explodes from the brush around you? It has happened to me, and, let me tell you, your heart feels like it stops, you freeze, and you can hardly breathe. Or, you are coming through a door, once again, your mind on something far away, and, bam, someone else is standing in the doorway. Someone you didn’t expect to see. Once again, you stop breathing, your mouth falls agape, and you may even stumble backwards, off balance.

I have just described exactly what” surprise” does to a person who is unaware and who is suddenly and unexpectedly confronted by a predator.

In the next two posts, though, I will tell you exactly how to Reverse the Predator-Prey Syndrome and make the Bad Guy hold his breath and stumble backwards.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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THE FIGHTING ARTS AND THE YOSEMITE PARK NIGHTMARE

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

November 28, 2009

YOSEMITE NIGHTMARE – Using the Fighting Arts to Stop A Raging Killer.

You might’ve caught my November 25 post  – A Yosemite Nightmare – in which I talked about the park handyman who slaughtered four women (actually, I only detailed three murders; a fourth woman was attacked and decapitated in a separate attack) in maybe the most grisly way possible.  The point of the article was that the women disobeyed their gut instincts and allowed the handyman inside their cabin, then exacerbated their error by believing the psycho when he promised that they would not be harmed if they cooperated.  Went along with The Program. Of course, if you’ve been reading any of my posts regarding Self Defense for Women or Children (one of the victims was only 14), you know what The Program they will be going along with.

Humiliation, Torture Then Death is The Program.

So, I hope you’re wondering, if you were ever in a situation like this – maybe a Home Invasion, maybe a person you had trusted is now in an enclosed environment and he turns out to be a rabid wolf instead of your husband’s Best Friend, or, you and two of your women/girlfriends are coeds at a college and you’ve been invited to a special party, and the Special Party turns out to be just one horny and violent man and, well, you – what exactly do you do?

First and foremost, it is up to you.  The Number One Principle in Self Defense (For Women, Children, especially) is that Being Willing To Fight Back is more important than being able! In the Yosemite Park scenario no one knows if any of the 3 women were able to fight their killer, but we do know for sure that they were not willing. And being unwilling, when the spontaneous close quarter attack explodes in your face, translates into you and your friends freezing like statues (or deer in the headlights)and becoming ideal immovable victims!  Even if you have the ability to fight, once your mind and body is flooded by stress hormones, you are cooked, unless, of course, you—-

v      HAVE A SURVIVAL PLAN. In the business, we call this Spinal Tuning. Think ahead  and commit yourself to a plan of action, if an attack should occur.  In the Yosemite situation, if the women decided they were going to allow the handyman in to their lodge (never should they have selected this option, but let’s say the lodge verified that he was an employee and they let him in, before they might have committed themselves to the plan, if the worse case scenario went down), each needed to simply say, if this happens, I will do that and Be Willing To immediately and unhesitatingly carry out that plan when the shit hits the fan!

v      HIT THE “FIGHTING ARTS NOW” BUTTON IMMEDIATELY AND GO FOR BROKE, BABY!

  • Make sure you Breathe Tactically so we can get oxygenated blood to the brain.
  • There are 3 of you.  3. Either bunch up for a feeling of unity and safety, or stay in different areas of the room, so the asshole can’t cover you all with his gun (yes, he had a gun).
  • Make noise and attack!  The asshole is after compliant, quiet victims.  That is why he chose you in the first place.  Get him back on his heels by attacking from different directions, throwing objects through the windows (Destroy The Environment, Baby!) so the Bad Guy knows that others in the area will know an attack is going down, which is the very last thing he wants.  Make him want to break off the attack, even though now he cannot.
  • Make Your Attack Count. Three women, even if none have The Ability to fight, can reek havoc on one man.  Even if he has a gun.  If you work it right, you can make The Counterattack really work.  How?
  1. Hit him from different directions.
  2. Hit his “High Dollar Targets.” Limit his ability to see, to move, to breathe.  Stop him right now!  Gouge his eyes; kick his knees out; drive something into his throat!  There are 3 of you, so one of you throw something over his head (a sheet or a coat) from behind, so his ability to see anything is gone; then hit the floor behind him and have one of your friends push him over you.  Once on the floor he is yours!
  3. Speed, power and multiplicity means do not delay, explode into every strike, gouge, kick.  Shed any age old compunctions you might have about hurting another human being, understanding that now he has shed his disguise and now he is a stone, cold killer and his Program he wants you to go along with calls for humiliation (ties you up and sexually assaults you), torture and death! Power means that what you hit – his Targets – all cause him to stop what he is doing and reflexively grab himself there .  Multiplicity means that you never stop fighting until there is nothing left to fight!  Comprende?

>     BE TARGET AND TASK FOCUSED.  DO NOT ALLOW FEAR TO SLOW YOU DOWN! I always advise my students to focus only on the targets he or she needs to hit.  Be Task Oriented.  This means learning what your best personal weapons are and how to use them against the assailants open targets! I also point out that when the Bad Guy engages you with one or both hands, he has no or limited ability to block incoming strikes or gouges to his vital targets (knees, eyes, throat, groin).

And, finally, what about the handgun the Bad Guy is wielding? Great question.  Since this is the Yosemite situation, let me again point out that there are 3 of you and he can only shoot one, maybe two of you before you get to him.  Sounds bad, I know, but consider this:  In the real scenario, the handyman tied up, tortured and killed all 3.  Plus, the gun was not loaded.  Here are some things to think about:

  1. Even if you are shot, chances are better than 60% you will not die from your wound, if help can be retrieved within an hour.
  2. Under stress – and the killer is under stress, also – it is not easy to hit a moving target.  Chances are better than 45% that, if you move fast and use barricades (furniture in the room, etc), you will not be hit, or, if hit, may be able to avoid a hit to a vital target.
  3. Guns and knives are brandished against victims because they instill great trepidation, fear and usually gain cooperation.  If and when the assailant brandishes a deadly weapon for this reason, he is not always immediately willing and able to use it, meaning a quick counterattack can render that weapon almost inoperable,  In the Yosemite case, the gun was not even loaded!

Stay Safe Until My Next Post.

Hammer

BEDROOM SURPRISE. PART 2

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

The theme here is that – as bad as things may look – it aint over ‘til it’s over. The bedroom attacker may make a mistake – many of them do – caused by overconfidence, or you might – if you keep your mind clear (not an easy thing to do) – find an opening that can set you free.

BEDROOM SURPRISE, PART II

September 27, 2009

In my last post I talked of a situation where the Bad Guy is sitting atop his victim’s chest, his knees painfully pinning her arms, then, apparently seizing the moment when she stops struggling, he pauses to unzip his trousers anticipating oral sex. When the attacker does this – and this is something I hope you remember – he is compromising his balance and is most vulnerable to any kind of rapid balance displacement move on your part.

Roll the Bad Guy off using the following steps:

1) TRAP the foot on the side you intend to throw the attacker by placing your weakside foot on the outside of his foot (Posting or Trapping).

2) Slide your opposite foot inward until it is just below the attacker’s buttocks, Your thigh should be touching his rear end and the sole of that foot should be flat on the deck.

3) Reach up with the hand on the opposite side as the Bad Guy’s trapped foot and grab him by the shirt.

4) Simultaneously and powerfully as you can, drive your butt in the air (bridge) and push hard with the leg and foot that you had slid close to his buttocks (heel flat on the ground) in order to propel the Bad Guy off of you. At the same time, pull the hand that has hold of his shirt in the direction you wish him to roll.

5) Imagine that your butt is lifting up and driving your navel or belt buckle directly into the mattress.

6) Never give up. Use all your power. You can do it.

7) Once the attacker is off of you, strike him with whatever personal weapon (bite, gouge, knee him, kick him, drive the heel of your foot into his face) you have and get out of Dodge.

8) One note: As always, it is up to you if and how you do this. You can wait until he is distracted by un-zippering, or you can play into his plans by acting like you are giving up and will do what he wants. Women /girls have waited until the attacker actually had his member out and was starting to move it toward the victim’s mouth when they made their move. It was the last thing the Bad Guy expected!

Another escape I often teach features the attacker crawling up and attempting to get inside the woman’s legs. I actually advocate the woman spreading her legs – which is what the Bad Guy wants. Once he is inside and puts her in a choke hold, I teach women to latch onto both hands and not let go, while, simultaneously kicking the attacker in the ribs and back of the head with her legs and feet. I then teach the intended victim to “shrimp up” to gain distance from the attacker so she can drive both of her heels into his hips. Now, simultaneously hold onto the hands and drive the feet into the subject, and, then, while still holding onto his hands drive both feet hard into his face. Escape.

Stay safe.

Hammer

BEDROOM SURPRISE

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 26, 2009

BEDROOM SURPRISE

Ever ask yourself what would I do if ever I was attacked while I was asleep? I get the question a lot at my Survival Skills for Women classes. I get a lot of questions about darn near every conceivable type of attack under every situation possible, and some that are not possible. I’ll get to some of those other questions in future posts, but, for now, I thought I’d wax on about what you might if ever you were attacked in bed.

Once again, I’m going to ask you to rely on a cluster of dependable and effective principles rather than specific techniques that you would have to dredge up from your subconscious while some creep is pinning you down and your heart rate is spiking through the roof as the result of survival stress.

These Principles are simple and there aren’t too many of them. They are the same for just about any type of attack, including the bedroom assault.

v Breathe Tactically. Most victims in this situation hold their breath and say nothing, which to the attacker is like an engraved invitation to have fun, do whatever you wish to me.

v Do Something. Never Freeze.

v Say Something. Freezing and staying mute in the face of a life and death attack empowers the villain and disempowers you! “Get back!”

v Hit An Open Target. It’s damned near Natural Law. At least one of the 3 or 4 vital targets will be open. Hit it hard and others will pop open.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. TURN HIS EXPECTATION AGAINST HIM!

Hold the phone. You say, “well, that’s all fine and dandy, but, you see, I will almost always be under my sheet and blanket. It is likely that I will not be able to use my hands.

Good point. Here’s another point: If you are unable to use your personal weapons now, understand that at some point in this ordeal, the Bad Guy must let down his defenses, which is exactly when you can and must strike!

If the attacker is there simply to pound you and nothing else, you are in serious doo-doo, if your arms are pinned (domestic violence), I admit that. But, in the scenario of a rapist who is attacking you in your bed, more likely than not, he will eventually pull down the covers in order to do what it is he came to do. When he pulls the sheets away, it is your time to deliver the Bedroom Surprise.

Ok, lets assume now the covers are off and your hands and feet are free.

ASSAULTS AND ESCAPES

v Bad Guy is standing at the side of your bed. You awake. Raise the leg on the side where the assailant is standing. This will prevent him – believe it or not – from climbing on top of you. Two things to consider here:

(1) None of his targets are available to you. They may be open, but there is no way you can hit them.

(2) However, in order to harm you, he must get closer to you. If and when he bends to choke you, his eyes are now within your reach. Quickly drive the closest hand into his eyes. If you hit them, he will recoil, I guarantee it. When he does that, either dive off the bed in the other direction, or, better yet, roll off toward him and knee him in the groin and keep hitting him until you can escape safely.

v Bad Guy is sitting on your chest and he has both your hands pinned above your head. You might say to yourself, I am truly screwed here. Cannot blame you one iota because this is a very hard attack to escape, especially when you lack upper body strength. A good thing to remember is the Bad Guy expects you to try to escape by pushing him off of you. It is important that you use the element of surprise here, though.

(1) Bend both your legs bringing them right up close so that your thighs are against his buttocks, making sure to keep both heels flat on the deck. The crucial move is to distract the attacker by biting him or kicking him and then jerking your hands quickly so that both hands are now even with your shoulders.

(2) Either Pretend to give up, or throw him off.

NOTE: Think about this. Both of the Bad Guy’s hands are tied up, as are yours. This is a stand-off. Women have escaped this situation by crying and saying “I give up,” at which time the attacker loosened his grip and reached to unzip his fly. It is at that very second that he is most off-balance and thrusting him off of you is most easily accomplished).

(3) To throw him off, simultaneously power both arms down toward your sides and thrust your hips/buttocks straight up and then roll so that your navel or belt buckle is driven directly into the ground.

v BAD GUY SITS ON YOUR CHEST, PINNING BOTH ARMS WITH INSIDE OF KNEES. The Bad Guy may try to force you into performing oral sex. This is actually a vulnerable situation the Bad Guy has placed himself in. Instantaneously raise your buttocks off the bed and anchor both heels to the inside of his shoulders. Now pull him backwards by driving your legs back.

Next: More Bedroom Escapes.

Hammer

SO NOW WHAT DO YOU DO?

Friday, September 25th, 2009

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 25, 2009

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE: SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

The question my last post left you with was: “So, despite your efforts to prevent being victimized, your co-worker or client is striding toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your Personal Safety Zone (PSZ). What do you do?

At the risk of oversimplifying the situation, there are a few things I would do as quickly as possible. And, if I may add, I would do them decisively and, importantly without hesitation caused by thoughts and/or concerns regarding my company’s Zero Tolerance of Violence Protocol.

See, the thing is, the key difference between you and the person about to main or kill you (and I am still thinking of Ms. Lee, the Yale graduate student who was choked and beaten to death and stuffed inside a wall on her wedding day) is intent. The perpetrator’s sole thought and focus is on you. You are the target and nothing else on Earth exists. If your mind and focus shifts to anything but your attacker – even for a millisecond – you are toast.

Anywho, there are a few things I would do and do quickly:

v STUN THE HYPER-FOCUSED IDIOT. A great tactic is to take the attacker’s strengths and mindset and turn them against him/her. We know he is focused only on you, so break his focus. Think of it as Changing His/Her Channels. Any move that changes his focus from Channel 6, which he wants to be on, to another channel will slow him down, fragment his strategy, and split the crucial connection between his/her mind and body.

Ø Scream or Yell “Stop!” Sounds stupid, but this will work. It will only work one time, but it will startle him, maybe give you time to escape.

Ø Physically Distract Him/Her. This, too, will work. Has worked for me on several occasions. Throw an object toward him, toward his face – something like a hat, a pen, something.

Ø Verbally Distract Him or Her. “Holy crap, Andy, what the hell is that on your shirt?” said while backing up and pointing at his chest. Once again, it has the effect of changing his or her channel.

v CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Without crossing your feet (and tripping) J-Step or move diagonally or laterally away, denying the subject the ability to invade your safety zone. Let him know what you want him to do. Say something, and when you say it, mean business. “Stay Back!” The longer you can delay the attack the better your chances for survival.

v USE BARRICADES IN THE ENVIRONMENT. Hopefully, your mind will have the ability to think clearly. There should be furniture in your environment that you can use to separate you from the attacker. Increase your distance from the perpetrator. Maybe throw a chair or something else at his feet. Always keep moving.

v BREATHE DON’T FREEZE. We all need oxygenated blood flowing freely so our brains can analyze, evaluate. And formulate a survival strategy. Always breathe consciously to kick you into gear.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE AND DEFEND YOURSELF. I have discussed surprise strategies in so many past posts that I don’t think I will go into them here and now. Not only that, Tactics of Surprise cannot be taught in a blog. They must come from you depending on what you perceive the attacker least expects.

v EXECUTE THE PLAN YOU HAD DEVELOPED. The reason I say I know what I would do in this or that case is I know I would always have a Plan A and even a Plan B (failure plan)  in mind before any attack began, especially if I found myself in a situation where I felt an attack was a possibility.

Stay Safe.

Hammer

MANAGING VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 23, 2009

MANAGING WORKPLACE VIOLENCE

My last post – let’s face it – was basically me venting after the senseless murder of a Yale graduate student – a woman – in the supposedly high security lab environment of that esteemed university. The police have dubbed the murder as workplace violence, and, although I don’t completely agree, I posted a monograph on Woman and Workplace Violence (WPV). As I promised at the end of that post, let’s talk a bit about how to effectively deal – on a personal level – with people and events that seem to be cascading toward all –out violence on the job site.

FACTORS THAT PLACE WORKERS AT RISK FOR WPV.

v Contact with the public.

v Responsibilities include the exchange of money.

v The delivery of passengers, goods and/or service.

v Working alone or in small numbers.

v Working with volatile, unstable person(s), et al.

v Working late at night or in the early morning hours.

v Working in a high crime area.

v Guarding valuable properties, including drugs, etc.

v Delivery of home care services.

As you may have noticed, only two of those factors existed relative to the murder of Ms. Lee. She was working alone and she was working in the same location as what turned out to be a volatile, unstable person.

RECOGNIZING THOSE RED, RED FLAGS.

If at all possible, of course, work in the company of people whom you trust. More likely than not, if Ms. Lee had, the angry, emotionally disturbed and volatile person would have stewed in his own rage for a while and gone on his way, leaving Ms. Lee unharmed.

However, if you read my last post (Lust Or WPV?), you might be aware that homicide is the number one cause of death for women (in the workplace). You would also know that incidents of stalking, rape, sexual assault, and other types of violence are visited on women in alarmingly increasing numbers.

My point: Even if she would have gone to the Yale lab with one or two friends, the perpetrator likely would have attempted to stalk, trap and attack Ms. Lee when she was alone and vulnerable.

What then are some of the Red Flags, or Signatures of Danger, you can use to help you profile someone you want to either stay clear of, or, more likely, prepare a self defense plan against?

v A history of violence, stalking, etc. (The Perp in this case had this history).

v He/She has stalked or harassed another worker in the past.

v Some or Many of your co-workers communicate that they also feel uncomfortable around this person.

v The worker is almost always rigid, inflexible, intransigent in how he/she handles work and social-related issues.

v Displays signs of chronic sadness, hopelessness, depression.

v The worker often states his or her hopelessness.

v The worker identifies with past perpetrators of spectacular WPV.

v A Fascination with guns and other weapons.

v Reacts poorly to criticism.

v Projects blame onto others.

v Sees himself as being on a One-Man Crusade.

Ok, so you recognize several of these factors, plus, importantly, you and others feel terribly uncomfortable around the worker, plus, and now I refer to the Yale Incident, he strides toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your PSZ (Personal Safety Zone).

What do you do?

Stay Tuned For the Next Post. Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

SURVIVAL STATES OF MIND

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

FOILING THAT EVIL MOTHER FUGGER, PART II SPINAL TUNING.

Axiomatic it is that 95 to 98% of successful self defense for women is mental preparation. The key is, of course, not to find yourself in a situation where you must fight for your life (this goes for men and children, also). So, how can you go about preparing yourself mentally? And, if you are able to achieve the Psyche of Survival, or, as I like to call it – Mental Conditioning – how do you prepare yourself physically?

Allow me to answer my second question first. Once you achieve true Mental Conditioning, you concomitantly achieve Physical Readiness through a phenomenon experts call Spinal Tuning. Spinal Tuning is the result of the crucial nexus between the mind and the body. They are inseparable.

Preparing yourself mentally comes down to establishing the appropriate state of mind. I like using colors in my trainings to describe the potential victim’s states of mind in various situations. For instance:

  • THE WHITE STATE OF MIND is a total tactically lack of awareness. This is the correct state of mind when one is in the safety of one’s home, perhaps playing with his or her children, watching television, etc.
  • THE YELLOW STATE OF MIND is a state of 180 degree awareness. Simply put, in this state one is aware of who and what surrounds him or her. It is a relaxed state of awareness. In the case of a woman at home in a White State of Mind playing with her children, she must transition to the Yellow State when the doorbell rings, even though she may have ordered pizza to be delivered. A woman in Yellow is in a relaxed state of surveillance, so she peeks through the window before answering the door and verbally asks the deliveryman to identify himself. Concomitant with being mentally alert is the message sent by the Neo Cortex through the spine to the body’s motor functions.
  • THE ORANGE STATE OF MIND is a state of specific alertness. In Yellow, a woman noticed something or someone that may threaten her safety. She now transitions to an Orange State of Mind where her Neo Cortex (Intelligent Brain) analyzes and evaluates the potential threat and then formulates a counter-strategy. Our potential victim now has a specific plan that, if required, can be downloaded to the body to carry out a physical action. I probably should note that the Evil Mother Fugger is always in an Orange State of Mind when he is on the stalk.
  • THE RED STATE OF MIND is the required state of mind for action. Whatever the woman noted in Orange that could go wrong has gone down! The mind and body is pre-armed for action, even if it simply getting the hell out of there, and the woman is able to act.
  • THE BLACK STATE OF MIND/THE CATASTROPHE THEORY! What has happened here is that the woman who answered her door in a White State of Mind never transitioned into Yellow. She has allowed herself to be the Perfect Victim that every sexual predator is searching for. In White, the victim assumes the visitor is exactly that – a friendly visitor. In the great majority of occurrences, she is right. Over 99% of the people who come to her door are friendly. So, over time, she has conditioned herself to expect passivity from those who approach her. When, however, a woman/person in White is surprised by a sudden, spontaneous and close quarter attack, the Neo Cortex shuts down and the Primitive Brain takes over. The mind desperately attempts to go to the Red State of Mind, but it cannot. It over shoots Yellow; it bypasses Orange and it fires right by Red and goes ricocheting through space until it vanishes inside a veritable Black Hole!
  • THE CATASTROPHE. When your mind fails to hit Red, it goes figuratively to Black. What that means to a woman who has been grabbed by a stranger at her front door is that the mind and body shut down, or black out. Experts know this as the Catastrophe Theory, which translates in reality to the woman:

Ø Freezing In Place. Paralyzed.

Ø Unable To Speak (and warn her children who are in the house).

Ø Executing A Victim’s Physical Countermeasure. Freeze in place; begs for mercy; screams like a victim; runs aimlessly; unable to think of escape routes or a fighting strategy. When she does strike, she slaps without aim, intent, or power!  Worse, after a few seconds, she gives up and allows the evil mother fugger to do with her what he wishes.

Ø In other words, the Catastrophe Theory means the “bottom falls out!

So, stay in yellow when appropriate. Stay out of White.

Until next time, Stay Safe.

Hammer

FOILING THE EVIL MOTHER FUGGER

Monday, August 31st, 2009

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

August 31, 2009

FOILING THE EVIL MOTHER FUGGER

It’s been a while since I last posted here, but I’ve been gone. Training out West. And, before I head off to Chicago, Cape May and Ocean City, Maryland, I thought I’d get me a couple posts in, if for no other reason than to keep myself in The Game.

I remember correctly, in my last post I went on a rant against Evil Mother Fuggers because I was in a rage over some Chicken Hawk marking, stalking, and putting an innocent young girl in the bottom of one of our lakes in the Poconos.

These miscreants dedicate and commit countless hours plotting ways to get these young boys and girls and women into their clutches. So, it makes almost too much sense for me to ask you to spend at least a few minutes a day charting out a safety plan for you and your children to help you make it to and from work and school each day. Make it back to your loving families.

If you are the parents of small children and teenagers, I ask, like I have so many times before, you to take the role of your child’s Safety Coach. Talk with him or her regularly and open up a precious dialog to give him/her an avenue to tell you of any situation where an adult has made inappropriate advances of inquiries. Also, give him/her some common sense rules of thumb about whom he/she should trust (only the rare Gold People, like his/her parents and closest, most trustworthy relatives) and some strategies to use to repel those who they shouldn’t trust.

If you are a woman, I ask that you begin thinking and planning ahead. Have a Plan A and a Failure Plan (Plan B) in your mind when you go out, or, for that matter, for when you are at home and someone comes to your door,

Of course, I Am talking in generalities in the limited time and space a blog allows me. If you E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com, I will send you my E Book on Survival Strategies for Women as well as my E Book CAT – Counter Abduction Strategies for Children.

But, in the meantime, here are a few Counter Abduction Techniques/Strategies For Children (in the next post, I will point out a few Counter-Abduction Strategies for Women) that you might consider adopting for your children:

  • SUPERVISE YOUR PRECIOUS GIFTS (THE CHILDREN) WHENEVER PRACTICABLE. Countless children have been abducted from inside their homes with the parents in another room or from their front yards with their parents less than 10 yards away.
  • SAFETY COACHES SHOULD TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO MAKE NOISE WHENEVER APPROACHED BY ANYONE NOT ON THEIR “GOLD (NOT TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY) LIST!” Predators purposely “mark”silent and “good” children as prey. They will almost always avoid noisy and “crazy” kids. Kids who scream out, move around point fingers at them, shout out “Help! This guy is not my daddy!” On the other hand, “good and polite” kids are ideal victims because they usually “freeze.” Stand in one place and say nothing defiant and let themselves be carried off!
  • SAFETY COACHES CAN TEACH THEIR CHILD NOT TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE TOUCHED. Teach your child to be wary of anyone who touches them on any part of their person without their permission, even a relative, or a teacher, priest or rabbi. Teach the child that, if possible, get away from that person as quickly as possible, especially if that person touches them on any part of their body that would be normally covered by a bathing suit.
  • SAFETY COACH CAN TEACH THEIR CHILD TO TRUST THEIR GUT FEELINGS! Ask any child who has been approached and/or grabbed by an adult and I bet that each and every one of them will tell you that they felt a weird sensation just before. Many of them don’t quite understand what is going on, but it usually means the adult is giving the kid The Creeps. Some Safety Coaches have used the kitchen smoke detector as a great teaching point, explaining that The Creeps is their Smoke Alarm and it is their gut instincts warning them that something is about to go terribly wrong unless they disengage from the area PDQ!
  • NEVER, EVER LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH THE ADULT, TEENAGER OR OTHER CHILD! I AM NOT CONTRADICTING MYSELF. Once your child gets The Creeps about another person who might cause them harm, he or she should get out of Dodge quickly. In doing so, the child should obey some pretty simple rules:

1) If the adult is real close, walk quickly or run, but without turning your back on the adult (Predator Prey Principle).

2) If the adult is close by, move in a serpentine, or zig zag, pattern.

3) Use barricades in the environment to separate you from the adult.

4) Instead of hiding nearby where you can get captured, run toward any “safe” adult – preferably a woman with children.

5) Make plenty of noise.

6) BUT, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, SHOULD THE CHILD LEAVE THE ORIGINAL AREA WITH THE ADULT!

Ø As hard as it might be for the child to do so, teach him/her to stay in the initial crime scene. Injured or not, he will be found there,

Ø But without a doubt, if he or she leaves with the predator, he or she will not be found!

7) THE KEY TO ESCAPING IS TO DELAY THE AMOUNT OF TIME THE PREDATOR MUST SPEND AT THE ORIGINAL CRIME SCENE TO GET YOUR CHILD INTO HIS CAR.

Ø This is where the Drop/Lock and Roll Technique I teach is used by the child to extend the predator’s stay in the crime scene.

Ø The crucial strategy for the abductor is to get the child whisked away quickly!

Until the next post, Stay Safe.

Hammer