Action Against Violence

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LOAD “SURPRISE” INTO YOUR SELF DEFENSE GAME PLAN, PART I.

This post was originally supposed to be for parents who wish to teach their children skills to stop the bully in his or her tracks. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the following self defense tactics and skills will work for anyone who might be required to defend her or himself against anyone who has arrogantly invaded his or her personal space and is posturing as if he or she is about to attack.

When we talk self defense, the element of surprise is essential. Remember, we are not talking about a competitive contest in a dojo or an arena overseen by a referee or a master instructor. What we are talking about is a spontaneous, close quarter life and death struggle in an environment usually selected by the attacker, who is a pernicious predator who has painstakingly planned out the assault. Likely, your attacker(s) has the following advantages:

v He/she is bigger and stronger.

v He/she has a distinct plan.

v He/she is armed with one or more (deadly) weapons.

v He/she has you *outnumbered (*when the attacker has a plan and the victim does not, the victim is already outnumbered).

v The attacker will choose the time and space of his/her attack so that the lighting is subdued, there are no witnesses, and the victim has little or no ability to move (tactically).

v The predator will almost always(98%)precede his/her attack with a slick distraction designed to get the victim looking in another direction (than at him or her) so that his or her (the prospective victim’s) focus is fractured and his/her ability to defend him or herself (against the predator) is radically weakened.

v In other words, despite all the other advantages he/she already has, the bully, sexual predator, abductor, or violent criminal, still relies mostly on The Element of Surprise to overcome his or her victim!

My point, exactly. I have no reluctance and zero hesitation to say that Surprise (ALONG WITH SPEED) is going to be your key, irrespective of your age, size, or gender to successfully defending yourself against anybody who threatens your safety, maybe even your life. Ergo in two subsequent posts, we’re going to discuss how to manifest this great element in your self defense arsenal. Used properly and with great commitment, surprise will reverse the predator-prey principle and set the bad guy back on his (or, her) heels!

SURPRISE AND SPEED KILLS!

So, what do I mean by surprise? Maybe an example will help. Have you ever been walking in the woods, perhaps your mind is lost in thought about something or someone you care about, are troubled about, and, bam, with a rush of wings flapping and bushes bursting, a covey of pheasants, or a turkey, explodes from the brush around you? It has happened to me, and, let me tell you, your heart feels like it stops, you freeze, and you can hardly breathe. Or, you are coming through a door, once again, your mind on something far away, and, bam, someone else is standing in the doorway. Someone you didn’t expect to see. Once again, you stop breathing, your mouth falls agape, and you may even stumble backwards, off balance.

I have just described exactly what” surprise” does to a person who is unaware and who is suddenly and unexpectedly confronted by a predator.

In the next two posts, though, I will tell you exactly how to Reverse the Predator-Prey Syndrome and make the Bad Guy hold his breath and stumble backwards.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

December 19, 2009

BULLY-BE-GONE!  PART I – WHAT CAN YOU DO AS A PARENT?

Not that I haven’t talked about this issue before, but, Hell’s Bells, readers, bullying is not only not going away, but, doesn’t it seem to you that it’s getting worse and worser?  I mean, a gang of bullies sets a teenager on fire!  And, in my area here, big kids are still beating on weaker kids; and when they get tired of beating on the weak, they recruit more bullies and attack the not-so-weak.

Fact is, bullying is an all too common form of violence in our society.  I’d estimate that over 30% of students are either bullies or victims.  And, parents, I could go into a lot more stats re bullying.  Its pernicious effects on both the victim and the bully. The psychological scars it leaves on the victim, scars that never, ever go away.

But, as a parent of a child who is getting bullied, do you really truly care about statistics?, I think not.  At least I wouldn’t.  “Just tell me what the hell to do, Dickwad,” is what I’d be saying.

So, okay, okay, I’ll tell you.  And I’ll start from the beginning, just in case you suspect something is awry, but you’re not sure what.  First of all, you need to be aware. Staying tuned in to your child is a big first step.  Don’t expect him or her to confide in you what is going on unless your child feels that you are tuned in and simpatico.

1. BE AWARE AND SIMPATICO RE YOUR CHILD.
2. BE AWARE OF CHANGES IN HIS/HER ATTITUDE AND/OR BEHAVIOR. For instance, a child who normally does well in school, maybe even enjoys going to school, suddenly becomes reluctant to go, maybe even gets withdrawn, depressed.  Stops doing homework.
3. ASK COGENT QUESTIONS. Mayhap not straight out “Hey, are you getting bullied? questions, but questions that show an interest in what is really happening at school.  Who is she/he hanging with.  Try not to let the child get away with vague answers.
4. ONCE YOUR SUSPICIONS ARE CONFIRMED (even if your child doesn’t clearly admit he/she is being bullied, but your suspicions are realistic, reasonable and based on an “educated intuition). CONTACT THE SCHOOL AND LET THEM KNOW.
5. TAKE ON THE ROLE OF YOUR CHILD’S SAFETY COACH. Trust me on this, you can teach your kid great counter bullying skills and techniques at home.  I do a great Bully Be Gone class, but, even when I teach that course I let the parents know that my class cannot be truly effective unless they follow-up with some support at home.  Safety Caches can teach their child some really effective skills that have worked for other children, or Would-Be Victims, including:

• TOUGH TARGET ATTITUDES. Attitude is damn near everything when it comes to discouraging a bully from even choosing your child as a victim!  In the case where your child has already been a repetitive victim, this is going to be harder, but it can work.  TTA manifest themselves when you teach your child to:
  • Walk/stride confidently, swinging your arms freely (the freer and more natural the swing the less fearful). Believe me or not, oftentimes, when you can get your child to physically mimic or replicate the attitudes and mannerisms of a Tough Target Kid, it actually inculcates and absorbs into the psyche of the youngster.  Your kid can actually convince him/herself, along with the potential bully, that he IS a Tough target Kid!
  • Scan your environment with your eyes.
  • Stand Up For Yourself. Tell the bully, “Hey, I don’t appreciate what you just said.”
  • LOOK BORED, DISINTERESTED, DEPRECIATE THE VERBAL ICON! Okay, so the bully needs to see fear in your child’s eyes.  Too bad for this numnutz.  Teach your child to Depreciate whatever the bully does or says.  By depreciating his/her words (The Verbal Icon) and/or actions, your child will be empowering him/herself while disempowering the Bully! Oftentimes, the bully will break off any planned attack.  Often, this might piss off the bully, but the child who seems disinterested and uneffected by the bully will put the bully back on his or her heels, and, all that needs too be done, is quickly distract the child, make a quick move, and get out of Dodge (see Part II).
  • SOFT EYE CONTACT. See more in Part II, but Soft Eyes restricts eye contact to an invisible triangle from the upper cheeks to the chin.  This way your child can see any movements by the hands, arms, and torso.
  • Don’t Let the Bully Back You Up. Teach your kid to protect his/her space. Do not allow the bully to invade his or her Personal Safe Zone (3-4’ in).  Teach your child to move diagonally (J-Step) to keep his or her space, but, at some point, it is up to your child to tell the bully to “Stay back!”
  • VERBALIZE. The Bully, like many other predators, is seeking to find fear in your kid’s eyes.  The bully may be posturing for an audience to prop himself, his image, up.  If your child stays silent, the bully is spurred on.  Teach your kid to verbalize in three stages:
  • Ask. “Hey, Andy, c’mon,  How about letting me go to class.  We can do this later, if you still want.”
  • Tell:  “Andy, I don’t appreciate being called that.”
  • Command.  “That’s it.  Get back.  Now!”

• TEACH YOUR CHILD THE FIGHTING ARTS. Tune in for Part II, where I will talk about some reasonable and easily doable (as well as easy-to-teach) skills designed to Stop The Bully In His Tracks.

Until then, Stay Safe

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

November 28, 2009

YOSEMITE NIGHTMARE – Using the Fighting Arts to Stop A Raging Killer.

You might’ve caught my November 25 post  – A Yosemite Nightmare – in which I talked about the park handyman who slaughtered four women (actually, I only detailed three murders; a fourth woman was attacked and decapitated in a separate attack) in maybe the most grisly way possible.  The point of the article was that the women disobeyed their gut instincts and allowed the handyman inside their cabin, then exacerbated their error by believing the psycho when he promised that they would not be harmed if they cooperated.  Went along with The Program. Of course, if you’ve been reading any of my posts regarding Self Defense for Women or Children (one of the victims was only 14), you know what The Program they will be going along with.

Humiliation, Torture Then Death is The Program.

So, I hope you’re wondering, if you were ever in a situation like this – maybe a Home Invasion, maybe a person you had trusted is now in an enclosed environment and he turns out to be a rabid wolf instead of your husband’s Best Friend, or, you and two of your women/girlfriends are coeds at a college and you’ve been invited to a special party, and the Special Party turns out to be just one horny and violent man and, well, you – what exactly do you do?

First and foremost, it is up to you.  The Number One Principle in Self Defense (For Women, Children, especially) is that Being Willing To Fight Back is more important than being able! In the Yosemite Park scenario no one knows if any of the 3 women were able to fight their killer, but we do know for sure that they were not willing. And being unwilling, when the spontaneous close quarter attack explodes in your face, translates into you and your friends freezing like statues (or deer in the headlights)and becoming ideal immovable victims!  Even if you have the ability to fight, once your mind and body is flooded by stress hormones, you are cooked, unless, of course, you—-

v      HAVE A SURVIVAL PLAN. In the business, we call this Spinal Tuning. Think ahead  and commit yourself to a plan of action, if an attack should occur.  In the Yosemite situation, if the women decided they were going to allow the handyman in to their lodge (never should they have selected this option, but let’s say the lodge verified that he was an employee and they let him in, before they might have committed themselves to the plan, if the worse case scenario went down), each needed to simply say, if this happens, I will do that and Be Willing To immediately and unhesitatingly carry out that plan when the shit hits the fan!

v      HIT THE “FIGHTING ARTS NOW” BUTTON IMMEDIATELY AND GO FOR BROKE, BABY!

• Make sure you Breathe Tactically so we can get oxygenated blood to the brain.
• There are 3 of you.  3. Either bunch up for a feeling of unity and safety, or stay in different areas of the room, so the asshole can’t cover you all with his gun (yes, he had a gun).
• Make noise and attack!  The asshole is after compliant, quiet victims.  That is why he chose you in the first place.  Get him back on his heels by attacking from different directions, throwing objects through the windows (Destroy The Environment, Baby!) so the Bad Guy knows that others in the area will know an attack is going down, which is the very last thing he wants.  Make him want to break off the attack, even though now he cannot.
• Make Your Attack Count. Three women, even if none have The Ability to fight, can reek havoc on one man.  Even if he has a gun.  If you work it right, you can make The Counterattack really work.  How?

1. Hit him from different directions.
2. Hit his “High Dollar Targets.” Limit his ability to see, to move, to breathe.  Stop him right now!  Gouge his eyes; kick his knees out; drive something into his throat!  There are 3 of you, so one of you throw something over his head (a sheet or a coat) from behind, so his ability to see anything is gone; then hit the floor behind him and have one of your friends push him over you.  Once on the floor he is yours!
3. Speed, power and multiplicity means do not delay, explode into every strike, gouge, kick.  Shed any age old compunctions you might have about hurting another human being, understanding that now he has shed his disguise and now he is a stone, cold killer and his Program he wants you to go along with calls for humiliation (ties you up and sexually assaults you), torture and death! Power means that what you hit – his Targets – all cause him to stop what he is doing and reflexively grab himself there .  Multiplicity means that you never stop fighting until there is nothing left to fight!  Comprende?

>     BE TARGET AND TASK FOCUSED.  DO NOT ALLOW FEAR TO SLOW YOU DOWN! I always advise my students to focus only on the targets he or she needs to hit.  Be Task Oriented.  This means learning what your best personal weapons are and how to use them against the assailants open targets! I also point out that when the Bad Guy engages you with one or both hands, he has no or limited ability to block incoming strikes or gouges to his vital targets (knees, eyes, throat, groin).

And, finally, what about the handgun the Bad Guy is wielding? Great question.  Since this is the Yosemite situation, let me again point out that there are 3 of you and he can only shoot one, maybe two of you before you get to him.  Sounds bad, I know, but consider this:  In the real scenario, the handyman tied up, tortured and killed all 3.  Plus, the gun was not loaded.  Here are some things to think about:

1. Even if you are shot, chances are better than 60% you will not die from your wound, if help can be retrieved within an hour.
2. Under stress – and the killer is under stress, also – it is not easy to hit a moving target.  Chances are better than 45% that, if you move fast and use barricades (furniture in the room, etc), you will not be hit, or, if hit, may be able to avoid a hit to a vital target.
3. Guns and knives are brandished against victims because they instill great trepidation, fear and usually gain cooperation.  If and when the assailant brandishes a deadly weapon for this reason, he is not always immediately willing and able to use it, meaning a quick counterattack can render that weapon almost inoperable,  In the Yosemite case, the gun was not even loaded!

Stay Safe Until My Next Post.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

October 17, 2009

ESCAPE AND EVADE THE CHILD ABDUCTOR DAMN NEAR EVERY TIME. PART III

If you are a parent committed to protecting your child against the evil Chicken Hawk (child molester/abductor) and you’ve been reading along with me, you know that in Parts I and II we talked about the importance of teaching your child the importance of doing everything she or he can do to always stay in the Initial Crime Scene (the medium-to-high-witness environment where your child was approached and attacked by the pervert), and, perhaps even more importantly, employing cool delaying techniques to expand the amount of time the predator is required to spend in the ICS in order to trap and abduct his prey.

Research shows that about 95 to 97% of the predators will break off their intended abduction attempt when they are faced with any determined resistance, included direct, challenging eye contact, verbal challenge, or even the appearance of readiness on the part of the child. As a matter of fact, most sexual predators won’t even seriously pursue a child who even looks like she or he is alert, aware and prepared to resist (The Tough Target Personality, of which I spoke in Part I).

But, hold the phone, Safety Coaches (you parents who are valiantly and tirelessly committed to coaching your children on these survival skills). What about the rare predator who may still attack your child despite his or her best delaying tactics? These are desperate and violent criminals who are determined to capture a victim for whatever reason that is driving them.

KID ESCAPE TECHNIQUES WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS.

1. THE FIGHTING ARTS AND TARGET FOCUSED TECHNIQUES. Let’s face it: Sending your kids to a martial arts class is a great idea, but no 8 or 10 year-old is going to whip a large, desperate, adult violent sex offender with fancy spin-kicks and the sort. I teach children, when they are grabbed by the adult, to look for open and vulnerable Primary Targets (targets that can stop the adult from breathing, seeing, moving after them). The adult’s hands will be occupied pulling the child in, so gouge the eyes with the fingers and thumb; strike the throat with a Beak Strike or the ridge of the hand; drive his or her forehead hard into the Bad Guy’s nose; kick or knee the groin and be ready for follow-up strikes. I have addressed how to perform each of the above-referenced strikes in previous posts, and, upon request I will go into them in more detail. The key is to strike or gouge a vital target and keep hitting, squirming, kicking and screaming until you are released. Safety Coaches can use props like the cardboard cylinder from a roll of toilet paper to replicate the delicate tissue of the throat, a soft pillow to gouge instead of the eyes.
2. IMPROVISED WEAPONS. Safety Coaches can teach their children how to use items that they normally would be carrying. A loud whistle can scare off a predator. A bright intensive light from a small flashlight in his eyes. Punching in 9-1-1 on a cell phone and saying “;Police—“ will also influence an attacker to back off. However, don’t forget the pure surprise impact of striking with that improvised weapon. Teach your child how to hold the cell phone low, as if it weren’t a weapon, and, then, as the predator closes in, drive the hard edge of the cell hard into his throat. Other improvised weapons can be a set of keys; a wallet; a purse or handbag; a rolled up newspaper; a book, you name it. Once again, Improvised Weapons and how to use them have been addressed in previous posts.
3. DROP LOCK AND ROLL. If and when the predator grabs your child and actually carries him or her to a car, an alley (Secondary Crime Scene), wherever, the Drop-Lock-and Roll is a great technique to teach your child. I have several DVD’s from my Kid Escape Program teaching each component of the escape move, and I will send one to you upon request (at cost) In short, I advocate one of two moves:

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER ONE. You know how hard it is trying to hold on to a puppy or kitten that doesn’t want to be held. Think of it. Ever try to scoop up your kid in a store when he or she really did not want to go? I simply add a surprise move to the formula. Secret Move A: For the initial 10 to 20 seconds the child acts as if he is paralyzed with fear, which by the way, is just what the abductor expects and wants. Invoke a false sense of security. As soon as the abductor loosens his grip – which he will when he pauses to open the door on his van, etc., teach your child to suddenly begin to kick and squirm and head butt and bite and claw until he becomes impossible to hold. This will result in the child slipping in the Bad Guy’s grip. Teach your child to deliver whatever strikes or moves that will enable him or her to escape, but, more likely thank not, she or he will have to resort to Escape Move Number Two.

v ESCAPE MOVE NUMBER TWO. This is what I call “Drop-Lock and Roll.” John Hall, the founder of Kid Escape, invented this and calls it by a different name. Like I said, I have the DVD. E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com and I will mail it to you at cost.

1. Delaying and Evasive Tactic Number One is the child will make it difficult to impossible for the adult to carry him or her into a vehicle. Squirm and turn toward the adult and when the grip is loosened teach the child to dive head first toward the abductors legs and latch on with both hands. If the Bad Guy has the child high, we advocate the child diving head first over the Bad Guy’s head and dive toward his buttocks, grabbing on to the Bad Guy’s waist first and squirming and working his or her way down to the subject’s legs.

2. DELAYING AND EVASIVE TACTIC NUMBER TWO has the child making him or herself impossible to hold by shimmying down the legs all the way to the feet. Latch on to one foot with both hands and now spin around and latch on to the other ankle by crossing both feet.

v ESCAPING FROM THE PREDATOR’S VEHICLE. Two key tactics. If, for whatever reason, the child IS abducted from the Initial Crime Scene and is about to be thrown into the vehicle:

1. THIS IS WHERE THE BAD GUY WILL LOOSEN HIS GRIP. Choose this exact moment to Drop/Lock/Roll. Enhance this move by kicking both feet against the front seat as the Bad Guy is trying to toss the child into the seat.

2. DO NOT LET THIS MISCREANT DRIVE YOUR CHILD AWAY! In my CAT or Kid Escape class I teach kids and parents not to ever give up. It is life or death important that the Bad Guy not be allowed to drive off with your child! I advocate several strategies, including:

1) Delay the inevitable by tossing the “male” seat belt buckle in the doorway to jam the door from closing.

2) Use The Element Of Surprise:

Ø Teach your child how to quickly unlock the passenger side door. Repeat the drill 50 times.

Ø Teach your child to act scared – which will not be an act, at all – and reach for the abductor.

Ø The abductor most likely will respond positively to the child wanting to hug him.

Ø Once in this position (face to face on the abductor’s lap/I know what you’re thinking: Scary), Latch on tight to the predator/Bite/gouge his eyes/grab the keys from the ignition and toss them out the window, and, if possible, scramble to the passenger door, open it and escape.

Ø Worse comes to worse, if your child n the Face-To-Face Position, how comfortable do you think an abductor would be driving on the streets or highway with a child who is not his on his lap, face-to-face, screaming?

Until Next Time. Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

October 15, 2009

Escape and Evade the Child Predator Damn Near Every Time. PART I.

It’s what I do. Study depressing statistics and the tactical trends of violence and I design trainings to somehow neutralize the threat. One person at a time. Or, if I’m lucky, one small class of people at a time. Suffice it to say that the statistics – and trends – behind child abductions in the United States is staggering. Something like 400,000 children a year. 1000 kids a day. Gone.

The National Center for Missing Children suggests that once a child is abducted by a predator (as opposed to a family member in a custody battle), we have a very short window to save the abducted child. It also suggests that a plan of action and good information are a family’s best defense against losing a child to an abductor. Moreover, the National Center for Missing and Abducted Children studied 403 attempted kidnappings from February, 2005 to July, 2006 and discovered a ray of hope for concerned parents. Children who fought their attacker had a 60% chance of escaping their abductor and about 10% of the children who were attacked were able to escape their abductor “when an adult or another child just happened by—“

The implications for a practical Escape and Evasion Survival System – at least to me – are undeniable. What children really need is a self defense training system that:

v Can be learned quickly.

v Is retainable.

v Is easy to perform under high survival stress situations.

v Can be taught at home or in school by a parent, guardian and/or teacher.

Hello. How about my CAT (Counter Abduction Technique) training program?

CAT Design. Simply and briefly put, CAT is designed around the Tactical Trends or scheme of the sexual predator. Through ardent research and personal experience (as a Pa. State Parole Officer), I know that the predator depends on several factors to allow him to abduct his prey:

v The universal sweetness of children, who are socialized to trust and believe all adults.

v The timidity of his prey.

v Silence or a lack of disturbance of the environment by the victim/child, thereby lacking any ability to alert witnesses.

v The readiness of nearby adults to believe an adult over a child.

v The removal of the victim/child from the Initial Crime Scene, which is usually a high-witness area, to a pre-planned isolated Secondary Crime Scene where the predator will be able to do whatever he wishes to do to the child for as long as he wishes without any possible interference.

v And, above all else, the predator depends upon and relies upon the element of speed. It is crucial to the abductor that he is able to take the child with the least amount of notice as quickly as possible before another child, adult, or the police can intervene.

CAT TECHNIQUES & TACTICS , therefore, teaches and promotes strategies that will transform an ideal victim/child into a Tough Target Child. Simply put, the TTC will be taught by his/her instructor or parents (Safety Coaches) to always do the following, which, by the way, is easy to teach and easy to do:

v BREATHE, TALK AND MOVE. The predator almost always chooses victims who are quiet, timid and still. Nine out of 10 victims, whether they be children or adults, FREEZE AT FIRST TOUCH. Teach your child to be a Tough Target who uses First Touch as a trigger to explode into action. I teach children to quickly swing their arms and hands toward their head – as if they were Elvis combing his hair – to escape the inevitable arm grab and then step and move away and shout at the abductor. If there are others in the area, shout “Hey, this guy is not my father!” Children should also make direct eye contact with the predator so he knows the child knows what he is up to. Many will break off the attack and move on at this point.  As for breathing, 9 out of 10 who freeze when first attacked will ALSO HOLD THEIR BREATH!  Doing that assures that no oxygenated blood will reach the brain or the Central Nervous System.  Result:  A child who resembles a frozen rabbit.  In other words, an ideal victim!

v ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR SPACE. I use a Hula Hoop during the early phase of my CAT or Kid Escape classes. Kids love hula hoops, and, of course, asking them to hold a hula hoop around their waist is a non-threatening way to define the radius of their Personal Safety Zone (have your child hold the hoop tight against their back side and study the space created by the hula hoop in front of them). I tell them that they should allow no adult, save for those on their Gold List inside that PSZ. Safety Coaches can run role play scenarios with the child and teach them what to do if and when a non-Gold Lister attempts to enter their space without his or her permission.

Ø J-Step Away.

Ø Ste-Slide Away, recreating their space.

Ø Place an environmental barricade between him/her (the child) and the adult.

· DISENGAGE, IF POSSIBLE. Safety Coaches must teach their children to be observant, To notice adult/strangers who do not seem to belong on the scene, who appear to be paying too much attention to the child. Being observant will also trigger the child’s Gut Instincts, better known to children as “The Creeps.” Advise your child to always trust those feelings. At your child’s

· earliest opportunity he/she should put as much distance between himself and the adult as possible. How, you might ask?

Ø Always try to remain in the company of at least one other child. Two children have an 80% less of a chance of being abducted.

Ø Run in a zig zag, or serpentine fashion.

Ø Destroy the Environment. Throw object at the Bad Guy’s feet, knock objects over. Try to draw attention to yourself. Make a scene.

Ø Try not to turn your back on the adult. Turning your back triggers the Predator instinct in the abductor and he will catch you. Keep your eye on him and run sideways.

BY ALL MEANS, THE KEY TO INFLUENCING THE MOLESTOR TO BREAK OFF HIS ATTACK IS TO REFUSE TO LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH HIM AND TO MAKE HIM SPEND MORE TIME THAN HE WOULD LIKE IN THAT INITIAL CRIME SCENE!

More on delaying the Bad Guy at the Scene in the next post.

Stay safe until then.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 28, 2009

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE(WPV) – WHAT TO DO?

A couple posts back I promised to talk about what to do if ever you are caught in a volatile workplace scenario where it is apparent either a patient, resident, client, or co-worker is about to perpetrate some serious hurt on you or another worker.

First of all, there are basically four types of WPV:

1) Violence at the hands of patients/clients.

2) Violence Associated with robbery and other crimes.

3) Domestic Violence that spills over into the workplace.

4) Violence among co-workers and managers.

In any of these cases, when you feel there is a threat of violence – and here I am mostly talking Domestic Violence Spillover; Violence at the hands of clients and Violence among workers – do your best to report your feelings and observations to superiors at the site. My research shows that over 85% of WPV could have been prevented if reported. Of course, often events and observations go unreported because the workplace has either a poor reputation for investigating complaints fairly (and for keeping whistle-blowers anonymous), or no capability.

COUNTER-WPV STRATEGIES

There are 4 stages of WPV, each ascending stage more dangerous than the preceding stage. WPV ranges from shouting obscenities to mass murder. Therefore, when I allude to Counter WPV Strategies, I am referring to strategies against Stage 4 Type WPV (Simple Assault; Aggravated Assault; Sexual Assault; Rape; Active Shooter in the Workplace; etc.).

v TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You wouldn’t ignore a Smoke Detector or a Fire Alarm, would you? When you get that feeling that something is wrong, there is.

v HAVE A WPV PLAN. If you are lucky, you have a forward-thinking employer, who not only has a (Natural) Disaster Plan, a Fire-Escape Plan, but has a plan for Violence in the WP, too, including:

Ø A WPV Chain Of Command.

Ø An Assigned Laison with police.

Ø All employees must know how and when to contact Security and/or the Pre-Assigned Chain Of Command in an emergency.

Ø A Communication System to alert workers.

Ø A Lockdown and/or Evacuation Plan.

· HAVE YOUR OWN WPV PLAN. Seriously, with violence in the WP growing at exponential rates, you should have a Personal Safety Strategy, including, but not limited to answers to the following crucial questions:

Ø What can I use as an improvised weapon to protect me at my job site?

Ø Do I know where the alarms are? Do I know the Chain of Command and how to contact Security?

Ø What items at my site could a perpetrator use as a weapon against me?

Ø Is my work site (desk, etc.) situated so that I can escape, or am I trapped here?

O CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Use your environment to control your space. Prevent the Bad Guy from entering your PSZ (Personal safety Zone).  Use barricades, such as desks, chairs, AV equipment, waste cans, et al, to gain distance from the perpetrator, or to throw at him to delay his or her approach.

v STRENGTH IN NUMBERS. If possible, call on others whom you trust to gather with you against the perpetrator.

AND, IF YOU ARE THINKING, WELL, GOSH, THESE SUGGESTIONS ARE COMMON SENSE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS, JUST ALLOW ME TO SAY THAT, IN A CRISIS THE RAREST COMMODITY IS COMMON SENSE! IT IS BEST TO THINK AHEAD. ALWAYS!

STAY SAFE.

HAMMER

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 26, 2009

BEDROOM SURPRISE

Ever ask yourself what would I do if ever I was attacked while I was asleep? I get the question a lot at my Survival Skills for Women classes. I get a lot of questions about darn near every conceivable type of attack under every situation possible, and some that are not possible. I’ll get to some of those other questions in future posts, but, for now, I thought I’d wax on about what you might if ever you were attacked in bed.

Once again, I’m going to ask you to rely on a cluster of dependable and effective principles rather than specific techniques that you would have to dredge up from your subconscious while some creep is pinning you down and your heart rate is spiking through the roof as the result of survival stress.

These Principles are simple and there aren’t too many of them. They are the same for just about any type of attack, including the bedroom assault.

v Breathe Tactically. Most victims in this situation hold their breath and say nothing, which to the attacker is like an engraved invitation to have fun, do whatever you wish to me.

v Do Something. Never Freeze.

v Say Something. Freezing and staying mute in the face of a life and death attack empowers the villain and disempowers you! “Get back!”

v Hit An Open Target. It’s damned near Natural Law. At least one of the 3 or 4 vital targets will be open. Hit it hard and others will pop open.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. TURN HIS EXPECTATION AGAINST HIM!

Hold the phone. You say, “well, that’s all fine and dandy, but, you see, I will almost always be under my sheet and blanket. It is likely that I will not be able to use my hands.

Good point. Here’s another point: If you are unable to use your personal weapons now, understand that at some point in this ordeal, the Bad Guy must let down his defenses, which is exactly when you can and must strike!

If the attacker is there simply to pound you and nothing else, you are in serious doo-doo, if your arms are pinned (domestic violence), I admit that. But, in the scenario of a rapist who is attacking you in your bed, more likely than not, he will eventually pull down the covers in order to do what it is he came to do. When he pulls the sheets away, it is your time to deliver the Bedroom Surprise.

Ok, lets assume now the covers are off and your hands and feet are free.

ASSAULTS AND ESCAPES

v Bad Guy is standing at the side of your bed. You awake. Raise the leg on the side where the assailant is standing. This will prevent him – believe it or not – from climbing on top of you. Two things to consider here:

(1) None of his targets are available to you. They may be open, but there is no way you can hit them.

(2) However, in order to harm you, he must get closer to you. If and when he bends to choke you, his eyes are now within your reach. Quickly drive the closest hand into his eyes. If you hit them, he will recoil, I guarantee it. When he does that, either dive off the bed in the other direction, or, better yet, roll off toward him and knee him in the groin and keep hitting him until you can escape safely.

v Bad Guy is sitting on your chest and he has both your hands pinned above your head. You might say to yourself, I am truly screwed here. Cannot blame you one iota because this is a very hard attack to escape, especially when you lack upper body strength. A good thing to remember is the Bad Guy expects you to try to escape by pushing him off of you. It is important that you use the element of surprise here, though.

(1) Bend both your legs bringing them right up close so that your thighs are against his buttocks, making sure to keep both heels flat on the deck. The crucial move is to distract the attacker by biting him or kicking him and then jerking your hands quickly so that both hands are now even with your shoulders.

(2) Either Pretend to give up, or throw him off.

NOTE: Think about this. Both of the Bad Guy’s hands are tied up, as are yours. This is a stand-off. Women have escaped this situation by crying and saying “I give up,” at which time the attacker loosened his grip and reached to unzip his fly. It is at that very second that he is most off-balance and thrusting him off of you is most easily accomplished).

(3) To throw him off, simultaneously power both arms down toward your sides and thrust your hips/buttocks straight up and then roll so that your navel or belt buckle is driven directly into the ground.

v BAD GUY SITS ON YOUR CHEST, PINNING BOTH ARMS WITH INSIDE OF KNEES. The Bad Guy may try to force you into performing oral sex. This is actually a vulnerable situation the Bad Guy has placed himself in. Instantaneously raise your buttocks off the bed and anchor both heels to the inside of his shoulders. Now pull him backwards by driving your legs back.

Next: More Bedroom Escapes.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

September 25, 2009

WORKPLACE VIOLENCE: SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?

The question my last post left you with was: “So, despite your efforts to prevent being victimized, your co-worker or client is striding toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your Personal Safety Zone (PSZ). What do you do?

At the risk of oversimplifying the situation, there are a few things I would do as quickly as possible. And, if I may add, I would do them decisively and, importantly without hesitation caused by thoughts and/or concerns regarding my company’s Zero Tolerance of Violence Protocol.

See, the thing is, the key difference between you and the person about to main or kill you (and I am still thinking of Ms. Lee, the Yale graduate student who was choked and beaten to death and stuffed inside a wall on her wedding day) is intent. The perpetrator’s sole thought and focus is on you. You are the target and nothing else on Earth exists. If your mind and focus shifts to anything but your attacker – even for a millisecond – you are toast.

Anywho, there are a few things I would do and do quickly:

v STUN THE HYPER-FOCUSED IDIOT. A great tactic is to take the attacker’s strengths and mindset and turn them against him/her. We know he is focused only on you, so break his focus. Think of it as Changing His/Her Channels. Any move that changes his focus from Channel 6, which he wants to be on, to another channel will slow him down, fragment his strategy, and split the crucial connection between his/her mind and body.

Ø Scream or Yell “Stop!” Sounds stupid, but this will work. It will only work one time, but it will startle him, maybe give you time to escape.

Ø Physically Distract Him/Her. This, too, will work. Has worked for me on several occasions. Throw an object toward him, toward his face – something like a hat, a pen, something.

Ø Verbally Distract Him or Her. “Holy crap, Andy, what the hell is that on your shirt?” said while backing up and pointing at his chest. Once again, it has the effect of changing his or her channel.

v CONTROL YOUR SPACE. Without crossing your feet (and tripping) J-Step or move diagonally or laterally away, denying the subject the ability to invade your safety zone. Let him know what you want him to do. Say something, and when you say it, mean business. “Stay Back!” The longer you can delay the attack the better your chances for survival.

v USE BARRICADES IN THE ENVIRONMENT. Hopefully, your mind will have the ability to think clearly. There should be furniture in your environment that you can use to separate you from the attacker. Increase your distance from the perpetrator. Maybe throw a chair or something else at his feet. Always keep moving.

v BREATHE DON’T FREEZE. We all need oxygenated blood flowing freely so our brains can analyze, evaluate. And formulate a survival strategy. Always breathe consciously to kick you into gear.

v USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE AND DEFEND YOURSELF. I have discussed surprise strategies in so many past posts that I don’t think I will go into them here and now. Not only that, Tactics of Surprise cannot be taught in a blog. They must come from you depending on what you perceive the attacker least expects.

v EXECUTE THE PLAN YOU HAD DEVELOPED. The reason I say I know what I would do in this or that case is I know I would always have a Plan A and even a Plan B (failure plan)  in mind before any attack began, especially if I found myself in a situation where I felt an attack was a possibility.

Stay Safe.

Hammer

FOILING THAT EVIL MOTHER FUGGER, PART II SPINAL TUNING.

Axiomatic it is that 95 to 98% of successful self defense for women is mental preparation. The key is, of course, not to find yourself in a situation where you must fight for your life (this goes for men and children, also). So, how can you go about preparing yourself mentally? And, if you are able to achieve the Psyche of Survival, or, as I like to call it – Mental Conditioning – how do you prepare yourself physically?

Allow me to answer my second question first. Once you achieve true Mental Conditioning, you concomitantly achieve Physical Readiness through a phenomenon experts call Spinal Tuning. Spinal Tuning is the result of the crucial nexus between the mind and the body. They are inseparable.

Preparing yourself mentally comes down to establishing the appropriate state of mind. I like using colors in my trainings to describe the potential victim’s states of mind in various situations. For instance:

• THE WHITE STATE OF MIND is a total tactically lack of awareness. This is the correct state of mind when one is in the safety of one’s home, perhaps playing with his or her children, watching television, etc.
• THE YELLOW STATE OF MIND is a state of 180 degree awareness. Simply put, in this state one is aware of who and what surrounds him or her. It is a relaxed state of awareness. In the case of a woman at home in a White State of Mind playing with her children, she must transition to the Yellow State when the doorbell rings, even though she may have ordered pizza to be delivered. A woman in Yellow is in a relaxed state of surveillance, so she peeks through the window before answering the door and verbally asks the deliveryman to identify himself. Concomitant with being mentally alert is the message sent by the Neo Cortex through the spine to the body’s motor functions.
• THE ORANGE STATE OF MIND is a state of specific alertness. In Yellow, a woman noticed something or someone that may threaten her safety. She now transitions to an Orange State of Mind where her Neo Cortex (Intelligent Brain) analyzes and evaluates the potential threat and then formulates a counter-strategy. Our potential victim now has a specific plan that, if required, can be downloaded to the body to carry out a physical action. I probably should note that the Evil Mother Fugger is always in an Orange State of Mind when he is on the stalk.
• THE RED STATE OF MIND is the required state of mind for action. Whatever the woman noted in Orange that could go wrong has gone down! The mind and body is pre-armed for action, even if it simply getting the hell out of there, and the woman is able to act.
• THE BLACK STATE OF MIND/THE CATASTROPHE THEORY! What has happened here is that the woman who answered her door in a White State of Mind never transitioned into Yellow. She has allowed herself to be the Perfect Victim that every sexual predator is searching for. In White, the victim assumes the visitor is exactly that – a friendly visitor. In the great majority of occurrences, she is right. Over 99% of the people who come to her door are friendly. So, over time, she has conditioned herself to expect passivity from those who approach her. When, however, a woman/person in White is surprised by a sudden, spontaneous and close quarter attack, the Neo Cortex shuts down and the Primitive Brain takes over. The mind desperately attempts to go to the Red State of Mind, but it cannot. It over shoots Yellow; it bypasses Orange and it fires right by Red and goes ricocheting through space until it vanishes inside a veritable Black Hole!
• THE CATASTROPHE. When your mind fails to hit Red, it goes figuratively to Black. What that means to a woman who has been grabbed by a stranger at her front door is that the mind and body shut down, or black out. Experts know this as the Catastrophe Theory, which translates in reality to the woman:

Ø Freezing In Place. Paralyzed.

Ø Unable To Speak (and warn her children who are in the house).

Ø Executing A Victim’s Physical Countermeasure. Freeze in place; begs for mercy; screams like a victim; runs aimlessly; unable to think of escape routes or a fighting strategy. When she does strike, she slaps without aim, intent, or power!  Worse, after a few seconds, she gives up and allows the evil mother fugger to do with her what he wishes.

Ø In other words, the Catastrophe Theory means the “bottom falls out!

So, stay in yellow when appropriate. Stay out of White.

Until next time, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

August 31, 2009

FOILING THE EVIL MOTHER FUGGER

It’s been a while since I last posted here, but I’ve been gone. Training out West. And, before I head off to Chicago, Cape May and Ocean City, Maryland, I thought I’d get me a couple posts in, if for no other reason than to keep myself in The Game.

I remember correctly, in my last post I went on a rant against Evil Mother Fuggers because I was in a rage over some Chicken Hawk marking, stalking, and putting an innocent young girl in the bottom of one of our lakes in the Poconos.

These miscreants dedicate and commit countless hours plotting ways to get these young boys and girls and women into their clutches. So, it makes almost too much sense for me to ask you to spend at least a few minutes a day charting out a safety plan for you and your children to help you make it to and from work and school each day. Make it back to your loving families.

If you are the parents of small children and teenagers, I ask, like I have so many times before, you to take the role of your child’s Safety Coach. Talk with him or her regularly and open up a precious dialog to give him/her an avenue to tell you of any situation where an adult has made inappropriate advances of inquiries. Also, give him/her some common sense rules of thumb about whom he/she should trust (only the rare Gold People, like his/her parents and closest, most trustworthy relatives) and some strategies to use to repel those who they shouldn’t trust.

If you are a woman, I ask that you begin thinking and planning ahead. Have a Plan A and a Failure Plan (Plan B) in your mind when you go out, or, for that matter, for when you are at home and someone comes to your door,

Of course, I Am talking in generalities in the limited time and space a blog allows me. If you E-Mail me at harrywigder@rcn.com, I will send you my E Book on Survival Strategies for Women as well as my E Book CAT – Counter Abduction Strategies for Children.

But, in the meantime, here are a few Counter Abduction Techniques/Strategies For Children (in the next post, I will point out a few Counter-Abduction Strategies for Women) that you might consider adopting for your children:

• SUPERVISE YOUR PRECIOUS GIFTS (THE CHILDREN) WHENEVER PRACTICABLE. Countless children have been abducted from inside their homes with the parents in another room or from their front yards with their parents less than 10 yards away.
• SAFETY COACHES SHOULD TEACH THEIR CHILDREN TO MAKE NOISE WHENEVER APPROACHED BY ANYONE NOT ON THEIR “GOLD (NOT TOTALLY TRUSTWORTHY) LIST!” Predators purposely “mark”silent and “good” children as prey. They will almost always avoid noisy and “crazy” kids. Kids who scream out, move around point fingers at them, shout out “Help! This guy is not my daddy!” On the other hand, “good and polite” kids are ideal victims because they usually “freeze.” Stand in one place and say nothing defiant and let themselves be carried off!
• SAFETY COACHES CAN TEACH THEIR CHILD NOT TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE TOUCHED. Teach your child to be wary of anyone who touches them on any part of their person without their permission, even a relative, or a teacher, priest or rabbi. Teach the child that, if possible, get away from that person as quickly as possible, especially if that person touches them on any part of their body that would be normally covered by a bathing suit.
• SAFETY COACH CAN TEACH THEIR CHILD TO TRUST THEIR GUT FEELINGS! Ask any child who has been approached and/or grabbed by an adult and I bet that each and every one of them will tell you that they felt a weird sensation just before. Many of them don’t quite understand what is going on, but it usually means the adult is giving the kid The Creeps. Some Safety Coaches have used the kitchen smoke detector as a great teaching point, explaining that The Creeps is their Smoke Alarm and it is their gut instincts warning them that something is about to go terribly wrong unless they disengage from the area PDQ!
• NEVER, EVER LEAVE THE INITIAL CRIME SCENE WITH THE ADULT, TEENAGER OR OTHER CHILD! I AM NOT CONTRADICTING MYSELF. Once your child gets The Creeps about another person who might cause them harm, he or she should get out of Dodge quickly. In doing so, the child should obey some pretty simple rules:

1) If the adult is real close, walk quickly or run, but without turning your back on the adult (Predator Prey Principle).

2) If the adult is close by, move in a serpentine, or zig zag, pattern.

3) Use barricades in the environment to separate you from the adult.

4) Instead of hiding nearby where you can get captured, run toward any “safe” adult – preferably a woman with children.

5) Make plenty of noise.

6) BUT, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, SHOULD THE CHILD LEAVE THE ORIGINAL AREA WITH THE ADULT!

Ø As hard as it might be for the child to do so, teach him/her to stay in the initial crime scene. Injured or not, he will be found there,

Ø But without a doubt, if he or she leaves with the predator, he or she will not be found!

7) THE KEY TO ESCAPING IS TO DELAY THE AMOUNT OF TIME THE PREDATOR MUST SPEND AT THE ORIGINAL CRIME SCENE TO GET YOUR CHILD INTO HIS CAR.

Ø This is where the Drop/Lock and Roll Technique I teach is used by the child to extend the predator’s stay in the crime scene.

Ø The crucial strategy for the abductor is to get the child whisked away quickly!

Until the next post, Stay Safe.

Hammer