DEFUSE DISRUPTIVE CO-WORKERS, PART II.

 

In my last post I addressed the “D” of my training acronym D.E.F.U.S.E., which I consider the center piece of my Advanced De-escalation Techniques and Management of Workplace Violence Programs.  Today I thought we could take a look at the E.

 

D.E.F.U.S.E.

 

ENCOURAGE THE subject to Vent and Ego Suspension.

 

Both strategies, I think, go hand-in-hand.  It takes a strong sense of self, or, better put, a strong Ego to, ironically, eliminate one’s Ego in a confrontation with a Disruptive Subject who is cascading toward violence.  When I suggest to allow the person to vent is also to suggest that the worker or manager take a Win/Win approach to the confrontation instead of the conventional Win/Lose Philosophy that many managers who carry their egos with them into the confrontation.  The manager/worker does not have to win at the expense of the disruptive subject.  Whatever is triggering him or her must mean a lot to that person in order for him or her to become disruptive. 

 

So, encourage him or her to vent.  Ask Artful Questions designed to under-stimulate the scene rather than to over-stimulate.  Mirror what you see him or her doing or feeling.  Always remain calm, Cycle Breathe.  Calm is as contagious as anger (Ego) and/or fear.  It is crucial for the worker/manager to listen to what the subject is saying.  I mean really listen.  Not waiting for your opportunity to say something brilliant (Ego and Win/Lose).  Listen reflectively. When you really listen you can paraphrase back  what you believe he or she is saying (content) and/or feeling (emotions).  Even if you are wrong, you can demonstrate you are concerned.

 

You probably know better than I what questions are Artful and which are not, but some of the questions that almost always work for me to encourage venting always begin with:  “Jim (or, whatever the name). Would you mind if I asked you a question?”  I really don’t care if he minds or not, but I do want to get his or her attention, to momentarily stop him from ranting and raving.  “Jim, what’s the matter?” seems better than, “Hey!  What’s the problem here?” 

 

Combining Empathy (see the next post and Understand Feelings), Mirroring Body Language with the Artful Question seems to be another excellent way for encouraging positive venting.  “Jim, check yourself out.  Your muscles are popping out of your shirt and you look tense.  You are obviously amped up What’s the matter?  Is there anything I can say or do to help?”

 

Might not be a bad idea to point out that it is terrific to encourage a person to vent, but the worker/manager must always establish limits early on and enforce those limitations when venting goes too far.  Damaging property and threatening a manager/worker or others is never acceptable.

 

A major tenet of Verbal Judo is that the more Ego you bring into a confrontation the less your safety and power.  I believe that “ego” is one of the most dangerous words in the lexicon of law enforcement as well as the work place.  A manager who carries his or her ego into any and all interactions will almost always depend upon coming out on top (Win/Lose) in any confrontational situational.  Also, in any confrontational scenario, he/she will turn inward, toward the ego, in order to find insults, put downs and other “implements of Win/Lose” to stay “on top.”  I firmly believe, however, when one turns inward, he or she is no longer tactically aware of what is going on around him or her.

 

At the end of the day, it is the manager/worker who believes in the ancient warrior and philosopher Tsun Tse’s axiom of Mizu No Kikoro who will only “win” when the agitated worker or client also is able to win.  To save face. 

 

The ancient words mean:  Mind like clear water.  When one removes ego from the equation, he or she is calm, his “waters” are calm and when they are calm they are clear.  One can see all the way to the bottom.  However, when one brings his ego into the interaction, the waters are roiled, stirred, and all the silt and rocks and mud are stirred and one can never see past the surface.

 

And the answer to the problem is rarely near the surface. 

 

In Part III we complete the D.E.F.U.S.E. equation.  Until then, stay safe.

Hammer

 

 

 

 

 

D.E.F.U.S.E. Workplace Violence Perpetrators.

 

A Truism.  Ninety-seven to ninety-eight percent of all confrontations with disruptive or even violent people can be resolved quickly, safely and effectively with the use of professional communications, or Pro Com, emblematic of the Advanced De-Escalation Techniques Program or paradigm I offer teachers, security staff, Human Services and Health Care Professionals, law enforcement officers and others.

 

Take a peek at the next couple posts and maybe –if you think my Primary Principles of Defusing Others makes sense – consider trying these techniques, principles and skills the next time you are confronted by one or more aggressive workers. patients,students or inmates in seemingly untenable situations, and I believe you will find – like I have in soooo many confrontational and potentially dangerous situations – that they will work just as well for you.

 

THE DEFUSE FORMULA

 

Don’t Lose Your Cool.  Depersonalize.  Deflect instead of Absorb Verbal Attacks.  Depreciate the Verbal Icon.

 

Encourage the person to vent.  Ego Suspension.

 

Find out the Facts.

Understand Feelings.

Slow Everything Down.

End on a Positive Note.

 

THE “D” IN “DEFUSE.”

 

Likely, I could write a book on how adhering to my “D” tenets could aide in any campaign to minimize Workplace Violence.  Let’s take a look at each separate “D.”

 

Don’t Lose Your Cool.  This is so simple and obvious that I can almost hear the “No Duh’s” as I type.  And I can’t really count how many times people have commented to me, “Hammer, this is just Common Sense—“ but, here’s a fact:  The rarest commodity in a crisis is Common Sense.  And, so it is with Keeping Your Cool.  Losing one’s cool in a critical situation is far more common than the crucial skills of staying cool when everyone else is “hot.”  Here are a few salient Tips On Keeping Your Cool:

• Slow Everything Down.  Take the time to consciously think of what is happening.  Rushing triggers the Primitive Brain, which is dominant when we make critical and stupid statements that trigger violence.  Slow everything down and allow your Neo Cortex, or Intelligent Brain. To go to work.  Slow down your speech, the way you walk, your approach.  Everything.
• Breathe.  Try Tactical or Cycle Breathing to slow down your heart rate and eliminate or reduce the (survival) stress hormones flooding your system.  Without oxygenated blood flowing to your brain you can’t possibly think and act in such a way and in such a manner as to de-escalate a out of control subject.

 

• Mirror Calm.  Yep.  I am asking you to fake, or act calm irrespective of how uncalm you might feel.  Your body, Central Nervous System and Heart Rate can be fooled just as easily as the subject to whom your are modeling calm.  Calm, like anger and fear, is communicable. 

 

DEPERSONALIZE.  Simple.  Do not take anything the subject says or does personally.  This principle lies at the very heart of your ability to de-escalate a person and/or a scene.  Keep your ego out of the interaction.  Stay professional at all times.  De-escalation, you see, is more an attitude, maybe even a belief system, than a cluster of esoteric techniques.  Identify and untrigger all those buttons or triggers the subject can push to get you upset.

 

DEFELECT.  Don’t, by all means, absorb (take it personally and allow it to influence how you respond) VAPS (Verbal Attack Patterns).  Instead deflect them.  Think like a power hitter and knock each one of them out of the park.  In order to do that the attitude you need to bring with you into every confrontational scenario is that your are going to absolutely and unemotionally going to—

 

DEPRECIATE THE VERBAL ICON.  Which is an esoteric way of saying simply that you are going to strip the attacker’s words of all power to affect you in any way.  Think of it.  What the attacker wants you to do is to value or “worship” his/her verbal attack. To give each profane and personally insulting word significance or weight.  And to do this, he/she is going to string together a series of personally offensive words in order to elicit a prescribed response on your part (in other words, to influence you to abandon your professionalism, to lose your cool).  Instead, you are going to disempower (another “D”) the (attacking) words and the attacker him or herself through the Art of Depreciation.

 

In the Next Post:  The “E” and “F” of DEFUSE.  Until then, please Stay Safe.

 

 

 

 

THE “STAR FORMATION.”  The Quick, Safe and Effective Countermeasure AGAINST THE EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED PERSON!

 

The next time you and your security team are confronted by an emotionally disturbed or otherwise out of control student, patient, inmate or subject you might want to consider trying my Star Formation Technique.  The STAR is ideal for efficiently and effectively using three or four staff members to control just about any disruptive or violent person in almost any type of environment.  As a matter of fact, the STAR is one of the few CQC (Close Quarter Combat) Countermeasures that works equally well in an environment as narrow as a prison cell and as wide open as a gymnasium.

 

The STAR (Safety Tactics Against Resistance) works off the conventional Triangulation Formation, where the Contact and Cover Officer operate from the strong-hand and off-hand Level 1 positions (they stand at the hypoteneuse of the triangle with the Bad Guy standing at the apex),  The contact officer uses Professional Communications (Pro Com) to attempt to chill the attacker, and, if de-escalation fails, the Cover Officer asks:  “Sir, is there anything I can say to get you to go along with the program today?  We really hope there is.”

 

If and when the violent subject refuses to go along with the program, the above Confirmation Question serves as the Star Signal – in other words, the signal for the security team to immediately for themselves into the Star:

 

1.      The Contact Officer slides one step to his/her left so that he/she is now in the subject’s Inside Position.

2.      Cover Officer 1 slides from the Off-Side 1 to Level 2 and grabs the subject’s hand and arm. 

3.      Cover Officer 2, who had moved onto the scene unobtrusively when the signal went out that a violent subject was being confronted, “appears” at the subject’s opposite hand and arm and also takes control.

4.      Cover Officer 3 appears “out of nowhere” at the subject’s Level 3, which is directly behind the subject.  He/she quickly displaces the subject’s balance by driving his/her shoulder into the Bad Guy’s hips and sliding both hands down the legs until he/she grabs the ankles an quickly lifts the Bad Guy off the ground in concert with Cover 1 and 2 who simultaneously pick the Bad Guy off the ground from their positions.

5.      The Contact Officer controls the subject’s torso by capturing him with both arms around the chest.  At all times, the Contact Officer talks to the subject and attempts to calm him/her.  Even if de-escalation is futile on the Bad Guy, by the way, it sure sounds good to witnesses, and, not unimportantly, sure looks and sounds great on camera.

6.      The Violent Subject is “gently” lifted off the ground and just as “gently” deposited face down on the ground, hopefully without injury.  Staff members should anticipate the subject to react violently to being grounded, but the STAR has an answer for that, also.  The Contact Officer vises the subject’s head with both knees, trapping it.  The Contact Officer gives authoritative verbal directions and augments the direction with Pressure Points (Pain Compliance).  One or both of the Cover Officers on the arms can perform what I call the Invisible Handcuffs (Pain Compliance on the Index Knuckle while sliding toward the Bad Guy’s head).  If necessary, Cover 3 can perform a Modified Figure-Four Leg Lock.

7.      The Violent Student, Inmate, Parolee, Patient, or Subject ain’t going nowhere, Dog.  Emphasis on nowhere.

 

A caveat.  For security staff working for schools, human service agencies, or hospitals, the STAR is only to be used when all else fails.  When the Bad Guy must be stopped now, otherwise not only the security staff will be endangered, but the population inside and outside of that agency!

 

Until the next post, stay safe.

Hammer

 

 

 

 

 

 

A STEP TOWARD REDUCING SCHOOL VIOLENCE, ESPECIALLY BULLYING!

 

Fact.  Eighty-six (plus) percent of all workplace violence, including school violence, could be prevented (OSHA, 2007) if warning signs of same would have been reported and/or acted upon.  This includes bullying, about which I recently posted, violence against teachers, suicides, and even some instances involving outside – seemingly unconnected violence spilling over into the school place. 

 

Bullying,, to me, ranks as a national disgrace.  Studies show that over 65% of children have been relentlessly and systematically bullied.  Physical and psychological violence.  It’s your guess which is worse.  To me, it’s both.  Think of this:  A child is triple victimized when he or she is bullied.

 

1. The child is victimized by the bullies (more often than not, the bully is joined by at least one other friend, plus one or two others cheering from the sidelines and coercing others to do likewise.
2. The child is victimized by his or her friends or fellow students who stand by and do nothing.
3. The child is victimized by the school system who through our educational history have either been incapable of stopping bullying within the school system, or. worse, have been unwilling to develop an effective system of reporting these ugly incidents (of bullying), investigating reports, and taking appropriate action in concert with parents.
4. There is a fourth dimension of betrayal.  This from parents who do not ask their child the right questions; who do not observe subtle and dynamic behavioral and emotional changes indicative of depression, hopelessness, anxiety, etc.  Parents, however, are not the issue in this particular post.

 

Why is this an issue today?  Two adolescents, victims of steady, unrelenting and cruel physical and emotional bullying, could only find the answer to their torture and inexorable anguish at the end of a rope, joining hundreds of other children who have taken similar routes in the past few years.

 

So, what can the schools do?  Your guess is probably as good as mine, but maybe here’s a start:

 

• Design, develop and engineer a reporting system that encourages and rewards students to report acts of bullying, or, for that matter, any other type of behavior that threatens the safety of students, teachers, etc.
• Honestly look into each reported incident without prejudice, presumptions and/or hidden agenda,
• Work in concert with all parents.  Make it easy and painless (anonymity?) to report problems with their children, to inquire about what their child is doing.
• Encourage counselors and teachers to contact parents regarding problematic behavior.
• Security Staff and teachers must be alert for any type of behavioral signs that violence, mischief, bullying, suicidal ideation is active.
• Schools need to develop and enforce a Counter-Bullying Protocol.

 

Next Post:  Bully-Be-Gone.  Realistic and doable steps that can stop the bully in his or her tracks!

 

Until Then.  Stay Safe.

Hammer.

 

 

 

 

 

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

April 21, 2009

 

PROTECTING THE GIFT

 

In a recent post I talked about the abduction and murder of 13 year old Esme Kenney.  Esme was attacked on a public recreation path less than 500 yards from her Cincinnati, Ohio home.  Predictably, though, the child was not killed on the path, which was the initial crime scene.  That grisly act was committed in the nearby woods – the secondary crime scene.

 

The perplexing question has to be, what can a parent do to protect the child?  Of course, the second question must be what can the child do to prevent his or her abduction and/or murder?

 

Ordinarily, I would counsel the parent to constrain the child from going off by herself.  But 13 is about the age when parents begin to loosen the reins, so to speak, plus, the girl was only 200 yards from her house! 

 

Parents need to be aware the children have been taken from inside their own homes, swiped out of their front yards while the parents were inside.  It happens so damn quickly, and, worse, most sexual predators are deadly combination of out of control desires and seeker of thrills, that, often, the only thing that will deter the abductor is both parents to be right there.

 

So, once again I wonder what is the answer?  Truthfully, there is no “answer.”  Only strategies to maximize the survival quotient of your child and minimize the opportunity for the predator to strike.  If you have followed some of my posts, you also know there must be strategies for the child to fall back on if and when she or he is attacked.

 

• Parents who intend to safeguard their child must take the role of Safety Coaches.
• Safety Coaches need to provide full time encouragement, support and survival training for their child.
• Recommended Safety Coach’s Curriculum.

Ø     Play the “What If Game” with the child.  Make it fun and as non-threatening as possible.  The coach feeds the child situations involving other adults and the child comes up with responses as to what he/she would do.

Ø     Talk to the child about adults and which of them the child should trust or not trust.  Come up with categories that indicate those whom the child should trust – a very small group – and those you should not.

Ø     Teach Principles, such as to never leave the scene with any adult who is not on your “always trust” list.  Also, never, ever go anywhere with any adult for any reason.

Ø     Teach the Principle of RAP.  Always Recognize potential danger (I have gone into Signatures of Danger in previous posts); be Alert and Aware of adults who do not “belong” in this environment, who are paying too much attention to you, who are “sharking” the area (driving back and forth), etc. Also, always Assess yourself and others on the scene.  Check out the body language, movement, etc. of the adult on the scene, but even more importantly, Assess your gut feelings.  When you get that creepy feeling, it is your gut-instincts telling you to get the heck out.  Your instincts are hardly ever wrong.  Position Yourself For Safety, an important preventive step which includes:

• Buddy System.  Always have at least one other child with you.  Just having one other child present reduces the chances of being approached by as much as 75%.
• Distance.  Put as much space as possible between you and that strange adult as safely possible.  Don’t try to hide in a secluded spot, though.  If you do, you are playing right into the pervert’s plans.
• Find A Safe-Looking Adult With Children.  Teach your children to never be along in an isolated area.  This is the Ideal Hunting Ground for the predator,  That being said, there should be others around when you suspect you are being sharked.  Run to an adult who you have seen with his or her children in the past and you believe is safe.  Failing that, go to an adult accompanied by his or her children.

Ø     ACT NUTZ.  The abductor is looking for several characteristics in the ideal victim. 

• The child should be isolated.
• The child should be quiet when approached.
• The child should be polite, shy even.
• The child should allow the abductor to approach, grab and carry him/.her off with speed and without alarming witnesses.

        

Ø     Therefore, parents might want to teach their child to be as noisy and as uncooperative as possible.

 

Until the next post, please Stay Safe.

 

Hammer

      

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

April 21, 2009

 

PROTECTING THE GIFT

 

In a recent post I talked about the abduction and murder of 13 year old Esme Kenney.  Esme was attacked on a public recreation path less than 500 yards from her Cincinnati, Ohio home.  Predictably, though, the child was not killed on the path, which was the initial crime scene.  That grisly act was committed in the nearby woods – the secondary crime scene.

 

The perplexing question has to be, what can a parent do to protect the child?  Of course, the second question must be what can the child do to prevent his or her abduction and/or murder?

 

Ordinarily, I would counsel the parent to constrain the child from going off by herself.  Thirteen is about the age when parents begin to loosen the reins, so to speak, plus, the girl was only 200 yards from her house! 

 

Parents need to be aware the children have been taken from inside their own homes, swiped out of their front yards while the parents were inside.  It happens so damn quickly, and, worse, most sexual predators are deadly combination of out of control desires and seeker of thrills, that, often, the only thing that will deter the abductor is both parents to be right there.

 

So, once again I wonder what is the answer?  Truthfully, there is no “answer.”  Only strategies to maximize the survival quotient of your child and minimize the opportunity for the predator to strike.  If you have followed some of my posts, you also know there must be strategies for the child to fall back on if and when she or he is attacked.

 

• Parents who intend to safeguard their child must take the role of Safety Coaches.
• Safety Coaches need to provide full time encouragement, support and survival training for their child.
• Recommended Safety Coach’s Curriculum.

Ø     Play the “What If Game” with the child.  Make it fun and as non-threatening as possible.  The coach feeds the child situations involving other adults and the child comes up with responses as to what he/she would do.

Ø     Talk to the child about adults and which of them the child should trust or not trust.  Come up with categories that indicate those whom the child should trust – a very small group – and those you should not.

Ø     Teach Principles, such as to never leave the scene with any adult who is not on your “always trust” list.  Also, never, ever go anywhere with any adult for any reason.

Ø     Teach the Principle of RAP.  Always Recognize potential danger (I have gone into Signatures of Danger in previous posts); be Alert and Aware of adults who do not “belong” in this environment, who are paying too much attention to you, who are “sharking” the area (driving back and forth), etc. Also, always Assess yourself and others on the scene.  Check out the body language, movement, etc. of the adult on the scene, but even more importantly, Assess your gut feelings.  When you get that creepy feeling, it is your gut-instincts telling you to get the heck out.  Your instincts are hardly ever wrong.  Position Yourself For Safety, an important preventive step which includes:

• Buddy System.  Always have at least one other child with you.  Just having one other child present reduces the chances of being approached by as much as 75%.
• Distance.  Put as much space as possible between you and that strange adult as safely possible.  Don’t try to hide in a secluded spot, though.  If you do, you are playing right into the pervert’s plans.
• Find A Safe-Looking Adult With Children.  Teach your children to never be along in an isolated area.  This is the Ideal Hunting Ground for the predator,  That being said, there should be others around when you suspect you are being sharked.  Run to an adult who you have seen with his or her children in the past and you believe is safe.  Failing that, go to an adult accompanied by his or her children.

Ø     ACT NUTZ.  The abductor is looking for several characteristics in the ideal victim. 

• The child should be isolated.
• The child should be quiet when approached.
• The child should be polite, shy even.
• The child should allow the abductor to approach, grab and carry him/.her off with speed and without alarming witnesses.

        

Ø     Therefore, parents might want to teach their child to be as noisy and as uncooperative as possible.

 

Until the next post, please Stay Safe.

 

Hammer

      

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

April 21, 2009

 

PROTECTING THE GIFT

 

In a recent post I talked about the abduction and murder of 13 year old Esme Kenney.  Esme was attacked on a public recreation path less than 500 yards from her Cincinnati, Ohio home.  Predictably, though, the child was not killed on the path, which was the initial crime scene.  That grisly act was committed in the nearby woods – the secondary crime scene.

 

The perplexing question has to be, what can a parent do to protect the child?  Of course, the second question must be what can the child do to prevent his or her abduction and/or murder?

 

Ordinarily, I would counsel the parent to constrain the child from going off by herself.  Thirteen is about the age when parents begin to loosen the reins, so to speak, plus, the girl was only 200 yards from her house! 

 

Parents need to be aware the children have been taken from inside their own homes, swiped out of their front yards while the parents were inside.  It happens so damn quickly, and, worse, most sexual predators are deadly combination of out of control desires and seeker of thrills, that, often, the only thing that will deter the abductor is both parents to be right there.

 

So, once again I wonder what is the answer?  Truthfully, there is no “answer.”  Only strategies to maximize the survival quotient of your child and minimize the opportunity for the predator to strike.  If you have followed some of my posts, you also know there must be strategies for the child to fall back on if and when she or he is attacked.

 

• Parents who intend to safeguard their child must take the role of Safety Coaches.
• Safety Coaches need to provide full time encouragement, support and survival training for their child.
• Recommended Safety Coach’s Curriculum.

Ø     Play the “What If Game” with the child.  Make it fun and as non-threatening as possible.  The coach feeds the child situations involving other adults and the child comes up with responses as to what he/she would do.

Ø     Talk to the child about adults and which of them the child should trust or not trust.  Come up with categories that indicate those whom the child should trust – a very small group – and those you should not.

Ø     Teach Principles, such as to never leave the scene with any adult who is not on your “always trust” list.  Also, never, ever go anywhere with any adult for any reason.

Ø     Teach the Principle of RAP.  Always Recognize potential danger (I have gone into Signatures of Danger in previous posts); be Alert and Aware of adults who do not “belong” in this environment, who are paying too much attention to you, who are “sharking” the area (driving back and forth), etc. Also, always Assess yourself and others on the scene.  Check out the body language, movement, etc. of the adult on the scene, but even more importantly, Assess your gut feelings.  When you get that creepy feeling, it is your gut-instincts telling you to get the heck out.  Your instincts are hardly ever wrong.  Position Yourself For Safety, an important preventive step which includes:

• Buddy System.  Always have at least one other child with you.  Just having one other child present reduces the chances of being approached by as much as 75%.
• Distance.  Put as much space as possible between you and that strange adult as safely possible.  Don’t try to hide in a secluded spot, though.  If you do, you are playing right into the pervert’s plans.
• Find A Safe-Looking Adult With Children.  Teach your children to never be along in an isolated area.  This is the Ideal Hunting Ground for the predator,  That being said, there should be others around when you suspect you are being sharked.  Run to an adult who you have seen with his or her children in the past and you believe is safe.  Failing that, go to an adult accompanied by his or her children.

Ø     ACT NUTZ.  The abductor is looking for several characteristics in the ideal victim. 

• The child should be isolated.
• The child should be quiet when approached.
• The child should be polite, shy even.
• The child should allow the abductor to approach, grab and carry him/.her off with speed and without alarming witnesses.

        

Ø     Therefore, parents might want to teach their child to be as noisy and as uncooperative as possible.

 

Until the next post, please Stay Safe.

 

Hammer

      

 

 

YOU CAN HEAR A PUNCH COMING A MILE AWAY

 

Ever been punched?  Not a great feeling, is it? I’ve been punched, probably too many times, and, no, it did not feel very good, if you’re wondering.  Thinking back on it, though, what was worse was the debilitating hesitation as my attacker threatened me, poked me with his finger as he bobbed in and out of my personal space.  I should have known better, but I was paralyzed by persistent thoughts that I could wait him out, maybe even catch him off guard then rush him.

 

It’s that internal dialogue that opens us up to punches, kicks, strikes and worse.  I don’t blame others for weighing the consequences of cold-cocking someone who is just harassing you.  The consequences for punching someone’s lights out are always a consideration; and anyone thinking of the possibility of being charged with assault or being sued can’t really be blamed – as I already mentioned – for hesitating until he or she is positive that the fight is on.

 

Which is swell.  Really it is.  Unless your up against an asshole who doesn’t live by your rules, or, for that matter, anyone else’s.  He is going to attack you when he is damned good and ready and there isn’t a goddamn thing you can do about it.  That’s what he’s there for. 

 

Tim Larkin’s Target Focused Training has a great philosophy when it comes to asocial violence.  Violence itself is the only thing that can work against violence when the rules do not apply.  Incidental to that thought process is a concept known as Creating Automatic Decision Points.  These ADP’s are created so that intended victims will be able to know by a few distinct Signatures of Danger when you are about to be attacked.  Once you encounter one or more of these signatures, you have reached that ADP and you can respond accordingly (counterattack or disengage).

 

AUTOMATIC DECISION POINTS

 

• Non-Verbal Decision Points. 

 

•  
  1. Invading Your Personal Space.  Despite your protestations, the thug has invaded your PSZ (Personal Safety Zone).  It is imperative that you make it clear to him that he must get the hell out of your face, like now, just like you must make it clear before he enters the space that he must not come any closer.  It is important to understand that any normal person who lives by the rules would probably apologize and back up.  What you do and how you do it is up to you, but do something.  Me, I’m moving somewhere unless I am trapped.  If that’s the case, then, me, I’m hitting an open target.  Hit the sumbitch between strides.
  2. Going From Maniacal to Silently Calm, to Hiatus, to Target Stare to Bingo.  Your harasser goes from maniacal rage and the movement patterns of a Tasmanian Devil, then suddenly he calms and goes silent.  The attacker has resolved what he is going to do and how he aims to do it.  There is a short hiatus when he turns away from you for a second or two, but, as surely as a frog will bump his ass when he tries to fly, he will return his  attention to you and he will Target Stare at the spot he intends to punch, kick, stab or grab you.  The attack is on.  You?  You do what you want when he goes into the hiatus.  Me, I just ain’t gonna be there for the Target Stare.  If I cannot move for environmental reasons, I got something for him.
  3. Silence.  Long time ago, someone pretty wise told me a truism.  Despite what happens in movies, fighters never throw a punch when they are talking.  When your harasser goes silent, as in the ADP above, he, more likely than not, is having an internal dialogue about what he is going to do to you.  Once again, this is the time to do something.

 

• VERBAL AUTOMATIC DECISION POINTS.

        

•  
  1. THE THREAT.   The Attacker is trying to ramp up his courage and confidence.  A threat is not always followed by a punch, but you need to take it seriously.  The key is to break up his confidence with verbal de-escalation.  Change his Channel from his mental channel – the Fight Channel – to any other channel.  De-escalation tactics like distraction techniques, humor, redirection.  I will talk about those in future posts and have discussed them in past blogs.

   

• PRE-ATTACK ACTION ADP.

            

•  
  1. THE FINGER JAB.  This is always dangerous.  The thug is testing the waters.  If you do nothing here, you are telling him, “C’mon in, the water’s fine.”
  2. THE SHOVE.  The shove is an ADP that is always followed with some sort of attack.  He’s setting up the punch, getting you off balance and preparing to stride in an nail you like roofing slate.  Once again, trust me, this jerk either finger jabs or shoves you, this is exactly when you prepare to block and/or duck the incoming bomb and deliver one of your own.
  3. THE PUNCH.  If you are hit, no matter how light, you are likely going to get hit again, this time pretty damned hard.

 

So, they you are.  Do what you can to de-escalate the individual who threatens you, but when you reach one or more of these ADT’s, you are about to be attacked.  It is up to you what you want to do about it, but, if you elect to do nothing, I suggest you have a great hospitilization plan, Dog.

 

Stay Safe.

Hammer

MOST COMMON STREET ATTACKS AND BEST BETS TO ESCAPE, PART I.

 

I thought it would be cool to go over some of the most common types of street attacks and suggestions on how best to escape them (in Part II). 

 

OF course, I have repeated this mantra so often in past posts that I’m sure you are tired of reading it, but your best escape move is never to have to make the move.  By that I mean that nothing – and I mean nothing – beats prevention and avoidance.  And topping the chart of prevention and avoidance has to be the 4 A’s of Assessing yourself and your surrounding; Awareness of obvious and not so obvious changes in the other person and the environment; Anticipation, meaning, always have a plan of action, or at least a mind set that asked “what would I do if the worst case scenario goes down?”and, finally take Action exactly when action is required!

 

THE MOST COMMON STREET ATTACKS

1. Wrist/Arm Grabs.
2. Lapel or collar grab.
3. Lapel Grab and Sucker Punch.
4. Front Choke.
5. Rear Choke.
6. Roundhouse Punch.
7. Front Bear Hug.
8. Rear Bear Hug.
9. Side Headlock and Punch.
10. Hair Pull.
11. Charge and Tackle.
12. Front Headlock.
13. Rear Strangle Hold.
14. Overhead Strike with Weapon.
15. Bad Guy In Mount (straddling the chest), Victim’s (Woman) Hands Pinned To Ground.
16. Ground and Pound from the Mount Position.
17. Choke From Mount Position.
18. Choke From Guard Position (Man in between woman’s legs, on the ground).
19. First In-First Out (attacks when victim is first going in or first coming out of a car, garage, house, etc.).
20. Bear Hug From Rear/Objective is to pick woman up and carry her off.

 

Next Post:  How To Escape.  In the meantime, give some thought to what you would do?  How you might prevent this from happening?  How you might defeat this attack before it even begins?

 

Stay Safe.

 

Hammer

 

 

 

 

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

March 8, 2009

 

Now You See It.  Now You Don’t – Distractions.

 

I was watching Casino Royale, a recent James Bond flick.  Bond was in a life-or-death stalemate with the knife-wielding villain.  Each had equal strength and it was going to come down to who could find the strength to sink the gleaming blade into his foe.  Suddenly. Bond jerked his face up and to his right – as if seeing something awesome or terrible – and, oila, the bad guy involuntarily looked in that direction. Taking his mind off the struggle for a millisecond.  End of story.  Bond swaggers off with a saucy brunette with a wheelbarrow full of cleavage and the villain—Well, you get the picture.

 

Point is and will always be, your mind is your most powerful weapon.  Never forget that.  Please.  Also, never forget that the mind, if not used well, can be your most awesome enemy.  To use your brain well, train it to be and then continuously allow it to be a crucial connection or nexus with your body.  The body can only be powerful when you need it most when it works harmoniously with the mind!

 

As I have pointed out in past posts, the bad guy will almost always attack you after a distraction technique.  He knows instinctively that you are weakest when you are the most distracted!  Which is why he will ask you questions to influence you to look away or down and to sink into your own mind (for answers to the questions) before he will attack. 

 

I say, then, that we must Reverse the Distraction to separate his body from his mind.  If you recall, I have often proposed that the attacker of women almost always has his own Fantasy Script and that the further he is allowed to carry out that script the more confident and dangerous he will become.  Well, I say let’s shatter that script right away!

 

When I train law enforcement officers I always include Distraction Techniques, or Distraction Reversals.  Always get the Bad Guy’s mind spinning to weaken any thoughts or actions toward resistance.  For instance, here are a few great distraction reversals that we have used with great success:

ORAL DISTRACTIONS

“Artie, lookie, man, you just pissed your pants!”  (Used versus very bad people who we knew were armed.  He had just given a urine sample, so when the officer made the statement, Artie did look down at his groin area, and we arrested him without him ever thinking of pulling the gun.)

 

“Wiggle your fingers, sir!”  (I teach this during prone handcuffing.  I have the Bad Guy look away from me and look at his hand.  When he wiggles his fingers he takes his mind off resistance, and he is cuffed without resistance).

 

“Sir, what’s your birth date?”  (I train officers to say this just before they cuff the first hand.  Same effect.  The Bad Guy tries to answer, but before he can, he is cuffed.)

 

 

DISTRACTION REVERSALS

 

You can come up with your own Distraction Reversals, but here are a few that women have used with success and one or two you might think about using:

 

• “Hey!  Don’t I know your mother?”  A woman used this on a bad guy who “had that attack look in his eyes.”  Stopped him in his tracks.
• “Hey!  911!  Almost anything coherent you shout spontaneously can reverse the distraction.  Bad Guys do not choose victims who not only see them coming, but are bold enough to shout at them!
• Object Distraction.  Throw a hat, a pencil, a book, at their face when they get close.  It should induce a nice little startle response.  Trick is, you’d better be ready to attack, or, if safe, disengage.
• Surprise is a great distraction.  Lull the Bad Guy into thinking he has you where he wants you and then attack suddenly.

Ø      He grabs your hand and expects you to pull away.  Okay.  Pull away, but, just as he relaxes and starts pulling you in to him with his superior strength, spring in to his center-line targets using his momentum, and attack him!

Ø      He has entered your personal space.  Do what he expects by putting both hands up, palms out, and beg him not to hurt you.  When he smiles and takes that step in, Bam Baby!

 

Can you think of some Distraction Reversals?

Until Next Time.  Stay Safe.

Hammer

SAFETY COACHES:  HOW YOU CAN USE ANIMALS AND BUGS TO TEACH YOUR KIDS TO SURVIVE A PREDATOR!

 

If you’ve been following my posts, you already know that I advocate parents acting as their child’s Safety Coach(es).  To teach them skills and techniques that can help them survive attacks by a sexual predator.  If this is your first taste of my Action Against Violence blog, just let me say that parents and teachers can become excellent coaches and can provide the needed support for a child in a dangerous world.

 

IN this post I would like to suggest that you can speed the learning process along by sparking your child’s vivid imagination.  And few things spark a child’s imagination better than animals and bugs.  I use this same kind of imagery when I do my S.T.I.C.K. and C.A.T. (Survival Techniques and Intervention Concepts for Kids/Parents and Counter Abduction Tactics) trainings for children. 

 

PARENTS (Safety Coaches), here are a few of the imageries you can use to teach your child how to physically escape and evade the predator:

 

• Claws.  Kids have no problem imagining they are a tiger or a cat.  Make claws out of your hands and rake the attacker’s eyes when he bends down to pick you up.
• Paws.  Pretend you are a wily cat or dog and you don’t want to be carried away.  Squirm and wiggle your way free.  Also I use this imagery for my wrist grab escape where the child quickly turns and moves his hand and wrist out of the Bad Guy’s grasp.
• Hug Like A Bug.  Grab onto whatever is close to you and hug it like a bug.  A tree.  A Pole.  Your bike.  A post of your bed.  The Bad Guy’s legs and torso themselves when he tries to put you into his car.  One kid I taught, who was being abducted from a bathroom stall in a park rest room, dropped to the floor and hugged the bottom post of the stall and curled himself into a ball.
• Roar Like A Lion.  Let everyone know this is not your father trying to carry you off.  Also, roar at the Bad Guy as he approaches,  The abductor is not looking for a crazy, noisy kid.
• Crab Walk Away.  All kids know what a crab does when it scrambles away on the beach.  Teach your kid to sit down, keep his or her eyes on the Bad Guy, place a hand on each side of his or her rump, and “walk” away using his or her hands and by raising the rump.  When the Bad Guy catches up with him, teach you child to kick wildly and scramble in a circle.  If this fails to scare away the Bad Guy – which it probably will – the last resort is to Hug His Legs Like A Bug, making it hard for him to carry your child off.
• HULA HOOP.  I use a hula hoop to teach kids their Personal Safe Zone, within which no person should be allowed to enter uninvited.  Control Your Space.
• THROW YOUR SLEEPING BAG ONTO THE TOP BUNK.  Teaching small kids how to get into a combat stance to block incoming punches is tough.  This imagery, where they throw their arms up toward their faces helps.
• BEAT YOUR BONGOS.  Is a great image that most kids easily understand and helps me teach them to knock a bully’s punches down.
• The Cobra Eats The Fly.  I use this image to teach children how to block a bully’s roundhouse punches.  I do not teach blocking skills against an adult predator.

 

Until the next post.  Stay Safe.

 

Hammer

 

 

            HIGH-LILLY HIGH-LOW AND OTHER WINOLOGY PRINCIPLES

 

                IT IS DAMN near impossible to engineer a foolproof Fighting Arts System of self defense that will work every time against every imaginable attacker in every imaginable attack scenario.  Mater of fact, even if I could design such a system, I doubt seriously if I could or even would attempt to train it since the attack format can not be predicted.  I know I cannot predict it, but, more importantly, I know the predator himself cannot predict it. 

 

              SURE, the attacker, much like any predator, has a hunting plan – how to spot his victim, track and stalk his victim, and, just to make certain his prey is not going to be able to fight or run,  how to test his victim.  When and how to attack may mutate with how the intended prey reacts during any one of these stages.  Once the attack starts, everything goes at a ferocious pace, and, if you – the victim – isn’t prepared to stay in the fight regardless of the pace and ferocity of the attack, simply put, you are screwed Big Time.

 

              ONE THING for sure:  If you have not trained and practiced assiduously – meaning hundreds of repetitions in dozens if different scenarios, the techniques you learned and rehearsed (Martial Arts Kadas) against the myriad of attack possibilities are likely going to fail you.  What always works, though, are what I call Timeless Principles. 

 

             Timeless Principles (of the Fighting Arts) cross all the variegated situation you might be confronted with in an all out fight for your life.  I can’t guarantee success, but these Winology (the art science of winning in combat situations) Principles, each of which is simple, easy to do, and are always heavy with time-proven truth.

 

GREAT WINOLOGY PRINCIPLES OF SELF DEFENSE.

 

• THE PRINCIPLE OF HIGH-LOW AND VICE VERSA.  Or as I call it in my SD For Women classes:  High-Lilly, High-Low.  This timeless Winology Principle simply suggests that when the Bad Guy attacks you high, all his targets will be open low.  Therefore, the attacker wades in striking at your face; block and counter-attack him low.
• HIT SECONDARY TARGETS TO OPEN UP PRIMARY TARGETS.  Winology suggests that the Bad Guy can only possible block 3 of his targets at any one time, meaning, if you stay focused, you must find easy-to-hit targets.  Hit secondary targets to open up the High-value Primary Targets that will stop him from seeing (eyes). Breathing (throat). Moving (groin).  Targets that will take away his fighting spirit (stomach, nose) and his ability to stand (knees).
• IGNORE THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF MIND AND CONCENTRATE ON THE TASK AT HAND.  Accept that you are scared.  It is natural.  Focus instead on the task of hitting open targets, moving, breathing and thinking.
• THANK YOU FOR GRABBING ME THERE.  This principle actually celebrates the occasion of the Bad Grab grabbing his victim.  Dave Guglielmi, one of my self defense co=trainers, would actually say “Thank you” before destroying the attacker who had just grabbed him.  Why?  Once you are grabbed, several good things happen. 

Ø     If the attacker grabs you with two-hands, you now are aware that he can no longer block or strike with either hand.  All of his targets are open.

Ø     If he grabs you with one hand, you know that he cannot both block and strike with his free hand.  Almost all of his targets are open.

Ø     When he grabs you, you now are free to trap the Bad Guy’s hand to you.  You can strike various vulnerable parts of the hands, fingers, wrist and forearm, and/or move that hand and arm in a direction it was not meant to be moved.

 

• EXPECT TO BE HIT, CUT, OR SHOT.  The Bad Guy knows how to dispirit and defeat you almost before the fight begins.  He knows most easy victims have a plan until they are hit.  Worse, many attackers are triggered into escalated violence when their victim cries, begs for mercy or just freezes in place after First Touch.  Remember that Self Defense Is not an Injury-Free Activity.  When you are trying to fight off an attacker, expect to be hit, maybe even cut or shot.  Shake it off, if you can.  Most likely, if you realize you have been punched, cut, or even shot, you can and will survive it.  Tell yourself, Hey, look at me, I’ve been punched and I’m still in the fight.”  Now, go out and win the damn fight!

 

Stay Safe.

Hammer