ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE
May 7, 2009
BULLY BE GONE, PART 3.
This is for those beautiful children and young adults who are prey to bullies, either on school grounds, in their neighborhoods, and even at home when they turn on their computers, check their text messages, answer the phone. Relentlessly. Yes, relentlessly, for they are victimized again and again in their dreams and in their racing thoughts as they head to and from school. “Oh, God, will it happen again today? When? How?”
And, hopefully, this is also for the few parents – maybe even a lone teacher or two - who might read this and decide to be their child’s/student’s Safety Coach. Who will get involved, give support and maybe coach the child on a few Bully-Be-Gone Escape and Evasion Techniques.
BULLY BE GONE ESCAPE AND EVASION TECHNIQUES
Just a little preamble here, folks. In most situations, when we talk self defense against bullies, we speak more in terms of Escape and Evasion than knocking the bully out of the box. In most cases, the bully is just another kid on the school grounds, and we simply want to put him in his place and deny him or her the right to make us the victim. There are situations, though, when the bully is much larger, maybe even an adult, perhaps there are multiple attackers, and the consequences for losing might be catastrophic. Then we go with pure self defense and I will talk about that in a future post.
1. PASS THE “TEST.” Almost every bully precedes the attack with a verbal or non-verbal test. The Test is nothing more than a Distraction Technique designed to weaken the victim by asking questions, etc. and breaking the victim’s focus. The test also involves a threat, which almost always precedes an attack. The Target (the victim) should:
· Mirror Calm. This is a practiced art. Rehearse being cool under pressure. Basically appear bored, but keep your eyes on him.
· Use Humor: Part of the test might be to ridicule how you look, etc. “Thanks, man, that’s exactly the look I was going for.”
2. ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN OF ACTION. The Plan should include movement.. Try to keep at least 5’ distance from the bully. That means he/she will have to take at least one step before he/she can hit you. The tendency is to freeze and hold one’s breath, which adds to one’s panic. Move, breathe and think, baby. A Plan of Action makes good sense since the “victim” is already fretting about the next time he will get bullied, he or she might as well spend that time thinking positive, proactive thoughts about exactly what he or she will do to escape and evade.
3. CREATE AUTOMATIC DECISION POINTS. Since fear and/or panic usually freezes the victim when tested, what about creating some clear points when he or she will act when the bully tests in one or more of the following ways:
Ø The Bully Threatens the Victim. The bully is ramping him/herself up for the coming attack.
Ø The Bully Boldly Enters the Victim’s Personal Safety Zone (PSZ – 3’). A golden rule of Escape & Evasion is to always control your space. The Intended Victim must tell the Bully to “Stay Back!” A “normal” person would stop right then and there and even step back. But the cocky Bully willkeep on coming. The “IV (Intended Victim)” knows right then and there that an attack is coming!
Ø The Bully Pokes the “IV” in the Chest with a Finger. This is an “Automatic Decision Point.” The Bully is “testing the waters,” and, if the “IV” does nothing, he or she is telling the Bully “the water’s fine; c’mon in.” If the IV does zip, you better believe, Dog, a punch is coming.
Ø The Bully Shoves the “IV.” A shove is followed by a punch 95% of the time. You do the math.
4. MOVE AND DISTRACT: Now that you know the ADP’s (Automatic Decision Points), it is up to you what to do. You know something evil your way comes; the question is what to do. First thing I would try is to move (Try the J-Step) and distract. If there are people around, I might say, “Hey, Tommy,” and look in the “invisible Tommy’s” direction, and, when the Bully looks in that direction. “Open His Door” and walk through it, leaving the bully standing there, looking like an idiot.
Ø About The J-Step: The J-Step is a simple move where the youngster keeps his lead foot in the same spot and moves his or her rearward foot back and toward the inside, forming an invisible “J.” This move effectively gains distance and evades any charge by the bully. Give it a try.
Ø About Opening the Bully’s Door. The “IV” places his or her strong hand on the bully’s elbow and quickly pulls that elbow – as if it were a door knob – across his or her (the “IV’s) body. The elbow is a balance point, and, if it is done quickly, the bully will be swept off balance and will be easily moved away from the IV.
Ø About “Rocking the Bully’s Door.” If the bully suspects he is about to be moved when you grab his elbow and widens his stance, making himself harder to move quickly, no problem. Use the idiot’s own strength against him and “rotate around the pole (use the strong arm as if it were a stationary pole and simply use the pole to propel you past him).”
In the next post we will complete the formula for escaping and evading the bully. Look for Part 4 of Bully Be Gone.
Until then, Stay Safe.
Hammer