THE PREDATOR PREY PRINCIPLE

EYE CONTACT is not an incidental element of the Fighting Arts.  Often, eye contact can be the difference between being attacked and being passed over as a victim.  Interview the potential predator who doesn’t select you as a victim, he will likely not be able to cite why he graded you as a Hard Target, but he might admit that deep down in his miscreant soul his instincts indeed were disquieted, 

And this is the feeling you want to engender in any person who is thinking about attacking you.  An uneasy feeling about you.  Who cares if he or she can’t quite put their finger on the reason.  Long as he goes on his way, seeking out an Easy Target.

Read Lt. Colonel David Grossman’s On Killing and you can read this combat expert’s treatise on eye contact.  Soldiers in WWI and II were often want to fire their weapons when their enemy were charging directly at them.  More likely than not, they would fire only when their enemy turned their back and tried to flee. 

For my part, I have been teaching what I call the Predator-Prey-Principle for several decades to law enforcement officers.  Relentless but Indirect Eye Contact, I insist, is a key to keeping one’s enemy at bay.  I direct surgical training drills that encourage officers to maintain indirect eye contact down range until the threat is known to be over by virtue of overwhelming evidence!

Relentless, Indirect Eye Contact means that the officer never looks at his or her firearm or Intermediate Weapon when he/she draws or holsters it. Never looks away from down range until he knows for sure his foe has either been vanquished or disappeared.

WHY RELENTLESS AND INDIRECT?

If you have the guts, I challenge you to prove the Predator Prey Principle in real life.  I have done this and it has worked every time.  When I am running and I see a person walking his/her dog, I will run to within about 50-yards of the dog (as I am running toward the dog, there is no noticeable change in the dog’s pace).  Suddenly I will turn my back on the dog and begin to run the other way – without changing my pace at all.  Inevitable, without exception, the dog will begin chasing me despite the verbal admonitions of its owner, and will chase me until I turn around to face it again. 

Best I can figure, Hammer Fans, is, by averting your eyes and/or showing your back to the dog you are actually triggering the Predator-Instinct in the dog!  Same thing happens to the type of man who would physically and/or sexually assault you.  When he is sizing you up, he is scanning for signs that you are an easy target.  Among other victim-characteristics, he is looking for a man, woman, boy or girl who averts his or her eyes before or during the Testing Stage of the assault.

I say Relentless and Indirect Eye Contact because you don’t necessarily want to challenge the prospective attacker.  Direct eye contact will often work to back a predator away.  However, the same type of eye contact may also trigger an attack when one might not have happened.  I advocate drawing an imaginary triangle from the bottom of the potential attacker’s eyes (the top point of an Isosceles Triangle) to the bottom of his mouth.  I think that is the perfect area to concentrate on for ideal results.

HARD TARGET CHARACTERISTICS

1. Contralateral Walking Stride – Swing your arms confidently in tandem with your legs.
2. Alert Attitude – Keep your head up and scan the area as you walk.  Inculcate the attitude of a king or queen who proudly scans his or her crowd of adorers as he or she strides through the crowd.  Nobody attacks a king or queen!
3. Relentless/Indirect Eye Contact.
4. Make Noise.  If an attacker is bold enough to bother you when you are obviously a Hard Target, never allow him or her to invade your personal space quietly.  Make noise.  Protest.  Say something clever:  “Hey, don’t I know your mother?” has been known to stop a knife wielding attacker in his tracks!

Until The Next Post.  Stay Safe.

Hammer.

HERE comes the tough part for parents.  Parents who have taken on the role of Safety Coaches.  Parents who’ve tught their kids skills and techniques to avoid the adult predator, a set of principles and values to adhere to help their child to escape and evade miscreants who stalk our schoolyards and neighborhoods. 

IF you are a Safety Coach for your child, more likely than not you have made every effort not to frighten your child.(see the last post) when you advocate tactics to avoid child predators.. 

BUT now it’s time to go one step further.  You have to teach your kid(s) what to do if and when the Bad Guy (BG) actually grabs him or her.  What do to when everything you’ve imparted to them – things about which I have written in past posts – have gone south (things like being observant; ignoring the adult when he speaks; keep moving; indirect eye contact; never ever leave the original scene with the BG, et al).

WHAT TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO DO WHEN THE PREDATOR GRABS HIM/HER.

• BREATHE and, THINK. The BG wants you to freeze and become a “piece of wood” that he can easily carry off to a secondary crime scene.
• HAVE A PRE-DESIGNED PLAN OF ACTION.  Trust me, if your child has no escape or fight plan, I have no doubt he or she will not be able to come up with a plan when the BG grabs him/her (First Touch).  The heart rate will explode beyond 200 BPM and the child will freeze in place, becoming the Ideal Victim.
• KEEP TALKING.    The BG wants a victim who is not only an “inanimate object,” but also a quite one at that.
• INVITE WITNESSES.  On the off-chance there are other adults or children nearby, let them know you are in trouble.  “Help me, he is not my father!”

PHYSICAL COUNTERMEASURES:  Delaying the Predator in the Crime Scene.

• PUT OUT THE FIRE.  John Hall, the ingenious founder of Kid Escape, advocates that children be taught to perform acts designed to delay the predator’s ability to drag their victims away from the crime scene based on his understanding that the BG’s objective is speed, silence and victim-inactivity.  Using fun training games, teach your child to pretend his or her’s shirt is on fire and he has to roll on the ground to extinguish it.  Roll away from the BG.
• HUG LIKE A BUG.  “Putting Out the Fire” is a great delaying tactic, plus, it is not easy for an out of shape adult to capture the child when he is rolling on the floor.  However, eventually he will catch the kid.  When he does reach down to grab the child, teach him or her to roll toward him and quickly hook his or her hands around one leg and his or her feet around the other.  Shrimp up, duck his or her head and hold on for dear life. 
• SELF DEFENSE IS NOT AN INJURY-Free Activity.  Yes, if you are wondering, the abductor, desperate now, will likely try to strike and kick the kid, probably will drag him or her along the ground trying to dislodge the child.  Teach your child that the objective is to make the BG spend as much time and energy in the initial scene, betting that the delay will force him to break off the attack.  As hard as this will be, and as frightening is the prospect, teach the child that the primary goal is to remain in the First Place and to never, ever leave the scene with the predator, even if it means suffering injury.
• TARGET THE NOSE, EYES, THROAT. Conventional self defense against an adult predator is futile.  But Safety Coaches can teach their child how to effectively gouge eyes, head butt noses and drive a good Beak Strike, Web Strike or Side Hand into a throat.  Great  primary targets that even children can strike (or even bite) when the BG leans in to carry him or her off (More about the fabulous Beak and Web Strikes in a future post).
• HOOK ONTO TO ANYTHING TO KEEP FROM BEING CARRIED OFF. Children can save themselves by using the Hug Like a Bug tactic to keep from being dragged off a chair, a bicycle, a bed, etc.  Grab onto the object and hold on for dear life.  Make the BG pick you and the bike, bed, chair, whatever and tote it to his car.  Grab a tree branch, tree trunk, Stop Sign, telephone pole on your way to his car, also.
• FIGHT HIM EVEN IF HE GETS YOU INTO HIS CAR:

Ø       Make yourself into dead weight as he carries you, and, then, as he tries to shove you into the car, twist and spin and try to drop, just like a cat who doesn’t want to be held.

Ø       When he opens the door he has to ease up his grip on you.  Drop your head and upper torso forward and down quickly.  At the same time twist and squirm, and for a second you will slide a bit.  Now, quickly, hook onto his belt or waist with your hands and slide toward the ground.  Work your way down and now grab onto one of his legs and slide down.  I call this Drop, Lock and Roll.  If done right, the child can slide all the way down the BG’s leg, hook onto the ankle with his or her hands, and, eventually drop his or her legs until he or she can hook them around the other leg. 

Ø       The Element of Surprise.  The BG, if he is not expecting this, and, who would? Will be weakened by this act.

Ø       If the BG tries to throw the child into the front seat feet first and is holding his around his or her midsection, the child can delay the predator again, this time by placing  the feet against the front seat and pushing backwards.  He or she can also grab the seat belt at the top of the apparatus and hold on to that.

Ø       Hug Like A Bug Again.  Once again, the idea here is to delay the BG at the scene and/or to make the BG break off the abduction by being a Bad Victim.  Remember:  Teach your kid to act exactly the opposite of how the Ideal Victim (IV) would act.  Remember, the IV is passive, compliant, frightened and silent.  The BG wants nothing to do with a “crazy kid,” who makes a lot of noise; makes eye contact; acts defiant and makes a loud scene.  Here is your child’s opportunity to Make a Scene:

• Use the metal “male” portion of the seat belt to block the door from closing.
• Once the door is closed, but before he can seat belt the child (if he tells the kid to belt himself in, refuse), teach the child to “act” passive and contrite and to lay his or her head on the BG’s shoulder (after all, this is what he wants). 
• When the BG relaxes, the child should crawl into the BG’s lap (I know, crazy, right?).
• And, ASAP, the child Hugs the BG Like a Bug, face to face.  He or she can bite, head butt, reach and grab the keys from the ignition and toss them into the back seat.  Fight for his or her life.
• The predator now has two choices:

Ø       Allow the crazy kid to leave (Role Play with your child.  Teach him how to unlock a passenger car door).

Ø       Drive off with a Crazy Kid hooked to him, face to face (how far do you think he would get on the road?).

Until the next post.  Stay Safe.

Hammer

NOT too long ago a young boy was walking home with a hubcap he had found.  A car pulled up and a man rolled down the window and, in his “nicest” voice,  thanked the youngster for finding his hubcap.  “Would you mind walking over here and handing it to me?” he sang.

THE BOY dropped the hubcap where he stood and said in his nicest voice, “here it is, sir.” And continued on his way home.  When he arrived home, he did what I would have asked him to do in one of my CAT classes:  he consolidated the tactic by telling his mother about what had happened.  Predictably, when the boy and his mother walked back to the scene of the incident they found the hubcap where the boy had dropped it.

THIS brings up, then, exactly what tactics does CAT for Kids advocate to keep your children safe from the Chicken Hawks (child sexual predators and abductors)?

THE CAT FOR KIDS PARADIGM.

A caveat here.  There are several CAT paradigms.  Counter-Bully.  Counter-Abductors.  Escape and Evasion.  Preventive.  Physical Survival Strategies.  What you are about to read represents Escape and Evasion Tactics relative to the Hubcap Scenario.

• Safety Coaches (Parents) simply teach their child skills that the child is already good at.
• Safety Coaches Must Not Frighten Their Kids with words, etc.  “Never, ever do this.  He will kill you, rape you, cut you up, etc!
• Safety Coaches always supportive.  Tactics designed to get you back to us because we love you.  When child asks “Why would someone want to hurt me?”  Make certain you (The Safety Coach) makes it clear that “I don’t really know, but it is not your (the child’s) fault.  It’s the adult’s (the predator)!
• SAFETY COACH TEACHES SKILLS THE CHILD IS ALREADY GOOD AT:

Ø     Ignoring what an adult says.  If that adult or older youngster is not on your Safe List (list of people who are totally safe to talk to.  A very short list, by the way), do not engage in conversation.

Ø      Turn Off Your Ears.  No matter how nice he or she sounds.

Ø      Trust your gut instincts.  Kids are always saying, “I don’t know, Mom.  He just gives me The Creeps,” when the kid doesn’t want to kiss or hug a relative or friend of the family.  The Creeps are Gut Instincts and they are hardly ever wrong!

Ø      The CAT Golden Rule:  NEVER, EVER LEAVE THE FIRST PLACE WITH ANYONE, ESPECIALLY AN ADULT! 

Ø      Consolidate CAT.  Tell a trusted second (adult) person ASAP about the adult who tried to get your to leave the first place with his or her’s seductive “story.”

Ø      Consolidate CAT Rule Number 2 (Parents/Safety Coach must teach their child this).  Move away when adult calls you by name, or addresses you in any way (do not follow your instincts and inquire how he knows you by name), even when he says your parents have been injured.  Teach the child to say:  “Thank you for telling me.  I’ll go find mom and dad right now—“

Ø      Safety Coach Says:  Always Remember When Adult Starts talking To You: 

Ø     Keep Moving.

Ø     But do not turn your back to him (Predator-Prey-Principle).

Ø     It is not about you, honey.  It is their sickness.

Ø     Do Not Ask “Why?”  The only question in your mind is How can I escape now?”

Ø     If He “Has You and You Can’t Escape and Evade Him Right Now:

• Sit down and stay in that public place.  Help will come to you.
• Hug Like a Bug, like a Sit-In Protest.
• Sit-Ins are hard to pick up.  If he does try to pick you up and carry you off, though—-woops.  That is my next post:

Until Then, please Stay safe.

Hammer

I WOULD LIKE TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT.  The Fighting Arts against a bully (bullies) is benign compared to defending oneself against more pernicious types of attacks, where the Bad Guy’s goal includes your serious injury, humiliation, loss of properties and monies, and/or death.

YET probably, in both the short and long run, just as important.

The goal here is escape and evasion.  End of story, Dog.  Especially when the attack comes within the legal confines of your school (or workplace) where exists a Zero Tolerance against Fighting.  Don’t get me wrong:  if it comes down to a choice between going to the hospital or facing a suspension, I say lay the bully out.  But in 94 plus % of the situations, you can discourage future attacks and get out of Dodge at the same time.

Escape and Evasion – Ten Easy Steps.

1. Prepare.  The bully depends on you being so surprised and frightened by their

                     Attack that you freeze into inactivity.  If you think you have been targeted, decide how you are going to respond when it comes.  Commit yourself to The Plan.  Your plan should include not only a physical response, but your mental and verbal responses also.

1. Look Calm, Confident.  Not the end of the world if you look scared.  Also, not the end if you are scared.  Nevertheless, get together with your Safety Coach (parents, friend, teacher) and rehearse looking confident.
2. Cycle Breathe For Calm.  Train Calm by breathing in through your nose for a count of 2; holding your breath for a count of 2, then exhaling for a count of 2.  Repeat.
3. Keep Remarks Brief.  It is important to say something.  Verbalizing and breathing breaks up your fear and gets your mind and body into Action Mode.  Do not beg.  Make a brief declarative statement. 
   • “Stay where you are, Ace.  I can hear you fine from there.”
   • “What (as in “What are you looking at, Dude, or Dudette?”)?”
   • “What are you looking at?”
   • “You look pretty tense.  What can I do for you?”
4. De-escalate Thru Deflection.  Deflect any and all incoming insults, threats and intimidation through the Art of Deflection (the bully wants you to absorb verbal attacks, to take them seriously.  I want you to Depreciate these Verbal Icons!
   • “I’m ugly?  You bet.  That is the look I’m going for, girl.”
   • “I’m fat?  What the heck happened, girl?  Just an hour ago I looked like Heather Locklear.”
   • “You got yourself some pretty bad data there, Dude (response to a bully saying “you are a fagot and we’re gonna kick your ass all over the schoolyard!”).”

1. DISTRACT.  Escape and evasion can often happen after changing the bully’s channel, a metaphor I use for weakening and slowing him/her down by redirecting his or her mental and physical focus.  There are many Distraction Techniques (defined as weakening the attacker’s motor actions by changing his or her thought process).  Come up with your own distractions, but I have used several great ones to slow my attacker before I executed either a coupe de grace:
   • Coughing and backing up while pointing at the Bad Guy.  Stops ‘em cold.
   • “Hey, man, what’s that logo on your shirt (while backing up and pointing)?”
   • “Nice shoes (while pointing at his or her shoes).”
   • Shout real loud and point at him as he comes toward you.  “STOP!”
2. MOVE.  Don’t get caught flatfooted.  Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and sidle from side to side.
3. TURTLE-UP.  When the attack comes get your hands up and move in, tying up the bully.  Shuffle around with him. 
4. QUICK STRIKES TO OPEN TARGETS.  Deliver a quick strike to an open target.  If he or she is concentrating the attack high, go low.  Scoot your rearward foot quickly forward and drive the toe of your shoes hard into the bully’s lower shin.  Use his or her same side shoulder as a guide to strike that target every time.  This surprise strike will surprise the attacker and weaken his or her grip on you.  More likely than not, he or she will bring his or her head down, which offers a great target for an \ascending Palm Heel Strike to the chin or nose.
5. GO!

Until the Next Post.  Stay Safe.

Ham

I WOULD LIKE TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT.  The Fighting Arts against a bully (bullies) is benign compared to defending oneself against more pernicious types of attacks, where the Bad Guy’s goal includes your serious injury, humiliation, loss of properties and monies, and/or death.

YET probably, in both the short and long run, just as important.

The goal here is escape and evasion.  End of story, Dog.  Especially when the attack comes within the legal confines of your school (or workplace) where exists a Zero Tolerance against Fighting.  Don’t get me wrong:  if it comes down to a choice between going to the hospital or facing a suspension, I say lay the bully out.  But in 94 plus % of the situations, you can discourage future attacks and get out of Dodge at the same time.

Escape and Evasion – Ten Easy Steps.

1. Prepare.  The bully depends on you being so surprised and frightened by their

                     Attack that you freeze into inactivity.  If you think you have been targeted, decide how you are going to respond when it comes.  Commit yourself to The Plan.  Your plan should include not only a physical response, but your mental and verbal responses also.

1. Look Calm, Confident.  Not the end of the world if you look scared.  Also, not the end if you are scared.  Nevertheless, get together with your Safety Coach (parents, friend, teacher) and rehearse looking confident.
2. Cycle Breathe For Calm.  Train Calm by breathing in through your nose for a count of 2; holding your breath for a count of 2, then exhaling for a count of 2.  Repeat.
3. Keep Remarks Brief.  It is important to say something.  Verbalizing and breathing breaks up your fear and gets your mind and body into Action Mode.  Do not beg.  Make a brief declarative statement. 
   • “Stay where you are, Ace.  I can hear you fine from there.”
   • “What (as in “What are you looking at, Dude, or Dudette?”)?”
   • “What are you looking at?”
   • “You look pretty tense.  What can I do for you?”
4. De-escalate Thru Deflection.  Deflect any and all incoming insults, threats and intimidation through the Art of Deflection (the bully wants you to absorb verbal attacks, to take them seriously.  I want you to Depreciate these Verbal Icons!
   • “I’m ugly?  You bet.  That is the look I’m going for, girl.”
   • “I’m fat?  What the heck happened, girl?  Just an hour ago I looked like Heather Locklear.”
   • “You got yourself some pretty bad data there, Dude (response to a bully saying “you are a fagot and we’re gonna kick your ass all over the schoolyard!”).”

1. DISTRACT.  Escape and evasion can often happen after changing the bully’s channel, a metaphor I use for weakening and slowing him/her down by redirecting his or her mental and physical focus.  There are many Distraction Techniques (defined as weakening the attacker’s motor actions by changing his or her thought process).  Come up with your own distractions, but I have used several great ones to slow my attacker before I executed either a coupe de grace:
   • Coughing and backing up while pointing at the Bad Guy.  Stops ‘em cold.
   • “Hey, man, what’s that logo on your shirt (while backing up and pointing)?”
   • “Nice shoes (while pointing at his or her shoes).”
   • Shout real loud and point at him as he comes toward you.  “STOP!”
2. MOVE.  Don’t get caught flatfooted.  Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and sidle from side to side.
3. TURTLE-UP.  When the attack comes get your hands up and move in, tying up the bully.  Shuffle around with him. 
4. QUICK STRIKES TO OPEN TARGETS.  Deliver a quick strike to an open target.  If he or she is concentrating the attack high, go low.  Scoot your rearward foot quickly forward and drive the toe of your shoes hard into the bully’s lower shin.  Use his or her same side shoulder as a guide to strike that target every time.  This surprise strike will surprise the attacker and weaken his or her grip on you.  More likely than not, he or she will bring his or her head down, which offers a great target for an \ascending Palm Heel Strike to the chin or nose.
5. GO!

Until the Next Post.  Stay Safe.

Ham

I WOULD LIKE TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT.  The Fighting Arts against a bully (bullies) is benign compared to defending oneself against more pernicious types of attacks, where the Bad Guy’s goal includes your serious injury, humiliation, loss of properties and monies, and/or death.

YET probably, in both the short and long run, just as important.

The goal here is escape and evasion.  End of story, Dog.  Especially when the attack comes within the legal confines of your school (or workplace) where exists a Zero Tolerance against Fighting.  Don’t get me wrong:  if it comes down to a choice between going to the hospital or facing a suspension, I say lay the bully out.  But in 94 plus % of the situations, you can discourage future attacks and get out of Dodge at the same time.

Escape and Evasion – Ten Easy Steps.

1. Prepare.  The bully depends on you being so surprised and frightened by their

                     Attack that you freeze into inactivity.  If you think you have been targeted, decide how you are going to respond when it comes.  Commit yourself to The Plan.  Your plan should include not only a physical response, but your mental and verbal responses also.

1. Look Calm, Confident.  Not the end of the world if you look scared.  Also, not the end if you are scared.  Nevertheless, get together with your Safety Coach (parents, friend, teacher) and rehearse looking confident.
2. Cycle Breathe For Calm.  Train Calm by breathing in through your nose for a count of 2; holding your breath for a count of 2, then exhaling for a count of 2.  Repeat.
3. Keep Remarks Brief.  It is important to say something.  Verbalizing and breathing breaks up your fear and gets your mind and body into Action Mode.  Do not beg.  Make a brief declarative statement. 
   • “Stay where you are, Ace.  I can hear you fine from there.”
   • “What (as in “What are you looking at, Dude, or Dudette?”)?”
   • “What are you looking at?”
   • “You look pretty tense.  What can I do for you?”
4. De-escalate Thru Deflection.  Deflect any and all incoming insults, threats and intimidation through the Art of Deflection (the bully wants you to absorb verbal attacks, to take them seriously.  I want you to Depreciate these Verbal Icons!
   • “I’m ugly?  You bet.  That is the look I’m going for, girl.”
   • “I’m fat?  What the heck happened, girl?  Just an hour ago I looked like Heather Locklear.”
   • “You got yourself some pretty bad data there, Dude (response to a bully saying “you are a fagot and we’re gonna kick your ass all over the schoolyard!”).”

1. DISTRACT.  Escape and evasion can often happen after changing the bully’s channel, a metaphor I use for weakening and slowing him/her down by redirecting his or her mental and physical focus.  There are many Distraction Techniques (defined as weakening the attacker’s motor actions by changing his or her thought process).  Come up with your own distractions, but I have used several great ones to slow my attacker before I executed either a coupe de grace:
   • Coughing and backing up while pointing at the Bad Guy.  Stops ‘em cold.
   • “Hey, man, what’s that logo on your shirt (while backing up and pointing)?”
   • “Nice shoes (while pointing at his or her shoes).”
   • Shout real loud and point at him as he comes toward you.  “STOP!”
2. MOVE.  Don’t get caught flatfooted.  Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and sidle from side to side.
3. TURTLE-UP.  When the attack comes get your hands up and move in, tying up the bully.  Shuffle around with him. 
4. QUICK STRIKES TO OPEN TARGETS.  Deliver a quick strike to an open target.  If he or she is concentrating the attack high, go low.  Scoot your rearward foot quickly forward and drive the toe of your shoes hard into the bully’s lower shin.  Use his or her same side shoulder as a guide to strike that target every time.  This surprise strike will surprise the attacker and weaken his or her grip on you.  More likely than not, he or she will bring his or her head down, which offers a great target for an \ascending Palm Heel Strike to the chin or nose.
5. GO!

Until the Next Post.  Stay Safe.

Ham

I am a bit surprised, to tell the truth, that I haven’t seen some criticism following my last post (“Bully Be Gone – Now!”)in which I boasted that if a youngster followed my suggestions, I guaranteed that all bullying would cease, like right then and there.  After I thought about it a while, though, I realized that there were too many types of bullying to make that boast.

TRUTH IS, the formula I propounded in my last post will most likely stop conventional bullying in its tracks – probably – but what does a kid do when he or she is a victim of telephone, computer, vicious rumor and other types of indirect bullying.

FOR INSTANCE, the youngster is standing, facing his or her locker, preoccupied, when one or more bullies approaches and (1)  pushes the unsuspecting kid face first into the locker; or, (2) a bully sneaks up behind another kid and knee bumps him or her above the shin (Tibial), causing his or her legs to collapse; or, (3) one student engages the victim in a conversation while another student kneels down behind the victim, and then the first student shoves the victim backwards with disastrous results.

INJURY MIGHT or might not result, but relentless embarrassment and even humiliation will definitely follow.  So, question is, what should the victim do to minimize the dame and/or to prevent future bullying?  The answer is not easy, but it is an answer nevertheless.

If the child knows who the assailant(s) are/is, I believe it is important for him or her to at least let the bully(ies) know he/she knows who they are and what they are up to.  Threats, intimidation and/or reprisal is not necessary.  A benign but sarcastic comment might be enough.  “Pretty cute, guys.  I was impressed.  Now, how about cutting it out, okay?”

This may be controversial, but I would tell your parents, if it continues.  Seek their counsel.  If it is a one-time act, I would keep it at home, especially if the child verbally confronts the bully(ies).  If it continues, then I believe it is time to advise the school of the bullying.

If you don’t know who the bully(ies) is/are, be aware that you have probably been targeted for whatever reason. If it happens once, it will probably happen again.  Stay alert, aware, assess the body language of those around you, and trust your gut feelings.  Prepare to protect yourself and to do whatever is necessary to stop bullying in its tracks.  Any student(s) approaching you with that cocky walk, that tell tale sneer on his, her, their face(s), anything that kicks off your “Spidey Senses,” should be treated without mercy.

By that I mean, stand tall, free up your hands, drop your power foot back and look confident and calm.  A wry smile working its way across your face wouldn’t hurt, either.  Do not look down and do not look away unless you want to liberate the Predator-Prey-Trigger in one or more of the bullies. 

A ‘trick” I used with success was to dramatically drop whatever it was I was holding in my hands as the potential assailant moved in with that intimidating “Target Stare” on his face.  Up to you, of course, but the trick left little doubt that I was ready to go to the bridge if it came down to it.

Keep your remarks brief.  “What?”  might just be enough.  “What you lookin’ at, Dude (or, Dog)?”  might even be better.  Your choice.  Always protect your PSZ (Personal Safe Zone)!  This is crucial.  Do not let anyone within five feet. 

“That’s close enough, Dog,” or some such warning statement, is necessary to say as the bully strides in despite your warning.  Once that distance is penetrated, especially when you have made it clear that was a no-no, you must do several things:

1.      J-Step, or move evasively.  Gain distance.  Do not cement yourself to the ground.

2.      Attain a Combat Ready Stance. 

3.      Breathe.

4.      Have a Pre-Planned Counterattack Strategy.  Always have a Plan-A and a Plan-B.  When your heart rate spikes beyond 175 BPM (Survival Stress will occur when you are either aggressive or fearful/you won’t be fearful if you have a plan of action and you are simply being task oriented, trust me), you will find it hard to formulate a fighting plan.

5.      Carry Out The Plan (only) When “Push Comes To Shove.”

6.      Invoke the Element Of Surprise:  The bully has advanced inside your PSZ most likely because he or she has taken you lightly and/or is acting for the “benefit” of his peer group.  In the latter case, he will not back down.  A great Counter-Bully Surprise Strategy is to put up your hands (face high, palms out, hands moving back and forth) in a Compliance Stance and “beg” the bully, “Please don’t hurt me; please don’t hurt me!”  As he moves in over-confidently, shoot one or both of your hands and hit him hard with the heel of your palm(s).   If the bully reaches out and grabs you by your shirt or neck, this is even better.  Grab hold of that hand and freeze it there.  There is no possible way the bully can block your incoming punch.  Open His Gate, then, by spinning his elbow toward you, step through the gate and go one your way (making sure not to turn your back on the bully).

THE FIGHTING ARTS AGAINST A BULLY

·     NEVER LOOK AFRAID.  LOOK EITHER BORED OR BARELY INTERESTED WHEN HE TRIES TO INTIMIDATE YOU.

·     KEEP YOUR REMARKS BRIEF.

·     USE GOOD DE-ESCALATION TECHNMIQUES.  DEFLECT PERSONAL INSULTS WITH REMARKS SHOWING DISINTEREST:  “Ugly?  Yeah, I guess I aint no Brad Pitt. “

·     USE DISTRACTION TECHNIQUES:  Shatter the bully’s mental and physical script by changing his channel from where he or she is to where you want him to be (your channel).  Distractions weaken the bully.  “Who the heck is that, Butch?”  “Holy cow, who’s ride is that (pointing in another direction)?”

·     Always move.

·     Turtle Up and Tie the Bully Up.

·     Escape and Evade ASAP.

In the next post:  More About the Physical Counter-Bully Techniques.  Until then.  Stay Safe.

Hammer

BULLY BE GONE—NOW!

From what I can see, boys and girls are being bullied in our schools and neighborhoods more than ever before.  Bullied in all its pernicious forms.  The good news is, unlike all the other self defense situations, there is a definite and distinct counter-bullying strategy that I can pretty much guarantee will unceremoniously dismiss the gangster wannabe in pretty short order.

Understanding that the bully has a simple script in his or her head.  Driven by seeing, sensing and/or smelling the victim’s (debilitating and paralyzing) fear is central to the attack.  His or her victim’s fear is like blood on the water to a shark.  Moreover, the more the victim not only shows fear but does not act , the more confident, the bolder will be the bully.  This is a bad thing, Hammer Fans, because the fear-driven bully will rarely be satisfied with scaring the bejesus out of his or her prey; more often than not, the script will not end until his or her poor prey gets pretty badly damaged, both physically and emotionally.

STEP 1:  Be Aware.  You are Being Marked.

Awareness is a great strategic component.  Simply being aware that there are a handful of miserable youngsters out there who shark the schoolyard and hallways of your school or neighborhood tracking and hunting for an easy victim.  Often, a bully becomes a bully almost inadvertently when he or she finds a boy or girl he or she just plain does not like (or, is part of a peer group who chooses to target a particular child/teenager) and when he/she taunts that child discovers that the kid is scared to death.  Most bullies, however, have been bullies ever since they could curl their fist, and, these are the bitches and bastards who are going to harass you until they learn that it does not work on you!

There is nothing subtle about being aware.  You will know you have been chosen as a target the minute he or she begins to harass and torment you, so just being Aware is not enough.

Step 2:  No Free Lunch, Baby!

BULLIES want a Free Lunch, or Easy Target.  They will rarely choose prey that displays confidence and fearlessness.  Did I say, rarely?  Make that Never.  Therefore, it make sense to take inventory of how you present yourself to others, especially those jerks and jerkettes who might be lurking your neighborhood and school yards trolling for victims.

1. Stride CONFIDENTLY  when you walk.
2. Eyeball your surroundings.  Let the potential bully know you are aware of him or her and you are ready.  If he or she approaches, do not look down or away, even though you may want to do so.  Maintain steady eye contact, although do not challenge him with constant eye-contact, which will be interpreted as a challenge.
3. LESS IS MORE.  Keep your verbal response or comments brief.  A good one might be, “What?”  Avoid any lengthy statements and repetitive “requests” that will be interpreted as weakness (“Please leave me alone.  I don’t want any trouble.”).
4. LOOK ANNOYED OR BORED.  The great John Hall, founder of Bully Escape and Kid Escape, advocates looking bored.  I advocate a look of Hey, I really don’t have time for this crap.  Whatever you do, Do Not Looked Scared, Dude or Dudette!
5. BE A WISE GUY/GAL.  By now, many would-be bullies will have excused themselves and moved on to other victims.  But for the determined, semi-pro bully who is still in your face and hurling personal threat and insults, I advocate showing moxie in the face of all those insults and intimidation.  Sarcasm works well, trust me.  “Hey, bitch, that’s the ugliest dress I ever saw (female bully).”  Sarcastic Response:  “Oh, goody.  I should do pretty well in the Stupidest Dress Contest next week.”
6. USE A DISRACTION TECHNIQUE.  The longer this confrontation goes on, the more the danger of an attack.  Especially if a crowd gathers.  The bully may feel compelled to forge ahead with an attack because withdrawing  or disengaging is not an option.  Look for an opportunity to break away.  I teach kids to look away from the bully and say something like “Hey, Connie, or use any applicable name here,” and point at the “person (there could be a real or imaginary person here).”  The point here is to re-direct the jerkette or jerk’s focus away from you, the target.  When the bully turns to look, place your hand above his or her elbow and rotate him or her around (about 90 degrees), a technique I call Opening The Gate) and simply step through the gate and disengage.  One caveat:  Do not turn your back on the bully.  Sidle away, keeping your eyes on him/her.
7. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, PUSH OR SHOVE.  Always be ready to fight, if it comes down to it.  Just the determination to fight will give you an aura of readiness that all bullies recognize. 

THE FIGHTING ARTS AND BULLIES

In the next post – The Fighting Arts and Counter-Bully Techniques.

Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

ACTION AGAINST VIOLENCE

January 21, 2009

SUPER SECRET SELF DEFENSE STUFF – The Highway To Heaven.

According to Tim Larkin, the founder of Target Focused Training,” there are over 170 viable targets on the body that can cause a predictable response when a trauma is delivered to a target.”  Larkin goes on to say that the “key principle is to cause a spinal reflex reaction (an involuntary or automatic response).” 

The spinal reflex reaction (SRR) is a key to successful self defense, especially when it’s executed by a smaller, weaker fighter.  The SRR is a Game Changer, baby. 

So, in my next few posts I will talk with you about a few attack countermeasures that are virtually unknown to the average person, but, even if you are a small inexperienced fighter and not a BPH (Big Power Hitter), if you hit the target, you can change the game – Big Time.   

SUPER SECRET SELF DEFENSE SHIT NUMBER 1:  The Brachial Plexus Origin and the Highway To Heaven.

A quick intro to the Brachial Plexus Origin Nerve Motor Point, It is formed by many nerve fibers stemming from the vertebrae in the neck.  These nerves meet at the side of the neck, approximately three inches from the base.  This nerve pressure point is located on both sides of the neck, each of which are in close proximity to the brain, so hard, accurate strikes can immediately do two crucial things that can change a fight in your favor:

1. Change the attacker’s “channel.”  This is cool, Dog.  The attacker’s brain is on, let’s say, channel 6, his favorite station.  Everything is pretty cool on 6; things are going his way, you are back peddling, he has his script intact, and he is pulling you closer, because on 6, the script reads that he pulls you in, knocks you silly with one more punch, and, once you are knocked out, he will drag you into an alley, rape you, rob you, and—-Whop, Whop—two quick strikes to the side of the neck by the smaller, weaker victim, and now he is on channel 22, and things ain’t going so hot now.  The strikes have not only surprised him, but, more importantly, they have distracted him by changing his thought process, or channel.

      When  the Bad Guy’s thought  process changes it shatters the connection between his brain and his motor functions, thereby weakening him.

1. Stuns the Bad Guy.  While the Distraction I talked about above lasts less than 3 seconds, a Stun will weaken and/or stop the attacker for 3 to 7 seconds.  Why?  Because we are talking stimulation of overwhelming input that is sudden, intense, and unexpected. 

Think of it:  a strike to an always open, vulnerable and easy to access target that can give you anywhere from 2 to 7 seconds to hit other targets that will definitely open up.  Or, in extreme cases, just walk away unharmed.  Where is this magical mystery land?

Take your thumb and run it down from your ear lobe onto the side of your neck.  You will feel a tight cord running vertically toward your shoulder.  Now, press horizontally with your thumb, straight across your neck.  Press fairly hard.  Feel anything?  Indeed.

Consider striking the Brachial Plexus forcefully with your hand or arm and you have a considerable Game Changer here.

This target is perfect for the (intended) victim of an attack where the Bad Guy pulls you in close.  Think about this, Hammer Fans:  The sides of the neck are located at the end of each shoulder, making each a cinch to locate.  Once the Bad Guy pulls you in, wait for your opportunity and drive your strikes into the side(s) of the neck with the Heel of your Palm; Back of your Hand; Inside of your Forearm; and Back of your Forearm.  Use the torque of your hips to add power and aim through the target to the other side (never just hit and bounce off).  Think of the shoulders as The Highway To Heaven.  No matter what you do, if you use the shoulder as a map, you will always find gold at the end of it.

When I train law enforcement officers in the Brachial Plexus Stun I limit them to the use of the hands and the forearms, cautioning them against striking with the bony part of their hands, wrists, etc. because striking with the ridge of the hands, et al can cause chipping of the cervical vertebrae.  However, in a self defense situation when you are the victim of an unprovoked attack from close quarters with unimaginable consequences for failing to defend yourself, anything goes, Baby!  You have a cell phone in your hand, drive the hardest end of it into the target.  Use your fists; clasp both hands together and drive both into the target.

One caveat here:  I have been knockled out by good Brachial Plexus stuns during hand-to-hand training session.  Indeed, I have knocked out Bad Guys in real life with it.  But, if not delivered forcefully and using the Fluid Shockwave Principle (described in past posts), the strike may be ineffective unless followed up with other strikes, etc.  It is best that you consult a self defense instructor re this technique and learn it through real hand-to-hand training.

Whatever gets you home safely.  Next Post:  More Super Secret Self Defense Shit.  Until then, stay safe.

Hammer

MY last post talked about the Ideal Victim whom almost all predators target.  Course, the intent of the post, as with any other, is to point out cogent characteristics, traits, mindsets and actions that can get you abducted and maybe even killed.  It is my hope that you read the post, take inventory of yourself (if, of course, the shoe fits), and do what you can to make the changes that will help you make yourself into what I call a Hard Target rather than – if you match the Victim Profile – a Free Lunch for the predator.  Maybe the best way to begin doing this is to adopt the primal philosophy of the Fighting Arts, which in the instance of a prospective assailant approaching you, “testing or interviewing” you, and, then suddenly invading your personal safe zone and grabbing you (First Touch) is to take the fight to the attacker (before he can take it to you).

I am hip.  You’re thinking, Uh, Duh, no crap, Hammer, but exactly how do I – an 110 pound woman with no fighting experience or instincts, do that?  Tell me, genius, how exactly does that work? 

A little snippy in the attitude-department, but, still good point.  So, here we go:

• First, if you develop a Hard Target (Assertive) Personality, I really believe you will rarely have to fight.  An HTA (Hard target Attitude) will immediately reject any approach, but, even when the Bad Guy approaches, you are going to reject any verbal testing and are going to have a definitive strategy against any touching.

• Get your mind straight.  Being willing to fight is more important than being able. 
• Get Your Mind Straight, Part II:  Willingness is very cool and chic; but the key to putting willingness into action is developing the Psyche Of Survival.  This Psyche can also be called Mental Conditioning, and it involves some crucial elements to firing up all your neurons in your Central Nervous System in order to be able to explode into action when the over-confident idiot makes the mistake of First Touch (ing you).

Ø     Think Ahead:  Ask yourself before you even go out, answer a door, or go in to a strange (or, even familiar) locale:  “What If?”  Always have a Plan.  What would I do if someone grabs me from behind here?

Ø     Trust Your Gut Instincts.  Millions of years of evolution making the hair stand up on the back of your neck.  Either get out (escape and evade), or get ready to fight.  Gut Instincts are never wrong, folks.

Ø     “Explode At First Touch!”  When the Bad Guy “touches” you, it is almost always the first step in the attack.  This is when you must take the fight to him!  Invoke the Element of Surprise when he most expects you to freeze and give up.

Ø     Train Yourself To Take The Survivor’s Edge by Breathing, Moving, Verbalizing, which will break you out of the mental/physical paralysis this type of situation often invokes.  I know I have said this all before, but, 9 out of 10 victims lose the fight before it begins by holding their breath, freezing in place, and going frigging mute. 

• Attacking first is a great equalizer.  Puts the Bad Guy back on his heels, fractures his attack-fantasy-script to hell and back, thereby weakening him because of the breakdown between his original plan (mental) and his motor abilities (physical).

• There Aint No Such Thing As a Fair Fight.  Remember, this is a fight for survival.  Hit first, hit often and keep moving.  Stay focused on open targets.  Do not think!  Just hit the targets with your best striking zones (Palm Heels/ElbowsForehead/Forearms/Knees/Shins, et al., and hit targets with the greatest dollar value.  Targets that, when hit over and over, will prevent the Bad Guy from seeing, hearing, breathing, ambulating, even thinking. 

• Concentrating On Open Targets Makes You Task Oriented.  Being task-oriented helps overcome the debilitating element of fear.  Allow adrenaline to give you power.  Fear only robs you of speed, power and commitment to survival.

In the next post:  How To Know When An Attack Is Inevitable.

Until Then:  Stay Safe.

Hammer

Truth is, I love to talk.  Probably why I got into training in the first place.  It didn’t take me long, however, to learn the crucial fact that in the heat of battle, when the rubber hit the road – how about that?  Two overused clichés in the same sentence – my student/officers could only perform – with any reliability moves, tactics, techniques and countermeasures they had been trained under the following circumstances:

·         Over 75% of trainees reported that they had been able to perform, under (survival) stress, countermeasures they had learned and experienced during  realistic training simulations and scenarios.

·         About 50% reported that they “almost automatically” performed “combat countermeasures they had Hard Wired during repetitive Stimulus Response Training Drills.

·         A very low percentage of my trainees reported that they were able to automatically rely on escape and evasion moves, etc. that they had learned during training dills where either I “taught” them through either lecture or Static Drills where they learned only a technique or an escape move without any nexus to a resistance stimulus, et al.

To boil this down, the primal fact is, for a parent or teacher who wishes to be an effective Safety Coach and help keep their children safe from predators is – Talk to your kids, by all means, but when it comes to training them to stay safe:

·         Show them more than tell them to Soft Wire the skill in their beautiful Mind’s Eye.

·         Have them do what you show them at least 10 times @ (Repetition equals Hard Wiring).

·         And when they do it, have them do it against a Bad Guy (realistic scenarios and role plays with a Safety Coach), so there is a realistic threat stimulus portraying an act that a predator/bully, et al might perform in a realistic attack scenario.  The Stimulus Response Training Principle works.  Trust me.

But you might be thinking wait a second, The Hammer was teaching hardened, adult, combat tested adult officers.  I want to train my 6 year old.  What’s up with that?   If you are, you are right.  Different subjects call for different approaches.  Realistic “combat” scenarios will likely scare the bejeesus out of a 6 year old, so—-

·         Make sure you teach via games instead of scenarios.

·         Kids learn best when they actively participate and they do that when they are having fun.

·         Take into account your children’s limited attention span.  Dynamic and quick are the keys.

·         Here is a tricky training principle, though:  You gotta Create a Need for the Skill.  If you play Escape and Evasion Games (which is what I am suggesting), your child(ren) must know what they are being trained against.  If you simply play a Breathing Game, or a Twister Game, but do not explain why they are learning this skill(s) and why it is important (survival against an adult who intends to take them away from their parents), the games will have no meaning.

·         The trick, then, is to play fun, relevant Escape and Evasion Games, but to explain upon the start pf each and every game why he/she/they are playing the game, what is/are the key skills they are learning, how and when the skills should be used.

I call these CAT (Counter Abduction Techniques) Games.  Of course, you can call them what you wish.  CAT Games are easy to devise on your own.  All you need do is understand what sneaky, vile and pernicious tactic sexual predators have used over the years to trick and seduce children to at first trust them and finally to leave the initial scene (where the child was approached) and go in the company of the abductor to a secondary, or more isolated environment.  Finally, you need to come up with a few physical tactics an abductor would use to quickly grab your child, toss him or her into a car and whisk him or her away.

If you need any help with what I suggested in the previous paragraph, all you need to is peruse some of my previous posts, and bang, you got yourself a game.  An example of a Safety Coach creating his own game is a friend of mine – Chris Pagotto, an MMA fighter – who devised a game requiring fighting and movement.  Chris placed different color mats on his basement floor (you don’t need mats, you can jury rig your own scheme), armed himself with a whistle and devised two games:

1.    Whistle Game:  Chris would fight, playfully but with the intent of acting out an adult trying to grab a child.  His kids would gleefully wrestle with him, using techniques he taught, like the Eye Gouge (goggles), Throat Chop, etc.  They would skillfully roll off him, Crab Walk quickly away.  When Chris blew a whistle, though, the kids would perform whatever skill(s) he was teaching that day, like performing an evasive roll followed by a Tactical Stand-Up and Escape; Cycle Breathing; running in a Zig Zag Pattern, etc.

2.    Jumping Game:  During their Play-Fighting, Chris would toss a child onto a different color pad.  When the child hit that pad he or she would perform whatever movement he was teaching that day.  Movement is a key Escape & Evasion skill.  Too many kids cement themselves to the ground.

3.    Twister:  I play variations of the old Twister Game with my students.  The primary skill is to twist away from the Bad Guy’s clutches and glom onto a body part, twist and glom onto another body part, so that the effect is the harder the Bad Guy tries the more body parts the child is glommed onto.  You can use Twister to teach your child to hook onto trees, bed posts, bikes, telephone poles, fences, whatever it takes to prevent him or herself from being abducted.

          Until Nest Time, Stay Safe.

          Hammer

WAY TOO MANY children go through Hell at school almost every day.  It affects almost everything they do or don’t do.  Like eating, sleeping, studying.  It retards their relationships with others, and, in some cases, affects their self image all the way through adulthood.  Maybe all the way to the grave.

MY STUDIES show that over 3.2 million children and teens are victimized each year.  Making it more pernicious is the humiliation factor resulting in only 33% of kids eventually telling their sad stories to a teacher, much less than that to a parent.  It is a painful secret that too many carry with them in desperate silence, making them a victim over again and again in their nightmares and almost every waking thought.

BULLYING is timeless, relentless and ubiquitous in our schools and playgrounds.  Hell, it is an integral part of our society.  This is why I have poured myself into training children and parents on how to end bullying, at least in their individual worlds.  I admit, there is no counter-bullying blueprint, but there are easy-to-teach (and learn) techniques that really, really work.

TEACHERS, PARENTS – BECOME SAFETY COACHES

1. Concerned parents and teachers can start a Bully-Be-Gone Program simply by talking with kids.  Show interest in their school life.  There are specific questions you can ask, not only to show interest, but to find out if bullying is happening , and, if so, to what degree.
2. Never tell a child to ignore the bully and never blame the child.  Instead listen, actively listen to the child without criticizing.  Empathize, please.
3. Keep emotions in check.  Advise school authorities of the facts as you (think you) know them.  Let the authorities know you are looking for a resolution.
4. TEACH THE CHILD COUNTER-BULLYING TECHNIQUES AND SKILLS:  These can be taught in a non-threatening, fun and safe way to your child.  In a subsequent post I will go into some fun and interactive ways parents and/or teachers (Safety Coaches) can teach these skills – much like I do – in a way that does not frighten the child while concomitantly motivating him or her to practice these skills at least once a week.
   • BREATHE DON’T FREEZE.  Start off with this one because 9 out of 10 victims, when confronted by a bully or adult predator, for that matter, hold their breath and freeze in place like a deer frozen in the lights of an oncoming car.  Whenever you role play a scenario, make sure that the first thing the child does is breathe tactically.  Does two great things:  One, it pumps oxygenated blood into the kid’s system that empowers him ort her to think and act.  Two, if done right, it can scare the bejezus out of the bully.  In my classes the scenario plays out with the bully confronting the intended victim and the boy or girl makes tight fists (the act of tightening the fist triggers the predator instinct within the child and sends a message to the Central Nervous System that impels blood to flow freely) and then he or she begins to expel air through his/her mouth and making exaggerated “blowing” sounds.
   • Felony Face.  Fear is more contagious than courage, but never forget anger, determination and courage can be communicated non-verbally!  Teach the child to be a good actor/actress.  Make a face that communicates to the bully that he or she is no Free Lunch, no easy victim.
   • Interview Stance.  Teach the child an “interview stance” that communicates readiness.
   • Verbalize.  In this limited post I can’t go into too many specifics, but suffice to say that almost all easy victims say nothing when confronted.  Almost every bullying attack is preceded by an “interview” where the bully sizes up his or her victim and paralyzes him or her in fear.  It makes sense, then, to develop a simple but assertive verbal script. 
   • Happy Feet.  Teach the child not to plant his or her feet “in cement.”  Keep moving.  This allows the child to maintain a Personal Safe Zone and to control his or her space. 

More likely than not, if the child/teenager breathes; looks like he/she is willing to fight, if necessary; maintains a good “Interview Stance” that communicates not only readiness, but is balanced and in a constant state of motion (power stems from a sort of “wave” that flows through the body, enhanced by motion) and is combined with assertive language (“C’mon, Butch, we really don’t have to do this, man.”), it is axiomatic that 9 out of 10 bullies will back off in a hurry.  But, Hammer Fans, as sweet as that sounds, the fact is, despite your child or teen’s best efforts, some bullies will still attack, probably because a crowd has gathered and now they have to act tough for the crowd.  So, what now Safety Coaches?

In the next post I will go into the physical tactics that will send that pesky bully running fast in the other direction.

Until then, Stay Safe.

Hammer