Not to rag on my class, cause I love them, but I just finished a Self Defense for Women program at a local community college, and once again, for the 14th consecutive program, not one of the women – despite my urging to the contrary – ever uttered one “kai!” when responding to an “attack” during the 4-week course!
Mind you, it’s probably a reflection on my instruction. I really have to come up with a creative way, in the early stages of the program, to encourage the women to reach down inside and bring out a gutteral yell when fighting, or, shout in a bad guy’s face when he has the nerve to invade their personal space.
But, Hell’s Fire, ladies, think about this: Who do you think look and acts more like an Ideal Victim to a predator? A woman who, when approached by a stranger, or grabbed by surprise, says nothing and does nothing for a second or two, and who holds her breath – yeh, that’s another thing, during Red Man drills, unless I yell out, “Breathe, dammitt!” the woman not only say nothing, they rarely breathe – or, a woman, who, immediately upon being touched or approached, yells out in obvious anger at the stranger, takes a step or two to regain her distance, and explodes into some kind of action?
Well, of course, the noisy woman who becomes a blur of sound and movement is the woman who is prepared to Fight Like a Girl—and Win! The silent one, when “tested” by the stranger stays quiet and still, is your Ideal Victim.
The lesson here is dog crap simple. Be you a woman, girl, man or boy, learn to break whatever tendency to be meek and silent. Whoever socialized you to be a “nice girl/boy” did you no favor when it comes to self defense. Re-socialize yourself and give yourself permission to Mad Dog It (one of the themes of my SD training). Draw that animal from inside you and BE THE BEAST/BE THE MAD DOG!
Not only will making noise (scream Kai! when you hit) save you during a fight, it may prevent you from being chosen as a victim in the first place. So, when you think you are facing a possible attack, say something (prepare ahead of time with something to say to make the bad guy reconsider you as a victim (”What do YOU want?” “Don’t I know your mother?” “Get back now!”).
If ever grabbed by a stranger, use his First Touch as a Trigger to explode into both sound and action!
Stay safe until next time.