DALLAS; BATON ROUGE; MINNESOTA; NICE, FRANCE. CAN DE-ESCALATION TRAINING SAVE THE WORLD?

My fear is that there ain’t nothing that can save the world.  Thing is, I bet I am not alone in my fear.  I wager that most people are fearful.  Okay, maybe not the terrorists, who are united in their hatred for anyone in the world who do not ascribe to their way of living or their sick belief system.

So, here I go with my theory about de-escalation.  It is not only a training system (Management of Aggressive Behavior, Verbal Judo and my Advanced De-Escalation Technique System), but it can, or more, it must be, a belief system, maybe even a way of life, for all of us in law enforcement and the “helping” professions.

What I mean by this is (the way I see it) the public has their own perceptions about law enforcement.  So do law enforcement.  When our paths intersect, these two mindsets also collide.

By now you may know that I make a living training and certifying law enforcement.  Many confide in me that they often go into (hostile) neighborhoods with the genuine intent of being open, sincere and helping, but seconds after emerging from a cruiser, the person whom is in some sort of “shitstorm” of trouble or distress verbally attacks them, calls them names, and even rushes them in a way and in a manner that causes their emotions (Sympathetic Nervous System, or Flight or Fight) to spike up to the “Danger Zone (220 beats a minute or higher).”

“You play hell trying to de-escalate a dude or dudette with that kind of mentality,” one cop said to me.  “I swear, I do try.  But it is hell on earth.”

Which is why I am advocating again and again that law enforcement invest in de-escalation training.  Studies show that more than 10-percent of the population cannot be de-escalated.  This may be true, but in my point of view, de-escalation is not only about calming people and scenes, it is about being able to deal with aggression and verbal hostility in such a way and in such a manner that the officer and the civilian emerge from the interaction intact.

It is about being able to anticipate harsh and hostile attitudes and have a plan of action designed to intervene in the safest way.

It is about being able to Defuse Yourself First before managing the subject’s hostility.

It is about not taking predictable (verbal) attacks personal.  Being able to depreciate the verbal icon (“Screw you, you fu**ing moron!”).

It is about Eliminating Your Ego!  Ego, I think, is the most dangerous word in a cop’s vernacular.  Remember:  “The more ego an officer shows during a confrontation, the Less Power and Control He Can Exercise!

I have a book coming out.  The Most Unnatural Act of All -De-Escalation for Law Enforcement.

Until then, stay safe and, by all means, Stay Cool While Everyone Else Is Hot!  Read how to do that in future posts.

The Hammer

 

LET’S GET A HANDLE ON BULLYING. HOW ‘BOUT IT?

This past weekend, a 15-year old from Staten Island hung himself in his home.  Left a three-word note, he did, leaving this world, history and his stunned and horrified family with three haunting words…

“I give up.”

What Daniel gave up against was what he called “unrelenting torture” by bullies at his school – ironically, Holy Angel’s Academy – in a letter he had written only a month earlier.  In that July letter he had also called out teachers who lent a “dead ear” to obvious and desperate cries for help.

The school’s teachers and authorities deny Daniel’s claims, saying they did everything they could to ease the boy’s pain, so I am not here to argue Daniel Fitzpatrick’s charges from the grave.

All I know is that something went terribly wrong.  Once again.

Which is going to be the central theme of the next several posts.  What is going on?  What are the affects of bullying (as if we don’t know)?  And what can we do and how we can do it to interdict on this tragic siege of suicides by bullying?

Until my next post, stay safe.

The Hammer

PROTECTING COEDS ON CAMPUS, PART II

I said it in my last post, and, believe me, I exaggerate not.  If you are a girl or woman on a (high school, or) college campus, you are a target for a gamut of uninvited contact and even assaults by male students as well as non-students who live and play on the outskirts of your campus.  The statistics are harrowing (I’ve quoted them before), and, worse, the statistics for sexual assault, rape, stalking, and devastating threats doesn’t tell half the story because less than 2/3 of assaults go unreported!

PERSONAL SAFETY ON CAMPUS

A pity you must think like this, but, the implications are, if you are on campus, more likely than not you will experience some sort of attack.  What to do to physically take charge of your own safety?

  • Become what I call a Hard Target. Learn to walk in such a way and in such a manner that those who would target you as “easy meat” will change their attitude and leave you alone.  Learn to walk with confidence, swinging your arms contra-laterally and looking around for possible attackers as you walk.  A Victim-Walk is emblemized by a woman looking down at her feet and shuffling unaware from place to place.
  • Okay, second, prepare yourself.  Always arm your brain with a Plan of Action.  In other words, Be Aware, Assess everything around you and ANTICIPATE (what will I do if this or that happens).
  • Third, You Must Be Willing to do what you have to do to escape and evade the potential aggressor.
  • Protect Your Space!  Do not permit anybody inside your PSZ (Personal safety Zone/within 5 feet).
  • Breathe Don’t Freeze (89% of women freeze and hold their breath when first touched).
  • Be Target Focused.  Hit secondary targets (feet/ankles/shins/knees, hips, chest, ears, etc) in order to open up PRIMARY TARGETS (eyes, throat, groin, etc).  Hit them and hit them again until the threat goes away!

It is hard for me to go into self-defense techniques in a one-dimensional venue, so, please consider taking yourself a self-defense course.

Or, you can contact me at harrywigder@rcn.com for more information about self-defense.

Stay Safe,

Hammer

ARE OUR COLLEGES DOING ENOUGH TO PROTECT OUR DAUGHTERS?

I am in agony.  And there is nothing I can do to ease the pain.
Over and over we read about violence against girls and women on or near our campuses.  This has been going on seemingly forever.  Not too long ago, Hannah Graham, an 18-year-old Virginia University student vanished from this placid community school in Charlottesville,  never to be seen again. Odds are she was abducted, tortured, raped, and mutilated by a monster who is suspected of another abduction and murder in 2009.

As terrible as this is, women students have been stalked, harassed, beleaguered, targeted, molested, raped and even killed by male students and male intruders for eons.  Attacked in their sleep, fondled in hallways, raped and murdered and I can find no evidence any school is focusing on these issues through training, security, and/or addressing these issues in public forums.

I will address self-defense for college women, on and off campus, in subsequent posts.

Until then, stay safe.

Hammer

MANAGING VIOLENCE IN THE WORKPLACE

MANAGING WORKPLACE VIOLENCE

My last post – let’s face it – was basically me venting after the senseless murder of a Yale graduate student – a woman – in the supposedly high security lab environment of that esteemed university. The police have dubbed the murder as workplace violence, and, although I don’t completely agree, I posted a monograph on Woman and Workplace Violence (WPV). As I promised at the end of that post, let’s talk a bit about how to effectively deal – on a personal level – with people and events that seem to be cascading toward all –out violence on the job site.

FACTORS THAT PLACE WORKERS AT RISK FOR WPV.

v Contact with the public.

v Responsibilities include the exchange of money.

v The delivery of passengers, goods and/or service.

v Working alone or in small numbers.

v Working with volatile, unstable person(s), et al.

v Working late at night or in the early morning hours.

v Working in a high crime area.

v Guarding valuable properties, including drugs, etc.

v Delivery of home care services.

As you may have noticed, only two of those factors existed relative to the murder of Ms. Lee. She was working alone and she was working in the same location as what turned out to be a volatile, unstable person.

RECOGNIZING THOSE RED, RED FLAGS.

If at all possible, of course, work in the company of people whom you trust. More likely than not, if Ms. Lee had, the angry, emotionally disturbed and volatile person would have stewed in his own rage for a while and gone on his way, leaving Ms. Lee unharmed.

However, if you read my last post (Lust Or WPV?), you might be aware that homicide is the number one cause of death for women (in the workplace). You would also know that incidents of stalking, rape, sexual assault, and other types of violence are visited on women in alarmingly increasing numbers.

My point: Even if she would have gone to the Yale lab with one or two friends, the perpetrator likely would have attempted to stalk, trap and attack Ms. Lee when she was alone and vulnerable.

What then are some of the Red Flags, or Signatures of Danger, you can use to help you profile someone you want to either stay clear of, or, more likely, prepare a self defense plan against?

v A history of violence, stalking, etc. (The Perp in this case had this history).

v He/She has stalked or harassed another worker in the past.

v Some or Many of your co-workers communicate that they also feel uncomfortable around this person.

v The worker is almost always rigid, inflexible, intransigent in how he/she handles work and social-related issues.

v Displays signs of chronic sadness, hopelessness, depression.

v The worker often states his or her hopelessness.

v The worker identifies with past perpetrators of spectacular WPV.

v A Fascination with guns and other weapons.

v Reacts poorly to criticism.

v Projects blame onto others.

v Sees himself as being on a One-Man Crusade.

Ok, so you recognize several of these factors, plus, importantly, you and others feel terribly uncomfortable around the worker, plus, and now I refer to the Yale Incident, he strides toward you, his face contorted in rage, his fists clenched, and he is about to invade your PSZ (Personal Safety Zone).

What do you do?

Stay Tuned For the Next Post. Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

PACE – An Equation for Managing Workplace Violence.

SET THE P.A.C.E. – A Guide For Managing Critical Threat in the Workplace.

 

I’ve been examining some protocols and procedures for managing critical incidents (my terminology, not theirs), and, while they are commendable, I believe in Verbal Judo’s paradigm (I am a former Advanced verbal Judo Instructor) for managing potential catastrophic (critical) incidents. P.A.C.E. is a flexible and enduring set of principles for handling the critical incident in a school place or other type of workplace that can be effective in resolving almost any crises I have come across.

 

A Critical Incident, by the way, is a term I use to describe a situation or scenario where a worker, administrator, student, client or patron, or the perpetrator himself has been killed, or, more likely, the threat of death or serious injury exists. Three examples that come immediately to mind are a hostage situation, an enraged intruder with a gun and/or a worker threatening to take his or her life, and, by definition one or two others down with him. What follows is a procedure that has saved lives in these and other critical incidents.

 

P.A.C.E.

 

PROBLEM. The responding person (security, Resource Officer, employee, or responding law enforcement) needs to ask him/herself and/or the agitated person exactly what is the problem here? Determine not only what is the problem from your perspective, but that of the perpetrator, also.

 

AUDIENCE. What role is the audience playing in the severity of this problem? Moreover, what danger is the audience in if they are allowed to remain on the scene? And, of course, what, if anything can be done to remove or at least neutralize the audience?

 

CONSTRAINTS. Now ask yourself primarily what is or are the constraint(s) that is or are blocking you from resolving this problem? Is there anything you can do to use this constraint to resolve this issue? What can be done to work around this constraint(s)?  I will point out how I suggest you can use constrainst to resolve a situation in a future post.

 

ETHICAL CONCERN. What do you, the responder, have to do to create the needed empathic or ethical perception to affect the agitated person? One needs to adopt a compassionate, caring and genuine ethical presence, yet remain in control of the situation.

 

SPECIFIC WORKPLACE STRATEGIES TO MANAGE AN INSTRUDER OR WORKER WITH A GUN.

(As an Example)

 

  1. Assess the Situation.
  2. Notify Police. Provide as much cogent information as possible. Be prepared to act as a liaison.
  1. a) Who is the gunman?
  2. b) Where is he located?
  3. c) Description of the weapon(s).
  4. d) Evidence that the gun is loaded? Has he discharged the weapon? What has his actual threats been?
  5. e) Are there any injured/dead victims?
  6. f) Is there a targeted victim on the scene?
  7. g) Any pertinent background information on the perpetrator?
  8. h) Quoted reasons or speculated reasons why person is carrying the weapon or plans to shoot?
  1. Isolate the individual or suspect.   Cut and Herd the Audience.
  2. Confer with police once they arrive. Allow them t  o instruct you and others on how you should proceed and how they intend to proceed.
  3. Independent of the police, if interaction with the perpetrator is imminent, do not use force or touch the person or weapon.
  4. Avoid sudden moves or gestures (I always say, “Slow It Down!”).
  5. Remain Calm. Keep voice void of fear or panic. Your tone and/or demeanor will strongly influence the outcome.
  6. Allow one other administrator know about the situation. But limit information to staff and workers on a need-to-know basis.
  7. Use pre-designed emergency signals to 0notify staff of the situation.  Deside whether to Lock Down or Evacuate.

 

QUICK GUIDELINES FOR HANDLING A WEAPON-WIELDING WORKER.

  • EVACUATE THE AREA.
  • EVALUATE THE PERP.
  • ISOLATE THE PERP.
  • NEGOTIATE.
  • REMAIN CALM.
  • GET HELP.
  • AVOID HEROICS.
  • DO NOT THREATEN.
  • KEEP A SAFE, NON-INTIMIDATING DISTANCE.
  • SLOW IT DOWN. AVOID ABRUPT, SPORADIC MOVEMENTS.
  • USE BARRICADES IN THE ENVIRONMENT FOR COVER.
  • REPORT INCIDENTS TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.

 

Until the next post, Stay Safe.

 

HAMMER

Self Defense For Women: Task Oriented Targets

The Fighting Arts for Women – Target-Focused Survival.

You might not know much about survival stress, but, for the sake of brevity, let me just say that once you are attacked from close quarters – especially a spontaneous, surprise attack – your SNS (Sympathetic Nervous System) will flood your entire system with stress hormones, which, again to keep it brief, will pretty much shut down your ability to think exactly when you need to think and act as well and as quickly as possible.

Assuming you are not preparing yourself to respond quickly (fight) every time you answer your door; every time you turn a blind corner; every time you get into or go out of your car; every time you walk down a darkened street where escape routes and barricades are few and far between you need to rely on Principles of the Fighting Arts. Principles are great because they are designed to serve you well no matter what the circumstance.

TIME PROVEN AND RELIABLE PRINCIPLES.

1. Breathe Tactically Upon First Touch (understand that 9 out of 10 victims freeze when first touched and understand that you require oxygenated blood flowing to your brain to act).
2. Use First Touch as a Trigger to Explode Into Action.
3. Always Look For Open Targets and Hit Them Hard and Hit Them Often.
· There are other key principles, but let’s focus on this principle.
· Assuming you are not training hard in the Fighting Arts, you must rely on your eyes Many victims close their eyes and just flail away in a slapping motion. Please resist this urge. Keep your eyes open, keep breathing, and become—
· Task Oriented. You can do this. You must do this. Seeking out Primary and Secondary Targets is within your power, no matter how much stress you are under. If the Bad Guy has both your arms under control, ask yourself If he’s using both hands, well, heck, what targets can he be blocking? The answer: Zero! A Bad Guy can only block two or three possible targets at any one time.
· STAY FOCUSED. There may be times when the Bad Guy has your striking levers tied up, but, if you stay focused and take your punishment for a while, one or more of the following targets will open up. Wait, keep breathing,.

TARGETS.

Ø Eyes.
Ø Throat.
Ø Groin.
Ø Knees.
Ø Nose.
Ø Ears.
Ø Temple.
Ø Back of Head.
Ø Chin (at the hinge).
Ø Sides of Neck (Brachial Plexus Nerve Motor Point).
Ø Jugular Notch (just below Adam’s Apple).
Ø Clavicles (easily assesses and easily broken).
Ø Forearms.
Ø Wrists.
Ø Top of Hands.
Ø Fingers (twisted/broken).
Ø Stomach.
Ø Obliques (Pinch the “love handles” when the Bad Guy grabs you from behind).
Ø Kidneys.
Ø Insides and outsides of thighs (Femoral Nerve Motor Point and Common Peroneal Nerve Motor Point).
Ø Back of Legs (Tibial Nerve Motor Point).
Ø Upper, middle and lower shins (Superficial Peroneal Nerve Motor Point).
Ø Top of feet.

I might have missed one or two. Fact is, as you can see, there are a bajillion targets you can hit. Hit a target well and other will open up.

Good Luck. Stay Safe. Until Next Time.

Hammer
Peroneal Nerve Motor Point).
Ø Top of feet.

I might have missed one or two. Fact is, as you can see, there are a bajillion targets you can hit. Hit a target well and other will open up.

Good Luck. Stay Safe. Until Next Time.

Hammer

The Fighting Arts and Bully Countermeasures.

I WOULD LIKE TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. The Fighting Arts against a bully (bullies) is benign compared to defending oneself against more pernicious types of attacks, where the Bad Guy’s goal includes your serious injury, humiliation, loss of properties and monies, and/or death.

 

YET probably, in both the short and long run, just as important.

 

The goal here is escape and evasion. End of story, Dog. Especially when the attack comes within the legal confines of your school (or workplace) where exists a Zero Tolerance against Fighting. Don’t get me wrong: if it comes down to a choice between going to the hospital or facing a suspension, I say lay the bully out. But in 94 plus % of the situations, you can discourage future attacks and get out of Dodge at the same time.

 

Escape and Evasion – Ten Easy Steps.

 

  1. Prepare. The bully depends on you being so surprised and frightened by their

Attack that you freeze into inactivity. If you think you have been targeted, decide how you are going to respond when it comes. Commit yourself to The Plan. Your plan should include not only a physical response, but your mental and verbal responses also.

  1. Look Calm, Confident. Not the end of the world if you look scared. Also, not the end if you are scared. Nevertheless, get together with your Safety Coach (parents, friend, teacher) and rehearse looking confident.
  2. Cycle Breathe For Calm. Train Calm by breathing in through your nose for a count of 2; holding your breath for a count of 2, then exhaling for a count of 2. Repeat.
  3. Keep Remarks Brief.  It is important to say something. Verbalizing and breathing breaks up your fear and gets your mind and body into Action Mode. Do not beg. Make a brief declarative statement.
    • “Stay where you are, Ace. I can hear you fine from there.”
    • “What (as in “What are you looking at, Dude, or Dudette?”)?”
    • “What are you looking at?”
    • “You look pretty tense. What can I do for you?”
  4. De-escalate Thru Deflection. Deflect any and all incoming insults, threats and intimidation through the Art of Deflection (the bully wants you to absorb verbal attacks, to take them seriously. I want you to Depreciate these Verbal Icons!
    • I’m ugly? You bet. That is the look I’m going for, girl.”
    • I’m fat? What the heck happened, girl? Just an hour ago I looked like Heather Locklear.”
    • You got yourself some pretty bad data there, Dude (response to a bully saying “you are a fagot and we’re gonna kick your ass all over the schoolyard!”).”
  1. DISTRACT. Escape and evasion can often happen after changing the bully’s channel, a metaphor I use for weakening and slowing him/her down by redirecting his or her mental and physical focus. There are many Distraction Techniques (defined as weakening the attacker’s motor actions by changing his or her thought process). Come up with your own distractions, but I have used several great ones to slow my attacker before I executed either a coupe de grace:
    • Coughing and backing up while pointing at the Bad Guy. Stops ‘em cold.
    • “Hey, man, what’s that logo on your shirt (while backing up and pointing)?
    • “Nice shoes (while pointing at his or her shoes).”
    • Shout real loud and point at him as he comes toward you. “STOP!”
  2. MOVE. Don’t get caught flatfooted. Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and sidle from side to side.
  3. TURTLE-UP. When the attack comes get your hands up and move in, tying up the bully. Shuffle around with him.
  4. QUICK STRIKES TO OPEN TARGETS. Deliver a quick strike to an open target. If he or she is concentrating the attack high, go low. Scoot your rearward foot quickly forward and drive the toe of your shoes hard into the bully’s lower shin. Use his or her same side shoulder as a guide to strike that target every time. This surprise strike will surprise the attacker and weaken his or her grip on you. More likely than not, he or she will bring his or her head down, which offers a great target for an ascending Palm Heel Strike to the chin or nose.
  5. GO!

 

Until the Next Post. Stay Safe.

Ham

I WOULD LIKE TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. The Fighting Arts against a bully (bullies) is benign compared to defending oneself against more pernicious types of attacks, where the Bad Guy’s goal includes your serious injury, humiliation, loss of properties and monies, and/or death.

 

YET probably, in both the short and long run, just as important.

 

The goal here is escape and evasion. End of story, Dog. Especially when the attack comes within the legal confines of your school (or workplace) where exists a Zero Tolerance against Fighting. Don’t get me wrong: if it comes down to a choice between going to the hospital or facing a suspension, I say lay the bully out. But in 94 plus % of the situations, you can discourage future attacks and get out of Dodge at the same time.

 

Escape and Evasion – Ten Easy Steps.

 

  1. Prepare. The bully depends on you being so surprised and frightened by their

Attack that you freeze into inactivity. If you think you have been targeted, decide how you are going to respond when it comes. Commit yourself to The Plan. Your plan should include not only a physical response, but your mental and verbal responses also.

  1. Look Calm, Confident. Not the end of the world if you look scared. Also, not the end if you are scared. Nevertheless, get together with your Safety Coach (parents, friend, teacher) and rehearse looking confident.
  2. Cycle Breathe For Calm. Train Calm by breathing in through your nose for a count of 2; holding your breath for a count of 2, then exhaling for a count of 2. Repeat.
  3. Keep Remarks Brief. It is important to say something. Verbalizing and breathing breaks up your fear and gets your mind and body into Action Mode. Do not beg. Make a brief declarative statement.
    • “Stay where you are, Ace. I can hear you fine from there.”
    • “What (as in “What are you looking at, Dude, or Dudette?”)?”
    • “What are you looking at?”
    • “You look pretty tense. What can I do for you?”
  4. De-escalate Thru Deflection. Deflect any and all incoming insults, threats and intimidation through the Art of Deflection (the bully wants you to absorb verbal attacks, to take them seriously. I want you to Depreciate these Verbal Icons!
    • I’m ugly? You bet. That is the look I’m going for, girl.”
    • I’m fat? What the heck happened, girl? Just an hour ago I looked like Heather Locklear.”
    • You got yourself some pretty bad data there, Dude (response to a bully saying “you are a fagot and we’re gonna kick your ass all over the schoolyard!”).”
  1. DISTRACT. Escape and evasion can often happen after changing the bully’s channel, a metaphor I use for weakening and slowing him/her down by redirecting his or her mental and physical focus. There are many Distraction Techniques (defined as weakening the attacker’s motor actions by changing his or her thought process). Come up with your own distractions, but I have used several great ones to slow my attacker before I executed either a coupe de grace:
    • Coughing and backing up while pointing at the Bad Guy. Stops ‘em cold.
    • “Hey, man, what’s that logo on your shirt (while backing up and pointing)?
    • “Nice shoes (while pointing at his or her shoes).”
    • Shout real loud and point at him as he comes toward you. “STOP!”
  2. MOVE. Don’t get caught flatfooted. Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and sidle from side to side.
  3. TURTLE-UP. When the attack comes get your hands up and move in, tying up the bully. Shuffle around with him.
  4. QUICK STRIKES TO OPEN TARGETS. Deliver a quick strike to an open target. If he or she is concentrating the attack high, go low. Scoot your rearward foot quickly forward and drive the toe of your shoes hard into the bully’s lower shin. Use his or her same side shoulder as a guide to strike that target every time. This surprise strike will surprise the attacker and weaken his or her grip on you. More likely than not, he or she will bring his or her head down, which offers a great target for an ascending Palm Heel Strike to the chin or nose.
  5. GO!

 

Until the Next Post. Stay Safe.

Ham

I WOULD LIKE TO SET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. The Fighting Arts against a bully (bullies) is benign compared to defending oneself against more pernicious types of attacks, where the Bad Guy’s goal includes your serious injury, humiliation, loss of properties and monies, and/or death.

 

YET probably, in both the short and long run, just as important.

 

The goal here is escape and evasion. End of story, Dog. Especially when the attack comes within the legal confines of your school (or workplace) where exists a Zero Tolerance against Fighting. Don’t get me wrong: if it comes down to a choice between going to the hospital or facing a suspension, I say lay the bully out. But in 94 plus % of the situations, you can discourage future attacks and get out of Dodge at the same time.

 

Escape and Evasion – Ten Easy Steps.

 

  1. Prepare. The bully depends on you being so surprised and frightened by their

Attack that you freeze into inactivity. If you think you have been targeted, decide how you are going to respond when it comes. Commit yourself to The Plan. Your plan should include not only a physical response, but your mental and verbal responses also.

  1. Look Calm, Confident. Not the end of the world if you look scared. Also, not the end if you are scared. Nevertheless, get together with your Safety Coach (parents, friend, teacher) and rehearse looking confident.
  2. Cycle Breathe For Calm. Train Calm by breathing in through your nose for a count of 2; holding your breath for a count of 2, then exhaling for a count of 2. Repeat.
  3. Keep Remarks Brief. It is important to say something. Verbalizing and breathing breaks up your fear and gets your mind and body into Action Mode. Do not beg. Make a brief declarative statement.
    • “Stay where you are, Ace. I can hear you fine from there.”
    • “What (as in “What are you looking at, Dude, or Dudette?”)?”
    • “What are you looking at?”
    • “You look pretty tense. What can I do for you?”
  4. De-escalate Thru Deflection. Deflect any and all incoming insults, threats and intimidation through the Art of Deflection (the bully wants you to absorb verbal attacks, to take them seriously. I want you to Depreciate these Verbal Icons!
    • I’m ugly? You bet. That is the look I’m going for, girl.”
    • I’m fat? What the heck happened, girl? Just an hour ago I looked like Heather Locklear.”
    • You got yourself some pretty bad data there, Dude (response to a bully saying “you are a fagot and we’re gonna kick your ass all over the schoolyard!”).”
  1. DISTRACT. Escape and evasion can often happen after changing the bully’s channel, a metaphor I use for weakening and slowing him/her down by redirecting his or her mental and physical focus. There are many Distraction Techniques (defined as weakening the attacker’s motor actions by changing his or her thought process). Come up with your own distractions, but I have used several great ones to slow my attacker before I executed either a coupe de grace:
    • Coughing and backing up while pointing at the Bad Guy. Stops ‘em cold.
    • “Hey, man, what’s that logo on your shirt (while backing up and pointing)?
    • “Nice shoes (while pointing at his or her shoes).”
    • Shout real loud and point at him as he comes toward you. “STOP!”
  2. MOVE. Don’t get caught flatfooted. Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and sidle from side to side.
  3. TURTLE-UP. When the attack comes get your hands up and move in, tying up the bully. Shuffle around with him.
  4. QUICK STRIKES TO OPEN TARGETS. Deliver a quick strike to an open target. If he or she is concentrating the attack high, go low. Scoot your rearward foot quickly forward and drive the toe of your shoes hard into the bully’s lower shin. Use his or her same side shoulder as a guide to strike that target every time. This surprise strike will surprise the attacker and weaken his or her grip on you. More likely than not, he or she will bring his or her head down, which offers a great target for an ascending Palm Heel Strike to the chin or nose.
  5. GO!

 

Until the Next Post. Stay Safe.

Ham